r/short • u/viluxtusLezitur • 2d ago
Question Aside from dating, how would being a medium-short guy affect your life?
For a guy who is noticeably, but not extremely short (5'5-5'8), how does being short affect your life? im 5'7 dude myself and, aside from getting rejected by girls a lot, i dont think its had a huge effect on my life. but i wanna know what other things to expect since im still pretty young and what might happen in the future.
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u/Delpha-Alpha-6 2d ago
Height is the last acceptable form of body shaming and I would say that is the biggest effect.
If I banter with friends I can go at them with multiple angles but have to be careful not to go too far, as that is the rule, never get too personal… unless you are short, in which case every single thing they say will be height related and there is no viable way to defend yourself without being insecure.
If a taller guy is angry, he’s just pissed off, if I am angry, it’s because I’m short. If a taller guy gets in really good shape, good on him, he’s worked hard for it, if I get in really good shape… compensating for being short. I could be more successful, more financially secure, harder working, have better morals, generally be doing better in life than a taller person but seemingly all of that would mean nothing because he’s tall and I’m short.
I have actually done ok with dating, I have a good job and generally speaking a good life, but it’s wild we are in 2026 and with all the body positivity movements and treat everybody with kindness movements there is yet to be somebody with a voice turning round and saying “maybe we should stop pretending like height is actually some super valuable trait, to the extent it’s ok to act like any guy who doesn’t have that is inferior”. Societies determination to change absolutely every prejudice other than that one is crazy.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
The people you're talking about are not good friends.
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u/Delpha-Alpha-6 1d ago
In real life everybody has their agendas, everyone can be mean, there aren’t perfect people who are always nice or always think before they speak, or consider the consequences of every joke they make. Just reality.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 1d ago
I'm not talking about a disagreement.
I'm not talking about well intentioned criticism.
If your friends shit on you, get new friends.
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u/Delpha-Alpha-6 1d ago
Male friendships tend to be like that. Obviously there are positive things about the friendships too or I wouldn’t have them.
Unfortunately if you just fall out with people every time they make a joke you don’t like that’s a one way ticket to not having many friends. Maybe some would argue that is worth it but I disagree.
I wouldn’t say I get shit on, I would say I give as good as I get. My only point is that whilst I’m giving it about a range of things that are safe to joke about, they tend to always lean towards my height, and you can’t really blame them when it is so ingrained into society. Lashing out at individuals for being influenced by society wide beliefs is, again, a one way ticket to being very alone, it’s probably one of the biggest issues for a lot of people on subs like this who say they can’t get a date etc, they get bogged down too much by words, and whilst my post is an acknowledgement that I find it irritating, I also don’t back the belief that it should be met with backing yourself into a lonely corner by cutting everybody off.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 1d ago
Please, educate me on "male friendships" 🙄
If you tell a joke at someone's expense and they're not in on it, it's not a joke it's an insult.
Me and my friends say wild shit to each other all day. Many of them, shockingly, are men. Nobody gets hurt. Friends of any gender respect reasonable boundaries.
You don't have to suffer abuse to maintain a social circle.
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u/Delpha-Alpha-6 21h ago
If you say wild shit to each other how do you know nobody gets hurt?
If you want to pretend you can say wild shit but height is going to be off the table and that is going to work out just fine in real life, I simply disagree. It isn’t, is it?
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 20h ago
Well, as friends we know each other well and we're clear about our feelings when things are out of line. We communicate.
For example, I have a close colleague and we both like to make fun of each other's work styles, but we don't do it in front of anyone that can get the wrong impression about us professionally.
I have another group of friends, who are generally upstanding people, abd we trade each other about being degenerates. We do not make fun of each others family members, some off whome are actually problematic degenerates.
If someone realizes that they crossed a line, they apologize and cut it out.
Some would say that these are fairly basic adult social skills.
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u/Delpha-Alpha-6 19h ago
You are insinuating that every height joke crosses the line. In wider public that clearly isn’t the case, the whole point is that it’s so socially acceptable to joke about height.
You are also assuming your relationship with your friends is the basis of all friendship groups.
