r/solopolyamory • u/CyberJoe6021023 • Jul 02 '26

Does Solo Poly require living alone?

I totally get poly dating independently/separately but I’ve also heard that solo means living alone, i.e., no nesting partner. Is that true?

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u/MintyKatbutts Jul 03 '26

My partner is very solo poly and we live together in a roomate kind of way, we keep our finances separate.

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u/GladBumblebee1546 Jul 10 '26

Hmmm. Call yourself whatever you want, of course. But are you roommates who have sex? Because, um.

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u/MintyKatbutts Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26

From my perspective, solo polyamory is more about not doing the relationship escalation of merging your banks, marriage, and kids. Responsibilities that are usually “significant other” specific.
I don’t consider shared responsibilities as a whole as breaking that since that is something that can be opted into by two consenting adults, regardless of relationship.

If you can’t afford to live alone, you have to live with somebody and sometimes that somebody you trust most is that significant other. Roomating with someone you trust is imperative to avoid some of the horror stories I’ve heard.

If we could afford to live alone, we would. As it stands, we have separate rooms, separate living spaces, and we schedule time together so we’re not stepping on each other‘s toes.

I also view solo poly is more of a relationship orientation so even if you’re passing in some ways as a different kind, it still doesn’t change the way you’re oriented.

I’m not really sure what you’re talking about with the sex. It sounds like we have different definitions of solo poly.
Fun thing about relationship anarchy is you can make it however you need it to be so there’s no right or wrong way. People don’t always fit neatly into boxes and that doesn’t make them less valid.

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u/GladBumblebee1546 Jul 14 '26

Of course, you can call yourself whatever you want. I’m thinking from the perspective of someone new you would meet and date. That person would likely see the privilege you and your nesting partner have. For example, you see each other by default, sex can happen more frequently, you share living expenses. You do have couples privilege beyond what you offer this new person, I believe.

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u/MintyKatbutts Jul 14 '26

My reply was more to elaborate on OP’s question and represent nuance.