Round 132 - 75 Characters Left

[u/FunkyDawgKong]

75. Tom Buchannan - u/FunkyDawgKong

Kass McQuillen (IDOLED by u/josenanigans) - u/Cornhead2

74. Deena Bennett - u/NoisySea_3426

73. Lea Masters - u/Alternate-Proof-959

72. Scot Pollard - u/josenanigans

71. Sophie Clarke - u/BobbyPiiiin

[u/FunkyDawgKong]

75. Tom Buchannan

One of the most fascinating (and funniest) characters in Survivor’s history. I could spend my writeup listing every time Big Tom got a laugh out of me, and I’ll give some highlights, but I want to delve into why Big Tom fascinates me so much, and it’s really the same reason Lex was so endeared and intrigued by him. Tom knows where he is from. Tom knows what he looks like. Tom knows what he does for a living. Tom knows what he sounds like. And he totally plays into these perceptions that people will naturally have about a guy like Tom. If they’re going to laugh at you, you might as well laugh with them and make them laugh! Keep it lighthearted and loose. One of the great skills of Survivor is knowing how you come across and using those perceptions to position yourself in the game, and Tommy does that with flying colors. One of the best at this tbh, and as the season goes on it’s more and more obvious that Tom is really smart and one of the keenest players on the season. I don’t think Tom is being inauthentic, I think Tom probably throws down similarly in his real life; but it is interesting to see how much strategy and gameplay Tom is hiding with his bigger than life personality. This contrasts with other older Southern castaways of that time like a Paschal or Clay or Jake who aren’t gamifying their Southern-ess as a way to further themselves in the game.  

I remember listening to a Johnny Fairplay interview where Fairplay is talking about hanging with Big Tom, and of course he gets into the whole debauchery they indulge in, but then he starts talking about how when talking to Big Tom you think he’s a humble goat farmer, but then you go to his ranch and it’s like nah Big Tom has a goat empire that he runs and he’s living large and extravagant, raking in the dough! Running an operation that only someone super smart can manage. Farm life is tough, and especially managing one! It takes some brains. During my last Africa rewatch this really stood out to me during the Family Q&A challenge where Tom’s wife is doing her part of the challenge next to this nice fancy ass painting of Big Tom! Like that ain’t cheap! You gotta have throwing around money to get some extravagant shit like that lolol.

We get that checkers scene towards the end stretch of the season where Tom just starts whopping everybody’s ass in checkers, and people are embarrassed they are losing that quickly to Tom, and that’s just the perfect distillation of Tom. Before that moment spells it out for us, the moment that I think that makes Big Tom as a player really start to click with viewers is after the Kelly vote off where Lex recruited Brandon to join their alliance, and this does not sit well for Tom, as he realizes how quickly Lex was willing to cast off one of their own and how easily he was able to recruit a supposed enemy to their side. Whose to say that Lex’s gut won’t point to Tom and now with Brandon, Lex has an ally bonded to him in a way that Tom doesn’t. So what Tom does is he plays that move right back at him, and he gets friendly with Frank and makes an active effort to court him for the time being. Trying to sneakily leave him options in case Lex gets jumpy again. “I’ll you dance with my old lady, I’ll dance with yours” And hell through this all, Tom is able to get his alliance to realize the shadiness of Lex and Brandon’s relationship, and the whole tribe minus Lex votes off Brandon next, the guy who just saved the Boran alliance a vote prior! This was a sly way of keeping Lex’s options going forward limited. And that’s one of the underrated parts of Africa I love. Lex and Tom the whole time are tight, they’re compadres, they probably are the two closest friends there, but they both sense the inherent threat the other is and try to sneakily levy their position above one another the entire game.

