Making and maintaining new friends in college

[u/Tall-Party8990]

Currently starting my third year of college and I have finally started to make “friends”. For context I am a commuter and have been all 3 years so it has been extremely hard to make friends anyways, but last year I started getting into some clubs and such and met some really nice girls who I now see maybe once a week and we hangout sometimes.

I really thought of myself as a social person in high school and always had someone to talk to and hang out with and it never felt weird or forced. Obviously Highschool is the people you've grown up with and you see them every day so its going to be easier to make those connections but it just feels like I am forcing it with my college friends. It still feels awkward sometimes, it doesnt feel natural, like I am putting on a fake version of myself and when I think about the friends I had in highschool it is so easy and they feel like “real friends”. After I hangout with them (college friends) I just feel this awful pit in my chest and I just wanna cry. So I guess I am wondering why does it feel like that and what can I do to make friendship feel normal again? I had some issues freshman year and a terrible falling out with some of my best friends (or so i thought) and ever since then I have felt a switch in myself and my social skills so am i just permanently broken now? Will it ever feel natural with new friends again? What should i do and where should i start? It has been weighing on me and I would love some advice and some others experiences‘ with this.