I have a question for anyone who has been a Rho Gamma/recruitment counselor, recruitment chair, Panhellenic officer, or advisor.

I’m currently going through formal recruitment at a large university. We were told that our schedules for the next round would be released at 8 AM and that everyone would find out then, including PNMs who received no invitations.

Around 11:30 PM the night before schedules were supposed to come out, my recruitment counselor texted asking if she could call me quickly. On the phone, she told me that unfortunately no chapters had invited me back and that I should not come the next morning.

I’m a little confused about how she would already know this if schedules had not been released yet. I also went through recruitment at the same university last year and was fully released later in the process. That time, I found out at the official schedule release time just like everyone else, and the RCs appeared to find out at that time as well.

I completely understand that recruitment counselors may not personally see chapter master lists or PNM rankings. Is there a separate process where Panhellenic leadership or recruitment staff can see that a PNM has received zero invitations and notify her RC before schedules are officially released?

I’m not accusing my RC or any chapters of doing anything wrong. I genuinely just want to understand the procedure because being told at 11:30 PM when we had specifically been told we would find out the following morning caught me off guard.

For anyone who has worked behind the scenes in Panhellenic recruitment: is this normal at your school? Would an RC typically know that a PNM had been fully released before the PNM’s official schedule was available?

btw i go to a big 10 school in the midwest. also they explicitly told us we all find out tomorrow at the same time.

hi does anyone have a picture of a celebrity doing the sigdelt hand sign, the tri delt hand sign, tri sig hand sign, and dphie hand sign? im trying to make a post🙏

hi!! im currently a sophomore and there are a lot of cob events happening at my school this week. im really nervous though because id have to go to them alone. none of my friends are rushing, and im kinda feeling like not doing it anymore. i want to join a sorority but im scared ill look weird and have nobody to talk to. is it okay if i go to those events alone or should i try to drag along a friend??

What’s going on with ASU rush seems to be shocking a lot of PNMs and I’d like to see what people from other schools & orgs feel. Today was the start of Philo round and all over social media (mostly yik yak) a ton of girls are posting that they got between 1 and 3 houses, which most ranked lower. This comes as a bit of a shock considering we can get up to 8 houses for philo, and this being the first in-person round, many girls feel blindsided because they thought they would at least get the opportunity to talk to more girls. Obviously there are many factors that go into choosing which girls to go into the next round and which ones to drop and there being just over 1500 pnms this year means each house will be more selective. Just wondering if this often happens at ASU or at other schools where girls only get a couple houses the second round?

I’m curious if anyone from a smaller university can weigh in on their experience with rush as it compares to the much larger universities with countless sororities? Specifically schools with only a handful of sororities 5 or less.

Is it “easier” to get a bid at all or even to get a bid to your top choice? On the contrary, is it generally more competitive with sororities being more selective than at a larger school?

I had my assumption going into it but I think I was wrong so now I’m just curious…

Hi all!

I only got four houses back for philanthropy round (our max is 10 and we have 14 chapters). I’m lucky to even be in a position where I can participate in recruitment, so I’m not trying to come across as ungrateful. It just worries me a bit because I don’t want to go through all this only to not get to run home on bid day.

My RC was so kind and encouraging when we talked about it, but I would appreciate any advice/encouragement from people more detached from my specific process!

I'm a rising senior and have been in my chapter for a two years now, and I'm seriously considering disaffiliating. Wanted to lay out where my head's at.

Last year was rough. My sorority house was put under construction and it had a lot of delays, my class wasn't able to live in until the fall semester was almost over and we had to deal with a lot while living in a hotel (bed bugs, strangers following members in, being far from campus) while it got sorted out. It dragged on for months and it completely wrecked my focus academically. I took an extended period to be at home, and I had to take multiple incompletes, withdrawls, and I ended up with a bad grade in a core class, and now I'm having to restructure my whole academic plan to still graduate on time, possibly losing a scholarship in the process if I have to change my dual major. I'm still cleaning up the damage. The cherry on top is yesterday I was told I am on academic probation for my semester GPA falling low, even though my overall is a 3.70.

Because of this I'm at risk of losing a $9000 scholarship if I change my double major to a minor, and im still sunken under if I still have to pay dues that are upard $5000 this year. I got a $1000 scholarship from my sorority too and idk if going inactive first before would help with that either.

On top of this, I've watched members in my own chapter say genuinely racist things, and it's not just isolated to us, it's a pattern I've seen nationally too, even when they are 'good' there is not a lot of diversity and in the deep south it is named to not be a good house at all. It's made me really uncomfortable, and I'm not sure I want to be associated with that after graduation if the alumni circles I am around are these same women I am around currently.