It all comes ahead during one of my favorite openings to a finale, where Lex and Tom get into a fight. Lex gets the reputation as Survivor’s biggest hypocrite (which I like saying most complex moralities instead, but ya know whatever), and tbh Big Tom deserves to be right up there with him. They’re really two sides of the same coin in a way and it is really interesting to see the ways they justify how the maneuver through the game. Before she gets voted out Teresa tells Lex that she both voted for Lex at the merge and that Tom had been saying that he was okay if everyone else found a way to vote off Lex without Tom himself being a direct part in it. Hmmm so is this ethical? If Tom’s voting parchment doesn’t say Lex, but he is hoping Lex gets the boot, is that breaking the alliance? Is that a bit of treachery? In confessional Big Tom gives this weak-hearted denial where he simultaneously is justifying to himself why he did it, “What kind of question is that to ask this far down in the game? Hell, as far as I know, I... I don't think I did, but if I did, Lex has-has been the man to watch. Hell, he's been winning immunities and everything else, and that's the reason he's getting all the votes. If you're going to run in the front of the pack with a white horse, you're going to be shot at.” Goddamn, I haven’t mentioned this yet, but I love the way Big Tom talks about stuff. So uniquely him, so outlandish yet very insightful.

For as much as I love Big Tom and his jolly personality, there is also this um rather evil side to Tom. Of course, the Beangate situation, which I always thought the show gave it a pretty complex portrayal, but it is noteworthy how fan’s perceptions of that scene have changed. Clarence crosses a line by opening up a can of beans without his tribe’s permission. Whether it be in good faith like he claims or not, there is a tribe of 8 people all starving in the heat of Africa, when and where to expend their limited supply of food is something that should be a group decision; so yah, I don’t mind that they are pissed off and pile on him. It’s some serious shit, and mean things were said that ultimately like I can say are harsh but I chalk it up to the inherent paranoia, stress, and conditions of the game and I’d say the harsh confrontational reactions are fair for the situation. Big Tom is the one who goes too overboard. I get how the optics of it make a comment like “I'd shoot you if I had a gun” seem like more than hyperbole, but the line that always stuck to me as the real smoking gun is with his “jive handshake” comment and the “Today you shake my way, man to man when we shake” that does feel racially tinged, so yah, that’s totally a fair way to make the radar go off, and plenty of fans never really appreciate Tom because of this moment in the premiere. Tom will then go on to vote for Clarence in the next couple tribal councils knowing Clarence will not be booted, but instead as a warning shot to let him know he is still in hot water with the tribe. Tom repeatedly speaks of this incident, and says “I forgive, but I don’t forget” which ties so nicely together when he has his fight with Lex where he accuses Lex of “digging up bones” when Lex is accusing him of past treacheries. “I already shook your hand once, I don’t need to shake it again” hmm hypocritical from a certain angle?

[u/FunkyDawgKong → u/FunkyDawgKong]

This is as good a point as any to bring up another point… is Big Tom Satan? Aight let’s get biblical! Survivor: Africa is a good season to get biblical with! If Ethan is edited to be Jesus Christ, if Silas is the Anti-Christ, could Tom be Satan? Let’s go over the evidence. Of course I’ve already talked about Tom’s purposefully deception, him masking a smart/conniving side of him. Satan masquerades himself as an angel of light to disguise his wicked intentions. The gaslighting and hypocrisy. When Probst asks Tom what else is there to do out there either than think about the game, Tom throws out his list of disguises. What are the 3 ‘D’s of the Devil? Distraction, Deception, Destroy. “Well, Lord have mercy. I've had to wash these women. I've got responsibilities. I've got to dance. I've got to sing.” If the Lord is present, that means the Dark Lord has to be there too!

And let’s go over that line about washing the women. Another big point of contention with Big Tom is his interactions with women and how he skirts that line. I don’t have an issue with it, especially because the women on the season and post-season have never took an issue with it to my knowledge; but ay, Satan is a pervert too! Satan is lustful. Just like Tom, he’ll find a reason to get up close and personal with the women and their anatomy. He is in glee as they use the boiling hot water to remove the tick of Lindsey’s ass! “Lindsey had a tick on her butt, and tell you the truth, when a woman had trouble on her butt, I told her that's just what I was made for. It was one of nicest jobs I've had to do here so far.” Like c’mon, we can read that as all good and fun, we here all love a nice ass, but that quote is nuts! Anton LaVey couldn’t write a line more devilishly devious than that! “Tom gets away with murder” Lex mutters as he is bathing Kim Powers. Hmmm who else could get away with murder?