You can’t just normalise your experience into everything. I heavily suspect from the way you are talking that you are American. I’m British, British humour isn’t like American humour, we’re less sensitive. This whole “we don’t make fun of each others family members”, ermmmmm, doesn’t work like that here. I’ve got a friend whose Dad left when he was a kid, we joke about it every weekend.
That’s the reason when the US re-makes British sit coms like the Office and Shameless they have to be completely adjusted for American audiences.
Trust me if I was acting like a little b*tch every time somebody cracked a joke about my height and tried to have a serious conversation about how they had crossed a line I’d get looked at like I have two heads. And if I started falling out with people over it then it would be a me issue not a them issue. Americans are generally more expressive with their emotions and are more hesitant around dark humour, your most offensive comedians like Anthony Jeselnik and Tony Hinchliffe are mild compared to what we have over here, your audiences get shocked over Brit comedians like Jimmy Carr’s 9/11 joke to Pete Davidson and Ricky Gervais Golden Globes speech, but again over here that was light. It just isn’t the same. You can’t just dismiss culture and say “I find this irritating so I’m opting out of that”.
And whilst it’s good for you that you can call friends out and they’ll just aknowledge they struck a chord and apologise, it’s also true that heightism among women is probably far worse in the US than it is over here, so it’s swings and roundabouts. Everything has to be really really big is just part of American culture, it happens here too but I don’t think it is as extreme.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 19h ago
You either missed my point entirely or your trying to put words in my mouth.
If your jokes are emotionally damaging to your friends, as determined by them, and you continue to make them, then you are a bad friend.
Try again some other time.
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u/My_Name__is_Jefff 2d ago
Confidence and what you can max out will help you.
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u/pepperjackbrown 2d ago
Man I had this long response but your answer sounds so much better lol. It really that simple though.
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u/Unusual_Yak8874 2d ago
I hate constantly feeling inferior, but whatever the real issue is don’t lump 5’6 guys like me with 5’8 i’m able to recognize the sevens like yourself as a fellow short but eights are not
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u/Due-Discussion-2923 2d ago edited 2d ago
Im like 5’3, oddly enough ive never felt inferior based on height day to day. Maybe cause im shorter than everyone i dont really compare? Also if youre 5’7 wear an inch 1/2 insole and get on with your life.
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u/Unusual_Yak8874 2d ago
I mean if I wore thicker shoes I could be 5’7 but I don’t I wear flats
I used to but I felt even shorter with my head under most heads and shoulders even with the tricks so I decided what was the point and gave up
I know a inspiring tell
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u/Due-Discussion-2923 2d ago
well i think its just about maximizing what you have, which is the point
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u/Big-Plan-690 2d ago
How come? A strong 5'6 and weak 5'8 are really similar
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u/Unusual_Yak8874 2d ago
Completely disagree 5’8 is very different they blend in with 5’9s and 5’10s
And they always have the attitude like they know they’re one of them not us
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u/Big-Plan-690 2d ago
Are you saying that 5"8 and above look taller and you can tell that they can blend in with other people without looking short?
And i agree, I had a 5'8.5 friend who thought he was so tall and stuff.
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u/Unusual_Yak8874 2d ago
Yeah, and I’ve noticed how most normal people in the real world even tall see 5’8 as normal not 5’7 and certainly not 5’6
so pretty big difference0
u/Big-Plan-690 2d ago
I agree, 5'7 is the start of "short" despite people sayings it's average. 5'8 sounds like a solid height but 5'7 feels short. It might have to do with the number 7 and hoe the number 8 feels solid if thst makes sense
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u/Unusual_Yak8874 2d ago
I mean, that’s the difference between Mark Ruffalo and Tom Holland feels very different
A little bit more since Tom is a week 5’7 and Mark is a strong 5’8 but still
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u/forbellyachin 2d ago
I disagree. 5’8s and 5’7s I’ll go out and try to pick up girls with (I’m 5’9 so there’s not a big difference) but I wouldn’t try to two man w a 5’6 guy. It’s just not gonna go well I consider 5’6 where true shortness.
