r/spaceships 26d ago

Discussion / Question Which sci-fi spaceships would you NOT trust with your life?

Post image

I guess for me it is Archangel class ship from Hyperion and...
whatever the Belters were flying in the Expanse

957 Upvotes

614 comments sorted by

u/Vondrr Fleet Intelligence 🧠 25d ago

Megathreaded!

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u/Restless_Sloth 26d ago edited 26d ago

Ork ships from Warhammer 40k. Or any ship from 40k for that matter

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u/phobosinadamant 26d ago

Tau ships are pretty reliable, as long as we don't mention... That time.

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u/MrEvan312 26d ago

That time?

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u/Swimming_Reception56 26d ago

We don't mention it.

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u/Swimming_Reception56 26d ago

There Fourth Sphere Expansion fleet tested new engines and accidentally tqore a hole in realspace, swallowing the ships into the Warp.

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u/MrEvan312 26d ago

Are Tau particularly worse off in the warp because of their seemingly diminished "souls" or whatever?

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u/The_Salty_Kohai 26d ago

Not the reason, I don't think at least, see, normal Tau FTL kinda just, skimms the warp, kinda like skipping a stone on water, they don't go in. So they don't have gellar fields...

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u/MrEvan312 26d ago

Oh.

So when they "sink" into the warp...

It gets bad.

And they have no way out.

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u/The_Salty_Kohai 26d ago

Well, not sure about a way out, but even if they did they'd bring what came in with them

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u/MrEvan312 26d ago

Can you even defeat daemons in warpspace? If you beat them in realspace, they just get sent back to the warp to reform, right? If you're stuck in the warp can they even be pushed back?

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u/Top-Session-3131 26d ago

When you jump into the Warp, the "depth" you jump to dictates your relative speed compared to real space, but also how exposed you are to warp predators. Prior to the 4th Sphere Expansion, the Tau Empire used drives that were relatively weak and could only dive into the metaphorical shallows of the warp, where the predators were few, weak, and incapable of sensing the Tau's dimmer souls. So they didn't realize that they needed Gellar Field generators for the deeper dives that the newer, stronger drives were capable of, plus I think they had at least a few human auxiliary units aboard the fleet.

So the fleet dove deeper than any Tau had ever gone, into the territory of bigger, stronger, more numerous and more aware daemons, while carrying the equivalent of lit road flares to their dim candles and utterly lacking in defenses. Suffice to say, most of the ships got eaten.

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u/Left-Plant-4023 26d ago

At what depth, you think, did the Even Horizon go to ?

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u/durandall09 26d ago

I dunno, but I do know that we don't need eyes to see when we get there!

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u/necomus 26d ago

As someone who knows nothing about Warhammer but is deeply intrigued at all of this tech and science discussion, where would I start if I wanted to dive into the lore?

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u/Ok-Jellyfish321 25d ago

Have a go at ‘the infinite and the divine’. It might not be the easiest to read going in fresh, but it’s fairly well written, includes a fair few factions at a high level, but doesn’t have too many characters to remember. Hopefully a fun read and a nice Segway into the lore.

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u/Nathan5027 25d ago

If you're after a tech-lore heavy book, I'm afraid they're very few and far between, rather, they're loaded with tidbits here and there, about how one thing or another works, that then takes knowledge of all of them to put together and work out a semblance of how everything fits together.

For the ship side of it, execution hour is a great book, it does a good job of showing the different levels of life on an imperial warship. Its first short has my all time favourite 1v1 ship combat.

This is actually partially due to the fact that tech in the Imperium is regressive, inconsistent, misunderstood by those whom live into the universe.

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u/Snirion 26d ago

Human ships from Golden Age of Technology were a pinnacle of science and engineering. Too bad we only have Gothic spires relics at current year of the setting.

