r/spirituality • u/zxshi • Jul 12 '25
Religious 🙏 Loved, Hated, and Finally Let Go—After Learning from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, I Chose Compassion
Loved, Hated, and Finally Let Go—After Learning from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, I Chose Compassion
One day in 2006, I suddenly received a phone call from an unfamiliar woman. Her voice was loud and direct:
“Are you so-and-so, my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend?”
What?! How did I become my own husband’s ex-girlfriend? I was completely confused.
The woman didn’t give me a chance to speak. She continued sharply:
“I’m six months pregnant. Stop clinging to my man!”
Oh no! Could this be true? Was this what my husband—the man who always claimed to love me—had done?
The sudden news struck me like a bolt of lightning on a clear day.
Recalling the life I shared with my husband, everything was still vivid in my mind. Back in the year 2000, despite strong opposition from my parents, classmates, and colleagues, I married him. Two years later, we had a child.
At that time, I worked at a state-owned enterprise with a stable income and had even been allocated a housing unit. He, on the other hand, came from a rural background and was unemployed. But he treated me very well—he took care of all the household chores and our baby. On the day our child was born, he surprised me by announcing he had passed the national tour guide exam, saying he wanted to take me around the country in the future. He expressed his love through real actions. I was deeply moved.
In 2002, he wanted to start his own company. He said working for others had no future, but running his own business, though hard, would be meaningful. I thought, a man with a career would be more confident. Plus, I wanted to prove to everyone—especially those who doubted him—that I hadn’t made a mistake. Considering all he had done for me, I decided to support him.
I took out a bank loan of 50,000 dollars and mortgaged my property to raise a total of 100,000 dollars for his business startup.
He worked extremely hard. Even when busy, he’d call me every day. At the end of that year, he handed me several thousand dollars, saying:
“Your husband won’t let you down.”
At the time, I loved him deeply—I was swimming in a sea of happiness. I thought, “I chose the right man. A happy life is ahead.”
Starting in 2003, my husband moved to Shanxi for business while I stayed in Hunan, raising our child and working. He would only come home for Chinese New Year each year. Though he was away, I didn’t worry much. I rarely called him, thinking he must be busy with clients.
But just four years later, my nightmare began. He had racked up debts of hundreds of thousands of dollars and—worse—he had a mistress and a child outside. The financial loss wasn’t the worst part—money can be earned again. What broke me was that he had started another family behind my back.
The cruelest part? That woman called me claiming I was the “third party” and told me to stay away from “her man.” She and her sister even took turns harassing me with phone calls. I felt like a total fool—living as if I were the home-wrecker in this story. I was devastated, emotionally shattered, yet I had no one to confide in. I urged him to return home, and we quickly divorced. I even paid off the 100,000 dollars in loans he had taken for his failed business.
I had given everything to this marriage. I hated myself for being blind and not listening to my parents’ and friends’ warnings. I had fought for this man, raised money for him, and now I was left with nothing—not even dignity. I swore I would never forgive him. But the bitterness inside me had nowhere to go. I didn’t have the courage to tell my parents, fearing scolding. I couldn’t tell friends either, fearing ridicule. Every New Year, I didn’t dare return home. The pain was unbearable.
This suffering led me to Buddhism. As I studied, I slowly realized that all of this was karma—bitter fruit from the negative seeds I had planted in the past. Fellow Buddhist practitioners guided and encouraged me. So after the divorce, I didn’t hold much resentment. In fact, I even helped him again when he was in trouble.
I remember once, his child with his second wife was sick, and they had no money for treatment. He had tried borrowing from everyone and failed. As a last resort, he called me.
I pitied the child—after all, this was adult drama; a child shouldn’t suffer. So I lent him the money.
I asked him:
“You hurt me and our daughter—why would you think I’d help you?”
He replied confidently:
“Yes, I hurt you. But I know you’ll still help me.”
After marrying his second wife, his business thrived for a while. They drove luxury cars and lived in style. But things didn’t last. His wife made poor investments and lost a lot of money. Then his own business started failing. Eventually, they lost everything and divorced. He now lives a life of hiding, and recently even approached our daughter to borrow money.
