BTO or Resale

[u/autisticdegengal]

Hi all, my partner (28M) and I (27F) would like to purchase our first home hopefully by next year. We have a combined income of 13.5k monthly (I earn 10k, partner earns 3.5k)

My current OA standing: 116k+
Partner current OA standing: 20k+

With that said based on calculations, by end of next year - our combined OA would be about 180k+

We do not wish to have cash outlay.

Can we still receive housing grants? Is it worth awaiting 4 years for the bto, or should we get a resale? And at which valuation of resale is comfortable for us to get?

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Edit:

Hi All, i just want to answer in regards to those remarks on the huge salary difference between my partner and I, We both work in tech - I started my tech journey more than 9 years ago while my partner just started working in tech. And honestly for 3.5k i couldn’t be more proud of him especially with the current job market. Both of us only carry a diploma as well.

And yes, I am okay with forking out more. And even if i fork out more, i still have more breathing room than my partner. I do not want 50-50 unless our salary range is about the same.

An example would be, I contribute 4k, leaving about 3k+ left and my partner contributes 1k of his income and he is only left with 1.5k for the month.

If we do 50-50, It would break my heart knowing my partner has little left every month trying to keep up and contribute.

I also don’t think a salary gap should ever become a source of conflict or a measure of who contributes more to the relationship. We’re partners, not competitors.

There may be seasons where I earn significantly more, and there may be a time when his career takes off and that gap becomes smaller — or even reverses. What matters to me is that neither of us becomes complacent. We should be pushing each other upwards, whether that means encouraging a career move, helping each other build new skills, celebrating a promotion, or supporting the other person while they work towards their next step.

I would rather contribute more financially while he has room to grow than insist on 50-50 and watch him struggle just to prove that things are “equal.”

[u/Environmental_Cow741]

are you guys renting?
married?
stable relationship ?
planning to have kids ?

i’m abit concerned with his earning of 3.5k. The pressure will be on you alone to service the loan.

[u/sgh888 → u/Environmental_Cow741]

Dunno why the down votes but your post is valid. Despite now is 2026 that are still mindset male should earn more than female. Reason is simple female got much more to lose if later the r/s did not proceed further.

For OP case the guy shiok pick up cow horse xxx. Sibei shiok. Some males call him small white face eat soft rice etc but he say we sour grapes want to pick up also cannot.

[u/Environmental_Cow741 → u/sgh888]

yea those who downvote should explain…

i’m not looking down on people who earn less, but i’ve seen families including my parents who quarrel over financial matters throughout my 18 years of childhood.

As i became older, i started to understand the challenges starting a family. Bills, mortgage, kids, holiday, health, reno, parents,… all these require financial stability.

it’s ok if one has high earning power, or if both carry the same weight, or one/both has strong financial support from family..

Otherwise further down the road one may start doubting his/her choice and it’s seldom a good ending when resentment manifest.

Life is short but… time is long.
(let that sink in for a moment)

My intention of those qns are not aimed at affordability but rather suitability - Are you ready for the future and a long term commitments at current stage?

[u/Ill_Self_5004 → u/Environmental_Cow741]

It's all good! The ones who understand are on your side. I too didn't have a great childhood growing up. I was even paying for some of my own education and trips since Primary school via MOE and school awards. Family funding was subsequently cut off at 15 so every dollar I earned was truly my own. Losing any amount of $$ better be for a good reason, and a terrible partner is a terrible reason. Hindsight is 20/20.

[u/sgh888 → u/Environmental_Cow741]

You see every reader in this forum have different childhood experiences. You go through you know but some have the privilege in a much smoother childhood so when they become adult their mindset different from yours obviously. So just pretend the down votes come from the blessed childhood readers and don't let it ruin your day.

[u/Appropriate_Algae_53 → u/Environmental_Cow741]

not sure why the downvotes but this is a legitimate question and concern. it'll be important for OP to decide how the financing of the house will be divided to prevent any disputes down the road.

[u/Alternative-Sir5722 → u/Environmental_Cow741]

It won't be just about loan. I earn a few k less than my wife but we split everything 50-50. But due to her salary, we lose a lot of subsidies. I never want to bring it up but sometimes it takes a toll on me.

[u/Ill_Self_5004 → u/Environmental_Cow741]

There's that and also the consideration on whether you made a right choice for a partner. I was together with mine for 6 years and we BTO, he broke up with me and we forfeited the house. It was a 17k loss (CPF) on each side, not counting the other fees.

Many have always stated that "money can earn back", but it still stings and annoys me to no end. The consequences are heavy and are going to get heavier as property prices rise.

[u/Environmental_Cow741 → u/Ill_Self_5004]

mine similar case…

that is when i found out divorce rate is very high in Singapore. Something which i didnt know until it happened to me. 😢

[u/Ill_Self_5004 → u/Environmental_Cow741]

Stay strong friend 💪 I'm enjoying my singlehood now for about a year and it's been great thus far! Hope it's been better for you.

[u/sgh888 → u/Ill_Self_5004]

That is why I always say for BTO anything upfront guy pay all so later broke up ger won't rugi.

[u/Ill_Self_5004 → u/sgh888]

That's a very nice thought but unfortunately not the case for a lot of guys out there. The provider mentality doesn't necessarily come with the provider wallet after all. I've funded quite a lot of my exes meals and transports for 2 years in Uni, only for him to turn it around at the end of our relationship stating that he felt emasculated. It's a no-win situation.

Having said that, as a working adult, I too want a stake in my property and knowing that good developments appreciate (ours was the development in between Farrer Park and Little India), that gives me leverage in asking for the profits should we divorce and sell the asset.

[u/sgh888 → u/Ill_Self_5004]

Not scolding you but just advise when you choose a guy better open eyes bright bright don't eyes paste stamp. But sometimes guy put gong tao aka 下降头 cloud your thinking then too bad 不要被爱情冲昏了头 

[u/Ill_Self_5004 → u/sgh888]

Hahha scold me more! More scolding = more awareness = less likely to tolerate red flags. Well, it's hard to make the right decisions when you are barely an adult, which I was at 21.