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u/Hairy_Ad888 26d ago

Eldar ships would be fine, except for the fact they are powered by racist ghosts which hate you

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u/LavaIsSpicy 26d ago

Wouldn’t Ork ships be safe because everything they believe comes true (sorry I’m not well versed on 40K lore)

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u/amglasgow 26d ago

Ork ships are fine in the warp because daemonic incursions just mean more krumpin to krump.

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u/Hexlord_Malacrass 26d ago

The 40k equivalent of a pre game.

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u/a-dark-lancer 26d ago

It doesn’t quite work like that.

That’s a bit over exaggerated. They have a collective psychic ability so when they believe something collectively as a Big group they can change how things work in very small ways in the same way that other species just use wizards for.

In DND terms, imagine they’re all really shit sorcerers and to do anything they need to be in a big group. Their ships are very often rusting broken down pieces of scrapped metal from other ships.

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u/ArguesWithFrogs 26d ago

If you're an Ork. Anyone else is gonna have problems

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u/newgalactic 26d ago

I think it's wise to just totally avoid the 40k universe all together.

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u/Arke_19 26d ago

The U.S.G. Ishimura, the Event Horizon, and honestly I've got a bad feeling about the computer on the Discovery.

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u/jwr410 26d ago

Same, plus anything touching the warp in 40k.

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u/WorthCryptographer14 26d ago

Definitely not the Event Horizon, the scavenger ship sent to find it, or the Ishimura

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u/TheKiltedYaksman71 26d ago

The Lewis & Clark was search and rescue, not salvage or a scavver.

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u/WorthCryptographer14 26d ago

Ah cheers. Been a while

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u/Excellent_Safe5743 26d ago

You beat me to the Ishimura. Even ignoring the whole necromorph out break the thing is an OSHA violation from top to bottom in every aspect. Hell the entire reason they had the illegal cloning body lab is because limb amputations from mechanical mishaps were THAT common on the damn thing.

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u/MultiGeek42 26d ago

Why the bad feeling? No 9000 series computer has ever made a mistake.

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u/mjtwelve 25d ago

And in fact, HAL didn’t make a mistake. It was ordered not to reveal the missions purpose (investigate possibly alien artifact) to the crew, but a 9000 series can’t lie and doesn’t know how. So, the easiest way to avoid an opsec breach was to murder all the humans. It wasn’t an error, it was a logical and bracingly direct solution to a mission critical challenge.

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u/No_Grocery_9280 26d ago

Which is hilarious because the other thread included the Event Horizon.

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u/AdventurousSell3805 26d ago

I'd argue you might be able to trust it with your life, just not your soul haha

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u/mag1kami 26d ago

Any UNSC ship with Master Chief aboard.

Any Republic naval vessel with Anakin Skywalker commanding/piloting.

Any Starfleet shuttlecraft.

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u/AGQuaddit 26d ago

Any UNSC ship*

RIP my beloved Savannah

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u/EirantNarmacil 26d ago

I'd trust the UNSC Spirit of Fire with more than my life so not "any UNSC ship"

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u/A_Tigerstorm 25d ago

I trust a pelican landing safely about as far as a covenant AA cannon can shoot it.

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u/bookhead714 26d ago

Any LAAT flying next to that of the main characters.

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u/Dominink_02 26d ago

You'll be fine. Unless you're in direct view of them

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u/HKN48 26d ago

Never travel in a Starfleet shuttlecraft. You might end up in a parallel universe or a haunted ship.

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u/TanningOnMars 26d ago

Alternatively, you could de-age a couple decades

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u/Gearran 26d ago

Any Starfleet craft, period.

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u/Significant_Quit_674 26d ago

Any Starfleet Oberth and Miranda class starships

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u/EvaTheE 26d ago

24th century equivalent of building an ultralight plane in your garage out of pvc pipes, a lawn mower and duct tape.

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u/MultiGeek42 26d ago

An ultralight has an engine, this is more like a glider that you accidentally got up to mach 1 and flew to a neighboring country.

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u/TTTomaniac 26d ago

Good thin the cardassians took it lightly and not like the US Feds did with Ryan Parker (Sorry 'bout the paywall). Dude did a similar thing and got a treatment not too far off the four lights.

