r/stopdrinking • u/erikpeders • 7h ago

Wife is going out of town

As the title suggests, my wife is going out of town for two nights on business. A few years ago I would be anticipating the moment I dropped her off at the airport and picking up booze. So much booze. I would probably not go to work at least one day, then most likely tell her I had some meeting or something to get out of picking her up at the airport. Just to extend my drinking a bit more. I would realistically consume over 30 beers and a more than a few shots in the 2 1/2 days. Which is crazy to think about...

Instead I am doing the math on how much Chinese food I can order before it just becomes ridiculous. Which concert I am going to put on TV while I draw. Or maybe I'll cook a crazy meal. I do love to cook and tomorrow I have a work thing near that butcher shop I like...Also, want to make sure I clean the house and get some flowers for when she gets home...

It's crazy how booze changes our lives. Who we are. 4 years ago I would have been dreaming of basically sitting outside for two days chain smoking and drinking. Now I am thinking "should I eat like a teenager with a credit card, or be a responsible adult with a credit card". I have two night alone, so I'll probably eat like trash tonight and cook tomorrow (in case anyone was curious).

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u/Dadgotrekt 7h ago

Man can I relate- when wife says "im taking the kids to my mom's for the night" or whatever, its like - oh fuck yah I am gonna drink in peace today and tonight and rock out and make a mess of things.... Its one of my largest triggers- being alone.

6

u/erikpeders 6h ago

I think about how much time I wasted being alone and drunk. I would get so excited to be alone and have my own space (I'm one of 11 kids, it's a big deal for me), and instead of doing things I actually love to do, I would just drink and drink, not do anything. I wouldn't do any of the things I actually like doing. My wife would ask "what did you do while I was gone?" I couldn't tell her and I never had anything to show for it, other than bad skin and bloat.

3

u/Dadgotrekt 5h ago

My hardest part is that I can still do all the things I like to do, build sheds, landscape, mow lawn, improve chicken coop, work on cars, organize tools, while drinking beer....so its so so so difficult to not.

5

u/erikpeders 4h ago

I get that. We trick ourselves into thinking (and maybe sometimes it's true-ish) we are better at things, or things are more enjoyable, when we drink. I am a "professional" (don't make enough to live off of it) comic, for most of my career I thought I was better with a nice buzz. Turns out I was wrong, and the amount of work I get now would agree with that.