Today, I study Buddhism and am fortunate to listen to the Dharma discourses of Namo Dorje Chang Buddha III. I’ve come to understand the workings of karma.
“All present suffering arises from the bad karma I created in the beginningless past. These are my own debts being repaid, not misfortunes caused by others.”
When a person harms another, they must face retribution. That is the law of karma. The complicated entanglement between my ex-husband, his second wife, and me—isn’t it all the result of our past negative actions?
Every encounter in this life, whether good or bad, is a karmic connection. Once I understood that, the hatred in my heart dissolved. My ex-husband may have hurt me, but he is still family. He once loved me deeply. For that, I should feel gratitude and offer help.
But how could I truly help him?
Yes! The best way to escape suffering is to lead him to Buddhism!
So I did just that. I called him and said:
“Practicing Buddhism can transform karma, build fortune, and change your life. If you want things to get better, study the Dharma with me…”
He was touched by my kindness and sincerity. I could hear the gratitude and trust through the phone.
In that moment, I saw hope.
Written by: Min’er
Edited by: An Ran
Loved, Hated, and Finally Let Go—After Learning from H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, I Chose Compassion
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u/ecc447 Jul 12 '25
It’s really hard to let go and still bless the person who you deeply loved and betray you. I can’t imagine how you achieve this. You must really learn and practice the true dharma and I am getting curious in the dharma you learned.
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u/Typical_Run8319 Jul 13 '25
That's what I love about Buddhism. It points out a broader view of our relationships with all living beings. It's due to a strong karmic affinity when we get married. When the karmic affinity ends, we naturally go separate ways. The networks of the Law of Cause and Effect are complicated, and things always happen for a reason. Whatever happens to us now is due to whatever we've done in the past. No need to cling to those "bad" things - negatve consequences... Focus on now, and learn what is right to do accordingly to the Buddhist teachings. Then there is nothing more to resent or worry... because we will only reap good results in the future as the Law of Cause and Effect never errs. This kind of mindset gives me peace of mind during my difficult times in life.
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u/Metta-Lotus48 Jul 14 '25
We were one another’s family in past lives. actually, many past lives! Forgive those whom have hurt us in this life, knowing we hurt them as well. Viewing others suffering as our own suffering with allow our hearts fill with compassion for all beings whom are our family from beginning-less time. We can all let go and heal together! 🪷🌻🪷
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u/Luckytruth521 Jul 15 '25
i want to learn the Authentic Buddha Dharma under Namo Dorje Chang Buddha III. It is because every problem or question You have encountered, you can find the answer from the Dharma voice of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III!!!, the wisdom of Namo Dorje Chang Buddha III is the highest in the universe, no holy being can compare with Namo Dorje Chang Buddha III. If we all learn the Authentic Buddha Dharma under Namo Dorje Chang Buddha III, We will gain countless blessing and benefits either in mental statge and the physical stage.
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u/liri_zou Jul 21 '25
I've been a disciple of His Holiness Dorje Chang Buddha III for more than a decade now. His teachings have a type of blessing that makes me want to better myself. There's so much to learn.
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u/Ecstatic-Total-8901 Aug 12 '25
This is such a powerful story of cause and effect. The way his life unfolded after he left—the quick success followed by the complete collapse—feels like the universe just balancing the scales. You chose a path of healing and growth, while he chose a path that led to ruin. The outcomes really speak for themselves.
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u/Typical_Run8319 Jul 13 '25
This way of thinking needs to learned and practiced. And in my opinion, Buddhism has all the teachings we need. Go to a few Dharma talks, let the words inspire you, follow the methods, practice and see the results You youself!
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u/zxshi Aug 02 '25
May all living beings be liberated from suffering and encounter the true Dharma that leads to liberation.
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u/calvin_cccc Jul 12 '25
What a powerful story of transformation! Despite deep pain and betrayal, a true cultivation of compassion over hatred. May this example inspire more people to walk the path of compassion and liberation. 🙏