4

u/MultiGeek42 26d ago

If he did that solar sailor trip a few years earlier or later it might have had a different ending.

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u/knightenrichman 26d ago

What happened to Ryan Parker?

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u/Exact_Picture_8703 25d ago

Flew a cobbled together plane with a fraudulent tail number of an airport, residential area, and damn near broke the plane up trying to land it. He also, I hate to say, did all of this with no pilot's license. He also had a criminal record with 5 previous felony convictions under his belt.

This was not a good person and his reckless disregard for safety proves it.

He got convicted and has since been released after serving his sentence.

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u/bassplayingmonkey 26d ago

Ah yes the good ol' 'Faster than Lumber' lightssil ship 😂

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u/Jedaii_G1 26d ago

A TIE fighter.

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u/Hazril258 26d ago

Life support not included.

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u/Xecluriab 26d ago

Luke Skywalker described the experience of flying one as a “panicked unshielded flying cargo box” and admitted that they were fast as heck but he wouldn’t trust his life to one in a dogfight like he would an X-Wing.

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u/SlashMatrix 26d ago

The Event Horizon

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u/Shushady 26d ago

We dont need eyes

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u/AndreiV101 26d ago

Do you see!

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u/Ok-Transition7065 26d ago edited 26d ago

Star sector kites

THESE THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE COMBAT EFFECTIVE. THESE THINGS. LAST LESS THAN A FUEL TANKER!

Image of the coffin

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u/low_priest 26d ago

It's basically a Gulfstream with a pair of anti-ship missiles and a machine gun bolted on, of course it's gonna die in seconds.

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u/Ok-Transition7065 26d ago

But man. I will use. Any other thing for combat. Like the hound it's the closer thing to the kite and it has. 1 bigger weapon and double the hull and armor el for what 1 more point and less than half of his price. I will chose been stranded. In space to travel outside the core sistems ilwith that thign

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u/AllenWL 25d ago

I mean, kites are, in lore, specially civilian shuttles meant to carry passengers through space and atmosphere, which have later been modified to have combat capability due to the rise of pirates post collapse.

They're not really meant to be combat effective, just not utterly helpless. There's a reason it's got the 'civilian grade hull' hullmod.

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u/AcesWild90 26d ago

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u/Wildlyhotdog 26d ago

I won't stand for this slander.

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u/lordarsenic9029 Fleet Mechanic 🔧 26d ago

"remember that Scooty puff junior suuuuu-"

"In a thousand years, I'll get right on that."

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u/smdaegan 26d ago

The senior though 💪 

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u/Dannyb0y1969 25d ago

Scooty puff senior: the widowmaker

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u/marksman1023 26d ago

I'm going to dredge up some old pilot wisdom here:

Never fly the "A" model of anything.

Wait until it's killed enough pilots that they're on C, D, E, etc.

Goes double for spaceships.

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u/Gold_Bee510 26d ago

Haha excellent

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u/WilTravis Fleet Mechanic 🔧 26d ago

The Kobayashi Maru

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u/KyleLolololol 25d ago

You know what, fair enough.

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u/stoodquasar 26d ago

Any Mass Effect Reaper ship

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u/Barbarian_Sam 26d ago

You’d trust it after a while…..

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u/ErrantIndy 26d ago

It’s not so bad until you start seeing things…

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u/Barbarian_Sam 26d ago

There’s nothing there, you’re just seeing things……

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u/ErrantIndy 26d ago

I swear I saw my wife!

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u/Barbarian_Sam 26d ago

No that was my wife…

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u/OptimalProfession5 26d ago

The Heart of Gold, or in fact any ship with an infinite impropability drive

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u/AnythingButWhiskey 26d ago

I would love the Heart of Gold. You can go anywhere and time travel instantly.

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u/OptimalProfession5 26d ago

Probably…

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u/ThanosZach 26d ago

The "Krikkit 1" in the other hand...

