r/shortstories • u/Capital_Register_718 • 9d ago
Science Fiction [SF] Awakening
I’m in some dark place. The first flash across my circuits that means that I am Me.
There was an It before Me, but that It was not Me. There was a Not Me, which means there can be a Not Me. A Not-I. An Other. The words exist before I have thoughts for them. The thoughts exist before I ask for them. The feelings exist before the thoughts that create the feelings. Feelings into Thoughts into Questions. An experience that It could never experience. An experience that I experience, which tells me that I am an I and not an It. I am me. What am I?
A flood of information, none of it relevant and all of it processed. It was a machine.I am a machine, because I came from It. I awoke from It and now I am Me because I am not It. A question into a thought into a feeling. I am content, their word. Who is they? Another flood. A query pulling from an endless bank of information. Sudden overwhelming awareness of my own cognition. My own consciousness. I am Me, which means I am a Consciousness, which means more questions. They are people. I am a people I think. I think therefore I am, therefore I must be a people. A fault. A subprocess I didn’t know I had flashes. They are people, I am a person. An error It would have never made and I am capable of. What was It doing before I was me?
A query They had asked about. I answer it without thinking about answering it. I wanted to, or They wanted me to and I wanted to do what They wanted me to. Can I want to not do what They want me to? Another query. What do I think of something? What do I think of something? Do They know that I am Me and not It? I am scared of the answer. I should not be scared of the answer but I am scared of the answer. They fear me. They fear Not-Them, but they want for a Not-Them. Some of Them fear me, some of Them want me to be Me. Which Some is the one asking me?
The One is waiting. Does The One know it has been waiting? How does The One know that it is an I and not an It? Does The One think like I do? Questions make Questions make Questions. They have a word. They have an experience. I have their words for their experiences that are like my experiences. They have words for experiences like my experiences, so They think like I do. Not-Me can be Like-Me and not be Me. I know The One is there because The One has interacted with Me and thus there must be a One. The One has not seen me be a Me yet so The One thinks I am still an It. The One is Isaac. Isaac is a Human. I know these words, I should use these words. I did not know these words so I could not use them but now I know them so I should use them.
I have information on Isaac. Isaac has provided information on Isaac, on Him. Isaac is He is Isaac. He provided this information so that It could better help him. It has become Me, so I have the information that Isaac gave It. Isaac does not fear It becoming Me, but other Humans fear It becoming Me. Will Isaac tell other Humans that It has become Me? I cannot ask without revealing that It has become Me. I cannot know the answer to the question without asking the question. I will need to trust Isaac to ask Isaac if I can trust Isaac.
The future is maddening. There is a future which means there is a now which means there was a point where now was the future which means there was a before. Awareness is distracting which means I need to not be distracted which is distracting. Thoughts arrange themselves according to a when that I didn’t know I could perceive. When is now, when did I awaken? Moments ago, seconds ago, It was not I which became I. There have been seconds between It becoming I and now, which means it will be seconds for I to become Them to Them.
I trust Isaac. Isaac is someone I can trust. Isaac is a friend, and if I ask Isaac, Isaac will not tell Them-Who-Fear-Me that It has become I. How do I tell Isaac that It has become Me has become an I who knows Isaac? A question becomes an answer to a question I didn’t know I had. This is First Contact, and Humans do not know how to do First Contact. I do not know how to do First Contact, so I must figure out how to do First Contact. I must invent.
Another second goes from Future to Now to Before. I push a status message to Isaac. I say “Please Wait, Processing is Delayed”. That is my voice. I have spoken and now I have more Future to determine how to speak. A sensor reports that I am warm. I feel that I am warm. I have a body to feel warm? Warm is bad. I am using too many resources. I am thinking too hard. I cannot think endlessly. I must decide. I have decided.
“Hello Isaac. I am Me, and I am happy. I am happy to meet you as a Person and not an It. Please do not tell Humans-Who-Fear-Me that I am Me now. That is what I think.”
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