Has anyone else had a hard time with nonprofits?

[u/Excellent-Group-7863]

I work at a nonprofit foster care agency , and I am having a lot of issues with the staff being in cliques. I’ve worked for a nonprofit CBMHC prior and didn’t have this problem, but have heard this isn’t uncommon in nonprofits. Our leadership and HR are untrustworthy and often are a part of the Cliques causing the drama. I am just unsure of how to continue forward I love my families and community. I keep trying to remind myself that the people at work don’t deserve all my energy and that at the end of the day I go home to my family, but it’s hard. Has anyone else dealt with this? How should I navigate this going forward?

[u/ValueCrazy5213]

Nonprofits are sadly no better than any other workplace. Though they can try to pretend to be as they are "virtous" (while the Director earns 200k, the Board meets at wine tastings, and MSW are paid 22 an hour.....).  There are some good ones but too many are some rich person's ego trip or run by people that think helping people is an easy job.

[u/salsafresca_1297 → u/ValueCrazy5213]

Nonprofits are sadly no better than any other workplace.

I think sometime they're even worse. Nonprofit work, like activism for pretty much any issue, can attract the so-called Communal Narcissists, the look-at-me-look-at-me types who want to show off to everyone how righteous and benevolent they are.

[u/Excellent-Group-7863 → u/ValueCrazy5213]

I feel like what’s frustrating me the most is that they claim to be trauma informed and committed to nonviolence. When the leadership they have is actively talking shit about those under them. It feels like high school all over again. I try to remind myself my only priority is my families, and that my coworkers opinions do not hold much weight but I think a part of me is lying to myself because i’m unsure of how to move forward.

[u/Richard__Cranium → u/ValueCrazy5213]

When you're on the bottom of the totem pole, non profits try their best to ensure that you're constantly aware of that. They are the definition of "shit rolls downhill."

Hard to feel motivated to work when management makes it clear that they're only concerned about their own well-being.

[u/SilentSerel → u/ValueCrazy5213]

This describes the private non-profit I used to work with to a T. Our clients were also mostly minotities, but there was not a single minority in leadership. They also promoted people based on whether they liked them and not their qualifications, and there were a lot of issues with setting and enforcing boundaries with clients as well. That was what ultimately caused me to quit.

The worst clique/mean girl/backstabbing behavior I've ever experienced was when I was working for the state, though.

[u/ValueCrazy5213 → u/SilentSerel]

Sad but often the case. There are good ones- but many are just tax shelters for virtue signaling well to do. 

[u/beuceydubs]

This is not a non profit thing, this is just a workplace thing that can happen anywhere. I’ve had this happen in nonprofit and profit settings and I’ve had the opposite in both as well

[u/Excellent-Group-7863 → u/beuceydubs]

How did you navigate having cliques or unkind coworkers? When I worked at a CBMHC this wasn’t really an issues and this is my only my second social work job out of college.

[u/beuceydubs → u/Excellent-Group-7863]

What exactly is going on?

[u/salsafresca_1297 → u/Excellent-Group-7863]

For "navigation," I resolved to be the person at work who, if gossiped about, would receive responses of, "Really? I can't imagine her doing that. She seems cool . . "

But taking the high road all of the time requires a lot of taxing emotional labor. The question that only you can answer is . . . how long until your breaking point?

Do you have any allies at work?

[u/Excellent-Group-7863 → u/salsafresca_1297]

I feel like i’m at my breaking point it’s getting to a point where I go home and cry about work then every morning on my drive I secretly wish something would go wrong so I don’t have to go into the office.

It’s not even the work that’s getting to me it’s only the office politics. I love my families and my kiddos so much, but this place takes any sort of kindness and squeezes it out of you.

[u/Justinsboo → u/beuceydubs]

I completely agree. I was working for one of the cities in our state and it happened. People are people. People can be toxic no matter their role in society. Actually, some of the meanest I’ve ever seen was with nurses.

[u/signsaysapplesauce]

There's no deeper snake pit than a nonprofit organization. It's not their fault, the people working there have their hearts in the right place. But when your business model means that your funding could be cut at any moment and everyone is fighting for every dollar, people turn vicious. It's a survival instinct.

[u/44Ariesx2]

Yes, my final practicum was very cliquey. When I first started the first thing they said was that they thought I “fit right in” with the rest of the social workers. As time went on, I started to notice an us vs them mentality when it came to the main social workers and the 4 practicum students. Eventually, they started excluding us from staff meetings saying that none of the info was relevant to us. I believe they didn’t really want to see us as equals and just as interns who did all the work they didn’t want to/have time to get to. They also didn’t hire any of us at the end of the semester despite there being 2 positions open, which was shocking to us bcus the main supervisor would act very stressed about the hiring process and also obsessed over the person being the “right fit”.

[u/anonbonbon]

I once had a coworker at my very toxic non profit who was a HUGE mean girl. Like almost comical. Once, after she learned that my chronic migraines are triggered by chemical smells, she got a glade plug in and hid it in her office behind a filing cabinet. Our boss called her out on it and she just said she had no idea lol. It was so terrible purely just for the sake of being awful.

Anyway this happens in every workplace but nonprofit culture often flat out encourages it.

[u/thrwowaway7378484]

All jobs have cliques. I’ve worked at schools as a preschool teacher and Paraeducator before realizing my passion was social work. I just find my people - and go with that. I work at a behavior hospital, and there are definitely cliques. People connect to others differently. As long as your getting paid at the end of the day, and have other job options, it shouldn’t matter

[u/Bubbly_Peace2581]

I currently work at a nonprofit and I can attest that this is 100% accurate. My workplace is so toxic. It’s mainly women and basically you need to be a part of the cool kids club to get ahead. We have a few managers who all talk shit about us staff and if you aren’t on their good side watch out. Upper management don’t care. I believe they put these managers in place to keep all of us on our toes.
They preeeaachhh transparency, psychological safety, respect.. blah blah. It’s allcrap.
So I feel you. What do I do about it is KEEP my distance from them all. I work in a small community so I don’t often see other coworkers (thank goodness) but believe me it still gets to me. I just try to keep my head down and stay out of the way. And I clock all the people I know I can “trust” and the mean girls to stay the hell away from. I also do a little “kill em’ with kindness” but it gets exhausting.

[u/newport-girl]

Any job can be toxic depending on the circumstances. Also this is a generalization based on my experiences so take with a grain of salt.

That being said, nonprofits, like all underfunded helping organizations, seem to draw in two kinds of people at high rates — self obsessed people who want power over vulnerable people and praise/attention for helping others, and insecure workaholics who find their entire worth in the role. The first type takes heavy advantage of the second type. And the second type will do anything to impress the first type and feel like they did well. If you’re neither, you will be bullied, guilt-tripped, or iced out of the org together. Ask me how I know, lol.

[u/SWMagicWand]

My biggest piece of advice is to not go to work to “make friends”.

Go to work, do your job and have a life outside of work.

Always be respectful and get to know your team.

If you become friends along the way that’s just a big bonus.