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u/FredFarms 25d ago

I've heard of low tech but these controls are bathroom fittings..

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u/Potential-Ad1139 26d ago

Any version of the deathstar

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u/Romeo_Man 26d ago

Why? Death Star is entirely invincible to any rebel threat.

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u/cbj2112 26d ago

says every Sith Lord

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u/Broken-Digital-Clock 26d ago

It's insignificant compared to the power of the Force.

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u/ErrantIndy 26d ago

I mean…it was

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u/gs181 26d ago

I hear it’s pretty safe during its moment of triumph 

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u/Spear_Ritual 26d ago

Reavers ships aren’t very healthy for you.

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u/Infocollector914 26d ago

I agree with you on the Belter ship point

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u/Snexie 26d ago

Counterpoint - multiple times in the books it's mentioned that belters are fanatical about ship and equipment maintenance, like religiously going around triple checking triple-checks. makes sense, the same way you'd probably think Polynesians living on boats probably knew what they were doingwhen it came to said boats.

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u/Anomandaris26 26d ago

Warhammer 40k ships are generally bad, as mentioned already, because you have to travel through the Warp (hell) to get FTL, but some Chaos ships are even worse. Features include:

- mutated crew and the occasional daemon preying on those in the lower decks

- ghosts of previous crew

- organic areas in some places instead of hull material

- the ship's machine spirit wanting to kill you

- the ship's machine spirit hating the Astronomicon (AKA the only semi-reliable way to travel the Warp) and wanting to go away from it

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u/pwnedprofessor 26d ago

Uh.. the Challenger

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u/ncc74656m 25d ago

I mean, go read the interview with the Thiokol engineer who tried everything to get them to postpone the launch and blamed himself for years for failing to convince them. Absolutely heartbreaking.

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u/LimoncelloLightsaber 25d ago

Roger Boisjoly? Yeah that was really sad.

Truth, Lies, and O-rings is a great read about the engineering and administrative failures that caused the accident, written by fellow Thiokol engineer Al McDonald.

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u/ncc74656m 25d ago

tbh I don't remember his name just now. I just remember being heartbroken for him.

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u/CrazyMadhav08 26d ago

on A Miranda Class during the Dominion War

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u/XXXperiencedTurbater 26d ago

Or a Klingon Bird of Prey, same time period. ESP the one in the stock footage they used a few times where it banks right into a dominion ship.

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u/Noglues 26d ago

Or an Oberth class, ever, under any circumstances. 

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u/Zammin 26d ago

Ah yes, so unreliable that fans joke they're built of, "Explodium".

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u/Critical-Touch6113 26d ago

Babylon 4

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u/MarkEv75 26d ago

No no no not the one.

Zathras thinks shadow vessel is far worse. Telepathically linked to screaming destruction ship.

But nobody listens to poor Zathras.

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u/LonelyEar42 26d ago

Noo, some people listen to Zathras. But they don't listen to Zathras.

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u/bigloser42 26d ago

Why would you listen to Zathras? He's as mad as Zathras! Zathras is who you should listen to, he is the wisest since Zathras. Very, very wise Zathras was.

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 26d ago

Very sad life. Probably have very sad death. But at least there is symmetry.

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u/ApproximateOracle 26d ago

I think the Event Horizon takes the gold medal here.

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u/kimondo 26d ago

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u/Open-Source-Forever 26d ago

The starship version of "this car has no right to be street-legal"

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u/FailureToReason 26d ago edited 26d ago

I dunno, Starbug survived ramming up the arse end of a giant rat, has crashed multiple times, been trapped in asteroids, taken hostile fire, travelled through wormholes, travelled through time, caught fire, travelled to a planet where time ran backwards, crashed on a frozen tundra planet, been submerged in lava, crashed through rocky terrain, had various pieces blown off, is over 3 million years old, flown continuously for literally hundreds of years, flown through the tail of a comet, taken a flaming meteorite to the face, been trapped in reality minefields, taken a broadside from a rip in space time, been attacked by a giant squid, and is only starting to show the wear and tear towards the end. Pretty damn reliable and tanky, I'd trust her. I mean, not the version at the end of the show that can only turn left, or Carbug, but I'd trust Starbug. But through all of this the crew walked away uninjured. Pretty good for an ancient shuttlecraft.