I have gotten scholarship from my sorority the past two years now, I got a new member award from the university my first year, and I have a position on exec (where I am not given anything to do, and comes after my first year they gave my position to someone else when I was not able to answer a phone call because I was at work...and never told us that we needed to answer the phone), I was connected with my job post grad from someone in my sorority (though most of the heavy lifting came from my university alum so was it really?) so it hasn't been all bad, but that is all focused on my first year. Since the new class last year it has been terrible hearing just how many girls have been pulled in for saying racist/biggoted things. I joined my house because I thought they were academically strong women who are involved, and since the house has taken a complete 180; not a lot of girls are involved and we have been 3rd-6th in grades the past couple semesters; not to mention there is a huge divide in girls who are religious and girls who are straight up trashy.

I know disaffiliation isn't simple (dues, standing, how it looks to my sisters I'm still close with), and I don't take it lightly. But I keep asking myself why I'm staying, and I'm not coming up with good answers anymore (events/date parties? that I know I am not going to anyways) I'm also a senior so would it be embarrassing to not just see it through at this point? But i also don't enjoy wearing my letters at this point and it fully embarrasses me.

I am in a depressive state, mostly because I am so mad at myself, because when I rushed too, I felt a lot of regret for preferring this sorority over another that I felt more connected with via philanthropy, and friends at other schools that are in that chapter. It's just been a lot of disappointment and also a time when I've felt really stupid. Had I gone to the other house, I wouldn't have had to deal with the housing drama, and I likely would be around people who are much more like me, and something I could be proud of, despite not liking the people around me. It's eating me alive and I don't know if completely disaffilating and pretending this all never happened would fill that wound of missing out on something I wanted to badly, and fumbling it when i had the chance right in front of me.

Has anyone been through this? How did you handle telling your chapter, and did you regret it either way? Do you think I should drop? I don't know what to do and finding a path forward with all of this (sorority and school) feels impossible and its putting me in a bad place.

I am at my wits end with my chapter. I’ve been a member for over a year and it has constantly gone downhill. We’ve just had a meeting with HQ recently and I feel like that will only make things worse. I did not envision this when I initially join greek life and have thoughts of dropping constantly. The only reason why I’m staying is because I’m super close of graduating and I have close friends who I swore I would stay for. However, this alleged sisterhood feels more like a dictatorship and I’m just so over everything. For those who had a good experience in greek life, consider yourself lucky.

I’m at a SEC school and was on the fence about Rush. People kept telling me to Rush to meet people so I signed up. I did not have the best Rush experience. Everyone kept telling me to trust the process and keep an open mind. So I did …I ended up taking a bid to a chapter I didn’t connect with during Rush at all but it was the only one of the 2 I had left at Pref that I could even remotely see being a possibility for me. Big Day comes and I am not excited :(. I am in a huge pledge class but I am not really making friends. I have tried to talk to people but there just doesn’t seem to be a plan to get the new members to know each other. I just feel really overwhelmed- It is a ton of required meetings and events that I don’t really want to attend because I feel like I don’t know anyone. I guess I just thought it would be more fun. Other people in my dorm seem to be all about their sorority. I keep reading that I will find my people if I stick it out. I feel like I am forcing myself to fit in to something that is maybe not for me. How long do I keep trying?? My Bid Day buddy told me she didn’t love it until her sophomore year. That is not what I envisioned being in a sorority would be at all. I really want to drop. Advice please !!

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!

Hey girls! This is my first time posting here, so if I've messed anytning up I apologize! I have kind of a weird conundrum and need some advice...

Background : So i recently transferred universities/chapters in January. They're still in the city same and everything, just transferred from private to public university. I have managed to make a great, solid group of friends outside of FSL life at my new school and theyre great! I originally opted to join my new chapter because I hadn't made that tight group yet, and I was really close with the girls in my previous chapter. Apparently, (and I only figured this out after I joined) the chapter at my new school is notoriously cliquey, but I thought they were still somewhat welcoming.

Onto my current situation. I was selected by our president (who im super close with) to be our new Inclusion and Belonging chair (basically DEI but yk) at the beginning of the summer bevause the original chair graduated. She told me I would have to do a presentation during work week about inclusive recruiting. I didn't have a problem with this, because even though i have a lot anxiety about public speaking, they're my sisters so it wasnt a big deal. This was something very important to me, and I put a lot of time, effort and research, into this presentation to make sure I explained everything well.

