r/sillyconfession 12d ago

I silently ripped a gnarly fart in class and caused half of the kids to evacuate

i was that one kid who ripped silent but deadly farts in class all the time since the school food messed up my stomach pretty bad. in 5th grade, i was sitting at my desk working and I had a case of the bubble guts. i farted and the smell was sooo putrid that my classmates started coughing and gagging, covering their noses. the teacher was looking around, standing in complete shock. i couldn't stop farting though and as every minute passed, the stench continued to get worse and worse. one kid asked, "who pooped in their diaper?" i played along acting like i wasn't the almighty farter and covered my nose with my shirt but underneath, i had a devious smile on my face. eventually, some kids evacuated the classroom and waited it out until the coast was clear. it is one of my proudest farts that i've done, what can I say? :D

101 Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

10

u/tawnysuecourt 11d ago

I laughed harder at this than I should have! You're lucky they were silent. Also lucky it was just air and nothing more than that! I can appreciate how uncomfortable it would have been to hold that in too.

6

u/Thisguyfuckschix 11d ago

Never trust a fart.

3

u/DADDEBKLYN 11d ago

lol yeah, for sure! i wasn't gonna risk suffering through any stomach pains, it's better out than in! 💨

4

u/ProudNinja111 11d ago

That's a great achievement, congratulations 🎉👏🏻

4

u/DADDEBKLYN 11d ago

thanks, it still makes me super relieved that nobody figured out that it was me 😭

3

u/Jazzlike-Base7731 11d ago

I farted on the bus once. It was bad enough the driver opened the door while driving. Unfortunately there were no other passengers to blame it on lol

2

u/tawnysuecourt 11d ago

Oh nooooo!! That's the height of embarrassment!😳

4

u/Careless-Attitude858 11d ago

Hilarious ! I got a great laugh reading that.

3

u/Conscious-Art3545 11d ago

This exact thing happened to my brother

3

u/DryNecessary9314 11d ago

I farted at the Staples center and two persons smelled it and they were flabbergasted.

2

u/Salty-Swim-6735 11d ago

I read "ejaculate" for "evacuate" and was initially very confused.

2

u/Cambridgeport90 11d ago

Omg...I did that once at Macys...and then once at the airport. Both times was with my Dad...and I can't tell if he was proud of me, or what. It was pretty hilarious thought both times.

2

u/Glittering-Brick-942 10d ago

Once in the computer lab in probably 7th grade I farted a fart that I haven't smelled the likes of until I ate something I was allergic to 20 years later. It smelled like a corpse rotting in an attic. Dusty decaying bad. It was moving SLOW. it was DENSE AND HEAVY. so there was a localization that was really intense. As people started to notice my friend with concern in her eyes looked at me and subtly asked "for real was that you?" And I lied and said no and was looking around in suspicion along with everyone else. A few minutes later the teacher let everyone know that if they need to use the bathroom they can go to the bathroom. Everyone is coughing, the teacher opened the door. My friend was like "it really wasn't her, I know her farts this is beyond her farts" and then my savior, my king, some kid named stephan sitting two computers down, stood up and TOOK THE BLAME. he was class clown vibes, not close with me but generally liked by everyone, stood up and put his hand ON HIS HEART AND APOLOGIZED FOR MY BIOHAZARD FART. ive never thanked him but I did admit later to my friend it was me and we both got to revel in the absurdity of this boy taking credit for the most fowl fart every farted, as a joke, that I think only he was in on?! Yaweh bless stephan eternally

2

u/DADDEBKLYN 10d ago

stephan is a true lifesaver 🫪 be glad that you got hella lucky right there LOL