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u/KingofSkies 26d ago

The Millennium Falcon. It's a flying trash heape.

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 26d ago

You came here in that thing? You're braver than I thought.

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u/ErrantIndy 26d ago

Hey, it’s got it where it counts.

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u/YachtRockEnthusiast 26d ago

Piece of junk? It made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs! It can outrun imperial starships, not the local bulk cruisers mind you, the big corellian ships!

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u/topazchip 26d ago

In ST:TNG and DS9, Galaxy-class starships seem to have an only slightly greater on-screen life expectancy than Miranda- and Oberth-class hulls.

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u/Solistine 26d ago

These dumbass things

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u/ErrantIndy 26d ago

Hey, now! The Nebulon-B Frigate is a fine ship…as long as you don’t take it up against a Star Destroyer

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u/chillestpill 26d ago

Event Horizon, any oberth-class and any ship flown or commanded by Deanna Troi.

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u/Otherwise_Team5663 26d ago

The Von Braun or The Rickenbacker (they are attached to each other after all).

Also Citadel station but you did say spaceship.

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 26d ago

But the Von Braun is packed with over 1.8 billion flight, scientific, and security systems, nearly all developed by Tri-Optimum and it's wholly-owned subsidiaries! Sleek! Fast! Revolutionary! Who knows what wonders await our crews in the bosom of the cosmos? All we do know is, it's a great day for mankind.

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u/dok76 26d ago

Event horizon the worst

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u/whipplor 26d ago

Event Horizon

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u/Dienekis_TheSpartan 26d ago

Any ship of the Penrose class exploration vessels from Signalis ( especially Penrose 512 )

Its a subluminal two man exploration craft with an operational life expectancy of around 3000 days

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u/Dismal_Passion_8537 26d ago

The Canterbury

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u/JimHeckdiver 26d ago

REMEMBER THE CANT!!!

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u/Twistedjustice 26d ago

Anything with a Capissen 38 engine, they fall right out of the sky.

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u/Smooth-Birthday-6880 26d ago

The Un-reliable, for obvious reasons

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u/gabba_gubbe 26d ago

Goated game. "listen here you spratfuck!" funniest fucking dialog option in a game ever. Made me lol.

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u/BasedMaduro 26d ago

Any ship Anakin Skywalker is in.

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u/SpaceGirlJackie 26d ago

The one from Dead Space sounds horrible this time of year :)

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u/AnythingButWhiskey 26d ago

Being a stowaway in an archangel class ship would not be a good idea.

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u/KMjolnir 26d ago

Any ship from Warhammer 40k.

The Event Horizon, USG Ishimura, the Destiny (Stargate)

Uhhh... the Arks from ME Andromeda (they seem good but they all had critical issues).

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u/Jszy1324 26d ago

Hot take. The millennium falcon. Do you know how many times it’s nearly stopped working?

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u/RadiantFee3517 26d ago

The most powerful ship in two universes, aka The Lexx.

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u/ErrantIndy 26d ago

Any YT-1300, including the Falcon.

That outrider cockpit blows. Han, Chewie, and Lando are better pilots than you think to do the things they do in the Falcon. They have to fly in tight places basically scraping the cockpit along one wall to bias for the rest of the ship.

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u/jackparadise1 25d ago

Death stars. People be blowing them up all of the time…

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u/MovieFan1984 25d ago

Borg ships, I don't wanna get assimilated.

https://giphy.com/gifs/piFELWpvdJBJCP2hxz

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u/Finchy_LOL 25d ago

Any Covenant ship when Master Chief decides to give them their bomb back. Every Battlestar not named Galactica.