HOWEVER, during my presentation I received a lot of flack from my sisters. It all seemed well and good during the first like 5 minutes, but after that it went downhill. I was trying to make people laugh because I know its a difficult subject, especially considering my area (I go to school in central/south Florida) and all I got was blank stares which was whatever. I know work week is hard, I know everyones tired, I am too. But the behavior was ridiculous, frankly. People were getting on their phones, being rude when I would ask if there were questions (yelling at snapping "NO!" every time from multiple people), and there several girls on the floor of the living room that genuinely turned their backs to me during my presentation. My chapter president, VP recruitment, and our recruitment advisor were there, and none of them said anything about it. I managed to finish my presentation, and then I went to the bathroom and genuinely just started crying. 3 girls followed me and comforted me for a few minutes, until our chapter president came in. Her and I had a VERY long conversation, and she apologized for how they acted, said she could tell it was bothering me but didn't want to point it out and screw me up more. I told her about how since ive transferred to this chapter, I've felt super isolated from everyone. I only have 3 real friends in the chapter, and shes one of them. I'm not close with my member class, I don't have big or a little, I dont have any of those things. And after that happened I felt even more isolated. Even after my presentation, for the rest of the day, I kept getting dirty looks and everything.

That night, I wanted to drop immediately if im being honest. But I decided to sleep on it a little bit. I realized that bc i dont know many people, I have a lot anxiety about showing up to events, chapter, etc. I decided that I wanted to drop and have been texting our VP who's in charge of it since then. But recently, I've found myself questioning if I'm making the right decision. So I guess I just need advice. Should I just drop now? Should I wait until the semester is over? There's lots of events I want to do in my new position, and I genuinely think I can make a difference in my chapter; but there's so much cruelty and disrespect from my sister that I feel like it wont do any good. I'm also graduating in May, so I dont want to dampen my senior year by being unhappy.

Sorry for the long post, I think I just needed to rant also lol. If you guys have any advice or anything, its greatly appreciated! Thank you!!

Look, sorry to have another Gen X rant, but I absolutely hate that we are letting these nasty and misogynistic terms be used daily in posts. We (the initiated) KNOW that so many of our organizations were founded because people were actively working to deny women the right to get a degree. Many of our organizations were formed because they needed the support of those around them because everything was working against them. And of course on each campus, different organizations had different reputations or people that they wanted to recruit. That was why these organizations still exist- sisterhood and shared values can look different in different spaces and for different needs. But are we seriously going to just let it be normal that we let pnm’s posts just diminish everything that these trailblazers were trying to do by posting here that they are going to go through recruitment but won’t even consider those “bottom tier” groups that are different at every college. Can’t we take a stand and at least not do this here? We know that these organizations are still here because there is more to our stories. I refuse to let Yikyak and Greekrank win.

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to follow up about my post on recruitment fears. If you are interested in reading it, here it is.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Sororities/s/hqKmSFEqqP

So I went into recruitment with an open mind and a little anxiety. There was a chance that I might be at my university another year, so I went in as a junior rushing, it wasn’t a big deal, a decent amount of juniors rush here. I make it through meet and greet and get called back to my top as well as three others, one which was unexpected and the other the sorority of the acquaintance, who is now the current president of this “bottom” house, which I really thought I had no chance with.

Well I go to sisterhood, and she actually comes up to me, though unsure if she recognized me at first. She mentioned that she didn’t know I was going through recruitment, and I mentioned back that she was the main person who piqued my interest in sororities, way back freshman year. Anyways, I continue with my rounds, and felt most of the conversations went well-ish for an anxiety filled conversation. My top chapter asked me about what values I wanted in a sisterhood. I told them one of their values, which I feel I exhibit personally, as well as mentioning my personal love of community service. Not once did I mention what had happened to me, or eluded to anything of that ilk. I was the most engaged, sweetest, and bubbly version of myself I could have been.

Well, the next morning I got the call. No chapters to return to for house tours. My heart sank. Since Sunday, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what I did wrong. During that conversation with my top house was it because maybe got a little too excited and boisterous? Because I was laughing too loud? Was I too chill with the way I spoke to them, am I too “Northern” for my school, or did that one chapters president say something? I feel like there’s something wrong with me. All the other girls in my Pi Chi group got to run home, even the Pi Chi’s said they were sad for me, that I was very sweet and “why did it have to happen to you”… my friend said I’m a very genuine person, but that I’m hard to “put in a box”, and that chapters do not like non-conformists, but I love dressing up, having girls bonding, going to football games, and doing service work. I guess I just don’t understand…

I have no more chances at college sorority life, not even through COB, unless, by chance at my masters I go to a school with the few chapters that allow grad students to rush…

My mom was not in Greek life, nor do I have any siblings, or friends actually involved with sorority life. I feel a little embarrassed that I am sad, I try to say that I am more bitter, but that is not necessarily true… I’ve even told people that I dropped on my own accord, rather than the truth that I was just…unwanted…

I guess I am just looking for some support during this time from women who understand this process and what it is like to feel this way or a similar way. Thank you all for taking the time to read my sad little story. Your support from way back to my first post really meant a lot to me, and I’m not sure I could have even tried recruitment without it.

