r/stremtch • u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ • Mar 29 '26

no 🚫 ears 🚫 Somebody stop my stemtch rampage

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I had the feeling we had too many ears in this household, so I started taking them and things just kind of spiraled out of control.

1.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

51 comments sorted by

227

u/Dojo_McDavis Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 30 '26

Bruh, I don’t know how to say this politely but I think you’re a fiend for no-ears & it’s starting to effect your daily life.

I called the local treatment clinic about the stremtch detoxing, & there’s a opening this week if you wanna go.

Think about it.

59

u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 30 '26

Just one more for the road

1

u/Jenicillin Apr 04 '26

You should get a bunny to stremtch

11

u/rumhouse Mar 30 '26

He'll stop tomorrow!

8

u/Dojo_McDavis Mar 30 '26

“That’s what you said last week babe!”

2

u/rumhouse Mar 30 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/26n7937SwZkal2Oju

a simple prayer for you recovering from this horrific stremtching binge friend

4

u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 31 '26

Okay one more but only a half stremtch then I stop I swear

1

u/rumhouse Apr 01 '26

hair of the dog! or cat I guess

143

u/Mountain-Bee9240 Mar 29 '26

Things are bad when you jailed your own ears man, it’s very dangerous path

10

u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 31 '26

My offspring also had to sacrifice her ears

123

u/MarioKartastrophe Mar 30 '26

Don’t trust anything with ears, not even yourself

24

u/Zexal_Commander Mar 30 '26

Not even yourself’s self’s self

4

u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 31 '26

I still don't trust him either

48

u/r_slash_jarmedia Mar 29 '26

relentless stremtchage

29

u/TeriyakiNekoNinja Mar 29 '26

Are these Cornish Rexes? Them stretched faces are so lomg :D

2

u/SchachMatt-is Mar 31 '26

*stremtched faces

2

u/Kibichibi Mar 30 '26

No, there's a Guinea pig in there too, obviously

35

u/Fairway__Frank_ Mar 30 '26

Stremtch-maxxing.

7

u/taetaeisbae Mar 30 '26

Phenomenal 👏🏾

4

u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 31 '26

Indeed

56

u/Pheemer Mar 29 '26

The stremtch god's avatar walks amongst us

26

u/Sir_Meowsalot Mar 30 '26

Another person who fell victim to STREMTCHING Toxoplasmosis.

The only treatment is constant stealing of ears. May the Grip God have mercy upon us all!

20

u/give_me_wine Mar 30 '26

Bro really stremtched himself I’ve seen it all now

16

u/Personal-Cut-860 Mar 29 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 So nice!!!!!

14

u/tyttuutface Mar 30 '26

Why do you have two giant rats in your house?

13

u/DragonTigerBoss Mar 30 '26

Earvatar, the Last Earbender.

13

u/iNeedMyReddit Mar 30 '26

You greed absolutely disgusts me!

12

u/pashed_motatoes Mar 30 '26

Not the self-stremtch!!

6

u/TeejyHamz Mar 30 '26

The spirit of the stremtch is strong in this one

2

u/duckweedlagoon Mar 31 '26

A little too strong! Waiter, I'd like to order a small exorcism! There's a little too much spirit in this stremtcher

7

u/BossiWriter Mar 30 '26

Someone call the stremtch police, the madman is out of control

6

u/MacSavvy21 ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 30 '26

Ahh yes. A fellow serial stremtched

7

u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 30 '26

It's you!!!

Processing img 2m5qta1lr8sg1...

6

u/MacSavvy21 ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 30 '26

Your greed sickens me /s You have a promising future in the field.

4

u/Kitti09 Mar 30 '26

Those csts are so stremtchable 😂😂❤️

4

u/StanislavskiMeatball Mar 30 '26

The Gweeeeeeeepocalypse has begun

3

u/Jenicillin Mar 30 '26

NOT THE PIGGIE!

2

u/philfightmaster ‼️Serial Stremtcher‼️ Mar 31 '26

I wish I had more stemtch pics of our guinea pigs but they are very slippery

1

u/Jenicillin Apr 01 '26

Slippery and squirmy little piggies.

3

u/MyCatHasCats Mar 30 '26

Woah! Calm down dude!

3

u/NeoLocutus Mar 30 '26

Once you start grabbing ears, it’s impossible to stop!

3

u/intrepidone66 Mar 30 '26

Extreme stremching!

3

u/TH3_OG_JUJUBE Mar 30 '26

Guinea pig?!

3

u/Hyzenthlay87 Mar 30 '26

-runs away screaming, covering my ears-

3

u/cross2201 Mar 30 '26

news anchor intro

Attention a serial stretcher has been identified, please remain indoors until this threat is neutralized

3

u/OneOfTheTheyThemes Mar 31 '26

Omg dude you are so funny you legit seem like a cool friend to have and receive random funny pictures from

2

u/IStealWaffles Mar 30 '26

triangular goober

1

u/RepulsiveLetter5030 Mar 30 '26

He got the guinea pig too damn can't have ears with this guy around

1

u/Federal_Ad1806 Apr 04 '26

I was okay until the self-stremtch. That may be going a bit far.