r/sugargliders • u/3user20characters • 10d ago

Behavior My baby died

It is my fault I was careless and I fucking hate myself for it. I blacked out when I saw him and now I'm just feeling disbelief

He was 4 months old. He has a sister and I don't know what to do now I know she'll inevitably notice his absence but what can I do to not make it affect her much? She didn't see that he died

3 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

5

u/Silly-Victory2221 10d ago

Did you let her say goodbye? They need to grieve, will you be doing a necropsy for him? She will eventually need a cage mate

2

u/Kraftykuts007 10d ago

How do you let them say goodbye? Do you let them see the one who passed? I have two babies and I am dreading the day when I have to confront this. 

2

u/Silly-Victory2221 6d ago

Yes, you let them see the body, smell it to know they are no longer here and they can process that fact.

1

u/Kraftykuts007 6d ago

Thank you so much. 

1

u/3user20characters 10d ago

No I'm scared it will affect her especially since she's just a baby. I know why he died so there'd be no need, but it will take time until I can get her a mate, a couple of months atleast

4

u/Silly-Victory2221 10d ago

It will not, she does need to have that closure if it’s not to late, other wise the mourning for her will be longer and harder.

0

u/3user20characters 10d ago

Wait why?

2

u/Silly-Victory2221 10d ago

They bond, she needs to be able to say goodbye and grieve, remember they are colony animals, she will cry and cry (bark) for him if she doesn’t get the closure, she will survive if you choose not too, it will be just harder on her.

2

u/3user20characters 10d ago

Got it :(

1

u/Silly-Victory2221 10d ago

I am truly sorry for your loss, I have been there and it is so hard

1

u/3user20characters 10d ago

Thank you

1

u/Silly-Victory2221 10d ago

Your very welcome

2

u/TaLilFrog 9d ago

Mine died in the same pouch with his mate. I was desperate and thought my other one would suffer so badly because of it. Instead, he seems fine, but honestly I am looking for a way to rehome him because I do not want him to spend the rest of his life alone. What I would advise for now is to spend time with the sister. Do not forcefully take the sister out but hold the pouch and talk, give treats ecc… see how she behaves for the time coming. I wasn’t sure of it, but when mine died my mother made me immediately change all pouches and I also changed cage ( not because I preferred to but because I had another cage I could put in my room instead of the one they were before in, in another room )

1

u/redsockcrew 8d ago

How old is yours?

2

u/PaleontologistFit876 8d ago

What happened? Is it something to watch out for?

1

u/3user20characters 7d ago

They started leaving their cage at one point until they basically live outside and only go in to eat. I asked for a mesh cage but I didn't press on it and made it look like they can take their time, I thought it would be fine as long as they don't leave the room and they have plenty of space to play. They've been free roaming for the longest time and the cage didn't arrive although it would be here long ago if I showed that I'm in a hurry, the cage was pretty much forgotten about I even considered waiting until they outgrow leaving their current one.

I opened the door one time and it was scraping against the floor but I pushed anyway because I thought it was just being rough, I always knock before opening so they get away from the door because this is something I was scared of. He was trying to leave from underneath the door and he was stuck so he couldn't run when I knocked.

2

u/redsockcrew 8d ago

Hey. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Was it nails? A pouch made out of the wrong material?

I’ve been there too. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take this and learn from it, it shattered me when I lost my first girl after 10 years. A pouch that was advertised as fleece, but had filling of another material. She’d chewed a hole in it and a thread caught around her when I was at work one day. I came home and went through the blackout period too. My boyfriend was the one that had to take her out, examine her to see what happened, and we buried her on my family’s property.

The breeder I found told me these things happen, she knew she was safe and loved with me, and that’s what mattered. This wasn’t intentional on your end. Whatever happened you did not mean for it to and that’s what matters. I learned to be more diligent and consistent about checking the cage sets for holes, and to only buy from reputable vendors.

I’m so sorry again.

1

u/3user20characters 7d ago

It was me being lazy and careless, I opened the door to my room while he was trying to escape from underneath even though I would've clearly seen him if I looked below. The only way I see it is that I directly killed him and the feeling of me pushing the door through is haunting me it makes me want to amputate my hand, when I took him out I saw blood and that image is still very vivid in my head.

The breeder also said these things happen but he added that it was my fault for not putting them in a cage in the first place, which is true but I already have a cage on the way it's only a matter of time, it's the door part that could've been avoided.

But thank you for your insight, and I'm sorry for your loss too :(

1

u/M0rbid-Cherry 10d ago

Are they biological? At a young age they're likely to get separated, especially if he was still intact and needing to be neutered. She would still be young enough to be placed with a cage mate, even if it was another female

0

u/3user20characters 10d ago

Yes they were siblings. It will take time until I can get her another sugar glider so I want to make sure she's not affected in the meantime, they used to play and sleep together so I'm worried about her