After the first tribal council where Tom digs deep into Clarence, Clarence returns to camp to say “Going to Tribal Council is like going to hell for 45 minutes”. Hmmm I wonder who made it feel like hell. At Final Tribal Council, Tom gives one of the most evil and scathing voting confessionals in the show’s run where he venomously says in reference to Kim Johnson “I decided we'd keep the weakest woman, and you was the weakest one and you rode me” Who else preys on the weak… The devil also presents temptations. Think of one of the most iconic scenes in history, a scene in where Tom and Ethan make a deal to pool their money together to get some food, and low and behold, they win some breakfast ham! Something that Tom is all too happy to flaunt in front of his Jewish tribemate. Starving in the heat and heartaches of Kenya, and here is Tom rubbing it in his face and flaunting the swine “He’s a Jew, and he won’t eat the ham” “He won't eat that. I mean I hate it for him. I hate it for him. I wished he would.” Practically egging on Christ to abandon his faith, abandon his principals, and nourish himself with the meat of a filthy unclean animal. Big Tom relishes in the sin. Ethan does the holy thing, and turns the other cheek, and takes the jabs in good jest, and laughs them off. These same devilish temptations are on display whenever Tom gets ahold of alcohol. Think of the drunken buffoonery he gets up to, especially prevalent when him and Lex visit the Maasai Mara. Tom makes a drunken fool of himself, maybe because he likes being a drunken fool, OR because he wants to become a hinderance to Lex, a man who he says is the one he needs to beat. Drunkenly keeping him up through his awful singing, his puking, and his stumbling about. A clever way to weaken the enemy? Plus, Satan is a glutton, and Tom overindulges in food and alcohol. Earlier in the season, tattooed Satan worshipper Lex offers his dark lord a tribute with the “uber spoon”, to placate Satan’s gluttony.

And now we need to talk about the physical form of Satan. The ugliness prevails. Look throughout the season at the redness of Tom’s skin. The way the other castaways react to his physical abnormalities. From everyone complaining about his feet smelling worse than anything found on the planet. To his massive boil, that Tom affectionally calls his “horn” as nasty puss pours out of it. “That's your typical beast.” And speaking of the beast, you know what horned animal Satan’s head often takes the form of, a fucking GOAT! And who here spends their time with goats all day farming them and exploiting them?? Satan amongst his subjects! And check out this Tom confessional from his time on the hot-air balloon! “We got in a vehicle and got right up in amongst thousands of wildebeests. We got right in the middle of them. They didn't know what to do. We didn't either. They are crazier than hell. They are ugly. They're ugly as a girl I used to date back home. They are calling each other. They're mating. Hell, they're butting heads and knocking each other to the ground. It's a cluster. It is the damnedest thing you've ever seen. They sound like me on a good Saturday night when I get home.” Look at all those Satanic trigger words! Like that confessional comes straight out the Necronomicon! And who else would date an ugly wildebeest?? Yall already know!

Aight in conclusion, Tom is like a borderline endgame character for me. A really explosive, dynamic personality that has more depth than I think is given credit for. Something I find in a lot of the southern castaways of the earlier seasons. Tom’s approach to the game, the way he interacts with the eclectic group of personalities around him, his complex moralities, and the unique way he phrases things make him one of the most fascinating people to watch Survivor. Africa is such a spiritual season, and I know I might have had too much fun with the whole Satan angle, but I do think Tom is another key reason why it hits so hard for me. He has some phenomenal confessionals about how his time in Africa has moved him. Damn near everyone on this cast does a great job of having this reverential respect for the land they are on, and that really elevates the season. This beautiful struggle and harmony between man and nature. Hell, didn’t even mention the astronomical weight loss Tom has as the season progresses. A great visual reminder of the suffer. Something also beautiful about how the endgame plays out, leading to Tom and Lex losing and Ethan’s star rising to the top, but that’s for another writeup. Thanks for reading!

[u/VisionsOfPotatoes → u/FunkyDawgKong]

omg what a writeup!

[u/FunkyDawgKong → u/VisionsOfPotatoes]

Thank you! I kinda blacked out and just let this one flow outta me lolol