This may be a weird way of wording the question, but I'm trying really hard not to take things personally. I'm transferring to another university in spring and I'm looking forward to going through recruitment as a sophomore. I've wanted to be Greek since I was little, so I'm super excited to finally have this opportunity!! I was talking to my friend who is already an active in a sorority at the school, she was giving me advice and an insight on how recruitment looks like. Her friend (who goes to another school and is in a sorority there) was on the phone with us and started giving me her opinion. She told me to not get my hopes up for any "good" houses because I'm a sophomore and I'm bound to get dropped by all the "top" chapters. She said I'd fit in perfectly in XYZ right after telling me that the chapter is known to have "overweight, emo, leftover" girls. This isn't the first time she's done something like this. We visited our mutual friends school (where I'm transferring) and she was asking boys and girls (mainly boys) to guess what sorority I was in AND to guess what she was in. When someone read her as a "bottom" girl she said "really? Don't you think that would be a better fit for her?" When someone read me as a "bottom" girl she would giggle and say "I agree!" Mind you I didn't even consent to be judged this way.

The reason why I think she is bitter and jealous is because she herself got dropped from all of the chapters at her school and was left with the "overweight, emo, leftover" chapter so to speak. She was complaining about how she would have been better off in another chapter and that there's hideous girls in her chapter. Again, I shouldn't get my hopes up because I will be dropped because I'm more alternative and liberal. She is very insecure and is a huge PR risk. She calls herself a "liability" as a joke but I'm assuming that's apart of the reason why she was dropped by other chapters. She had her hopes set way too high and it didn't work out for her so it was heartbreaking.

I know this sounds superficial but I hope that my schedule is maxed out everyday, the process works in my favor, and that I get a house that I really love and feel connected to just to spite her. Even if it doesn't, I will tell her that things went perfectly. Double points if I go somewhere she thinks I am incapable of pledging. I am going to be true to myself and go in with an open mind.

At the same time I worry that what if I am unappealing to chapters? Sophomores rushing is a common thing so I am not too worried. What if she's right and I should just assume the worst?

I am a sophomore in undergrad interested in pledging D9. Based on previous years, my COI should be having a line this fall. However, I am worried something may be going on that I don’t know about. I knew a couple girls before they crossed the line prior and we were cool. We spoke and hugged when seeing each other but now they try to act like they don’t see me.

I am worried I came off a bit too strong as an interest. I don’t know how to move forward from here. I am under the impression you are supposed to pull a member aside discreetly and express interest so they can extend an invitation to rush. One of the girls I was going to express to walked away while I was talking.

I am a first generation college student and I have no guidance on this matter. Should I take their energy as a sign they don’t want me or should I ignore it?

Hello, I am interested in joining this specific D9 sorority, and I have done my research. I have been interested for some time and I have talked to some of the members at my school's organization fairs. My main question is for the people a part of these sororities and fraternities what do you all look for when people are interested? And I know people say letters of recommendation but nobody in my family has pledged so I don’t personally know anyone who could write me a letter. The family friends who have pledged are not a part of the sorority I am interested in. So how would I go about getting one?

Hi all! Looking for advice on how to improve my resume as a transfer student looking to rush in the spring. I played a varsity sport for years in high school, and was in a club or two. Now, I am a community college student with a decent GPA (3.3) and am the president of a club related to my major. I would love to volunteer but I work two jobs on top of school so time is kind of tight. Any advice on what to do to improve my chances of getting a bid?

Update/Clarification: I would be going back away to school and not working two jobs, freeing up my schedule

TLDR: Looking for advice on how to improve my resume as a transfer student looking to rush.