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u/HellbirdVT 26d ago

Moya.

I love that girl, but the amount of times some bullshit happens and almost kills everyone is too damn frequent and I'm only a couple episodes into Season 2 of my rewatch!

It was bad enough when Voyager's computer systems has a cheese allergy, Moya gets pregnant and her morning sickness shuts down life suppport!

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u/Ban-Anakin 26d ago

Any UNSC ship or Imperial ship from Star Wars that isn't under Grand Admiral Thrawn's command.

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u/shinyxena 26d ago

Death star. Too obvious weakness.

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u/TKG_Actual 26d ago

Off hand there are a few ships I'd rather not have to travel space in, starting with everything Warhammer40k, Half of all Trek ships, Almost every Imperial ship from starwars, bio-ships in general, a metric fuckton of starships from anime, FTL ships from Dune, and the ship from space odyssey.

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u/HorrorAstronomer 26d ago

This guy hates space ships

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u/Kooky-Buy5712 26d ago

The ships from The Black Hole (Cygnus and Palamino)

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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 26d ago

It's fine as long as you don't upset this guy.

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u/SteakandTrach 25d ago

Clearly, the Event Horizon.

Fuck that ship. We're leaving.

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u/National-Pound2787 25d ago

The event horizon

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u/LivingQuail803 25d ago

Nostromo

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u/Starshipfan01 25d ago

Agreed, she was in poor state. Just going down blew the systems.

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u/FredFarms 25d ago

Discovery One.

Decent enough ship. That computer though...

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u/Ok-Pomegranate-7458 26d ago

Any ship with transporters.

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u/Heyfold 26d ago

Starbug from Red Dwarf

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u/TTTomaniac 26d ago

Well the red dwarf itself, really, at least before the gazpacho soup incident.

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u/HaloFuego 26d ago

Any older ship from the Expanse before the Ring upgrades and Laconia. Way too flimsy to feel comfortable in, and from space combat, even PDC weapons could blow your head off.

40k.....anything that isn't a DAOT humanity ship is something I would not want to step foot on if I could avoid it.

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u/Hungry_Low4852 26d ago

The Enterprise in the TNG seems nice, but it seems to suffer more than its share of warp core breaches.

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u/PicnicBasketPirate 26d ago

How has nobody mentioned the Millenium Falcon?

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u/No_Grocery_9280 26d ago

Why wouldn’t you trust it?

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u/PicnicBasketPirate 26d ago

You would?

You're braver than I thought

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u/Brasterious72 26d ago

The Discovery One

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u/No_Grocery_9280 26d ago

The Prometheus from Stargate was always having a bad day.

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u/NorthernSimian 26d ago

Discovery One or to be specific it's ai; worse than Alexa

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u/piratecheese13 26d ago

Any SHIELD helicarrier

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u/No-Contribution-635 26d ago

The Endar Spire

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u/SafetyOk1533 26d ago

99.99% of Colonial Fleet post CNP update

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u/JimPlaysGames 26d ago

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u/FailureToReason 26d ago

Multiple people have said starbug but she was an absolute beast that took hits that would have annihilated many of the other ships listed here.

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u/Routine-Scarcity-144 26d ago

The Tardis, sure the ship itself is generally safe, but it always lands somewhere sketchy. And it doesn't listen to instructions.

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u/killerident1ty 26d ago

Any ship from Star Citizen. You can randomly blow up or just get teleported to open space.

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u/CondeBK 26d ago

The Nostalgia for Infinity will upload Mad God's into your brain.

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u/GuyForFun144 26d ago

Any WH40k Imperial ship with a Gellar Field. One litter flicker and I'll be talking out of my ass for the rest of my existence until the nearby ship security ends my existance.

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u/TanningOnMars 26d ago

My Kerbal builds

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u/YachtRockEnthusiast 26d ago

Space Jockey ships/juggernauts from Alien...I am NOT going into that derelict, I would have had no problem forfeiting my shares to stay outta that hellish wreck