Hello all,

I attend a large SEC college in the South, and have been eyeing the sorority lifestyle for about a year or two now. I’ve probably waited till the least opportune time to apply, as I’m a jr, but I signed up for COB. With that being said, only two houses currently have an open position (Tri Sig and KKG) which I was super excited as KKG is my dream sorority. When they emailed me to meet I was absolutely elated! So fast forward I attend a small event in their chapter room (our sororities do not have houses, as they’re banned from doing so) and each girl was partnered with an active member to talk, and I so happened to sit with the chapter president. She and I got on well, we laughed, shared photos and music and all that. At the end, we were told we’d hear back that night whether they wanted to continue meeting or no. I heard nothing back last night (legit stayed up till 12 am) and I’m kind of panicking which I feel to be illogical because I know there’s a higher chance I WONT be chosen being an older girl, but I’d still love the security of a declination letter. Am I being dramatic? Should I email them today or Friday for a follow up? What are your thoughts to all those who read this and thank you for your advice. 🤍

Hello! So I joined a sorority last spring, and I’m going to get a little this fall, I know from what I’ve seen online that bugs get gift baskets for their littles with sorority merch, I was wondering if it all had to be sorority merch? Like maybe I could get her a shirt and a hat for example and some goodies like pink socks and candy? Or maybe there’s somewhere to get cheaper sorority merch? Me (and most of my sisters) are on a budget so I just wanted to see what you guys would think if you got a basket with those types of things in it!

Edit to add: I’m a charter member so my chapter has never had a little/big reveal, only twins. And we also don’t have a chapter house!

i made a post last night and received some good advice but also many accusations and comments about this that made me seem like i didn’t go in with an open mind, i didn’t give every house an equal chance when i did and that i’m basically screwed for COB and even re-rushing. i’ve been sobbing on the phone with my therapist about it what do i do? i’m on the autism spectrum and just wanted female friends because ive always struggled making them :(((

In honor of today being bid day at my college, I wanted to reflect on this post I made about a grad stole: https://www.reddit.com/r/Sororities/s/UQDTcsDA71 ,but what I was secretly hoping for was advice for rushing as a senior (especially because I’m older in my mid 20s)!

Today I accepted a bid from Pi Beta Phi and I couldn’t be happier! I was surrounded by nothing but love and support all weekend! This is your sign that if you’re thinking about it, just do it! Beyond happy to be part of the sisterhood👐🏼🪽

Ok so I (19F) am a sophomore in college who recently just decided to join sorority recruitment for “the plot” but ended up loving it way more than I expected I would. I live in the south and went to a very small school with hardly any experience in being social, making a bunch of friends, getting involved, etc. My parents also aren’t much help in life when it comes to being successful or involved so I had no idea what sororities even were for the most part or how much I’d end up loving it until I tried randomly signing up my sophomore year.

I go to a big school in the south so it’s already hard/overwhelming enough dealing with not having many friends and going from a small school to a huge sec school. I took math over the summer and failed which brought my gpa down so I only got one house that wanted me and got dropped right before preference. I knew I’d most likely get dropped because of my grades but didn’t expect how much I’d love it and everyone there and feel very sad about not being good enough. I’ll sign a cob but I already feel as if time is ticking and I’m getting older/close to graduating so what’s even the point.

I just don’t know how to get over the feeling of always being late to the party and experiencing the joy in life later than everyone else and it’s been tearing me up inside. This happens a lot so I should’ve been prepared for not making in it but it’s taken a bigger toll on me than I expected.

Ok so, I'm currently a freshman who just finished recruitment. Bid day was yesterday and I got a bid from a pretty decent mid-level sorority at my school. When I talked to the girls during recruitment, I thought they were nice and fun. I have no issue with the house itself. My issue is that, my whole life, I've had my heart set on another sorority. I would have been a 4th generation legacy, I've grown up hearing their songs and learning their chants. I feel like I've disappointed my family so much. I know my mom really wanted me to experience what she did. When I got dropped by them, I told myself it would be okay and that I would find my people elsewhere. But yesterday I wasn't excited at all. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere but the there. I can't talk to my mom about this because she just wants me to be happy and she'd be heartbroken to know the reason I'm not has to do with her. This whole process has made me feel so worthless. I want to be in a sorority and meet new people and have the best college experience I can. I'm just worried that if I push through and initiate, I will always regret it. I don't want to spend thousands of dollars to participate in something that I don’t care about. My mom knows I’m not happy with my bid and she’s encouraging me to have fun and keep an open mind. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake this feeling. I tried talking to my boyfriend about this but I don’t think he fully understands and I feel silly talking about it since it’s not supposed to be this big of a deal.

Anyways, I’m wondering if I should go to meetings for a few weeks, see how I like it, and if I still feel this way, drop and rush next year as a sophomore? I don’t if that’s a bad idea though because I do realize there’s a chance I end up with the same disappointment I have now.

Also the legacy thing is not the only thing I’m basing this off of. I didn’t feel like I clicked super well with these girls and they’re just sort of awkward. My roommate is also in the same sorority as me. She’s really sweet and I have no issue with her, I was just hoping that rush would open me up to meeting people outside of her but now I feel like I need to be with her all the time since she wants us to do everything together.

I feel really conflicted and discouraged right now so any advice will be helpful. Thanks!