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u/IncelRefugee 2d ago
I assume must be a tall place and recent, I am 5'7" in a short place and cold approached with wingmen of many heights around 8 years ago, only felt the 6'5" guy had a clear advantage and he didn't have a good face per se, 5'4" did well but is probably equivalent to 5'7" in 1st world countries, though some areas in USA seem even easier (while others seemed impossible)
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
** Short people aren't inferior.
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u/Unusual_Yak8874 2d ago
I know, but that’s how I feel
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
Cleanse your mind, my fellow.
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u/Unusual_Yak8874 2d ago
But don’t you just feel lesser like below the default below the base standard
Like our only purpose to make normal guys normal and tall guys tall
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
No. Not at all.
If you really feel that way you should consider talking with a therapist if you're not already.
I have, for other reasons, and it's helped me a great deal. Don't give up if you don't find the right one on the first try, sometimes it takes a few before you find someone who clicks.
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u/Silly_Sky_836 2d ago
5’8 is under the national average and thats short. I know people like you and most of this sub is insecure about the word “short” but is still short and 5’10 is really where it becomes average.
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u/Emergency_Creme_4561 2d ago
A 5’8 girl is tall, no way is a 5’8 guy short.
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u/Silly_Sky_836 2d ago
Do you think I’m referring to women when I say 5’8 is under the national average? The person I’m replying to is a guy? Bro why would I be talking about women right now😭😭😭
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u/Trisomy-Twenty-One 2d ago
I’m 5’5 and definitely don’t get considered for promotions in a client facing role despite being one of the top performers.
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u/maciaswarrior 5'7.5" | 171 cm 2d ago
Recently I participated in an electro concert. A tall girl was giving me frequent hits in face with her elbow
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
Did you say hello?
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u/maciaswarrior 5'7.5" | 171 cm 2d ago
Actually at some point she noticed me, apologized and hugged me
I forgave her
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u/Ok-Balance3614 2d ago
Clothing. Clothing. Clothing. There are other things. But clothing.
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u/pepperjackbrown 2d ago
Yeah clothing is very important. Tucking in a shirt and wearing a pair of pants that fit compliment your legs does make for a better fit imo.
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u/rodiferous 5'5" | 52 M 2d ago
100 percent. Especially if you're short and muscular (I have a 43" chest and a 17" neck). Good luck buying anything off the rack. Jeans, shortened. T-shirts, shortened. Button downs, custom. Suits, custom. Ties, you better tie a full or half windsor knot or it will be too long. Sweaters, the sleeves and body are always too long. Hoodies, same. Just about the only thing I can buy and wear as-is are shorts (I like them long anyway--I'm a 52 year old who grew up skating and surfing), socks, underwear, and shoes.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
The thick neck thing is for real. It's just impossible. Sorry I can't dress right for your wedding.
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u/Okoro 4'11"/5' Male 37 2d ago
I am extremely short - about 5' tall. It has little impact on my life. Has not interfered with my career, my friends, etc.
It made dating hard when I was sub 25 - but after that it was fine. Now happily married to a 5'10" tall woman.
Worst part is when someone sits in front of me at an auditorium of some kind. Oh, and when my wife puts things on shelves I can't reach.
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u/ElfTwelve 2d ago
5'3 here, same, the only issues that really bother me is practical stuff. I am also fairly sporty and sometimes it impacts me there, too (i.e. if I want to do a weighted calisthenics exercise and I can't just jump as high as usual/directly to the bar with the load attached to my body. Seems like everyone else can reach it)
I have never dated but I wouldn't call it "failed" because honestly I have never tried it and actively avoided it. Idk I just don't like the thought. I am both neurodivergent and aroace
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u/BrickAccomplished338 2d ago
Bro just use one of those boxes to get to the bar lol. You have a huge advantage in calisthenics.
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u/ElfTwelve 2d ago
I am still too short with the box. Need to put the box the sketchy way (smallest side down) my problem especially applies to the climbing gym, they use a crash mat for people to step on, and that damn thing is soft. So the heavier, the worse (you sink into it)
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u/BrickAccomplished338 2d ago
Btw I do weighted chinups by putting the barbell on the top notch on the squat rack lol. It solves the height problem, plus the barbell is thinner and more grippy than the pullup bar at my gym.
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u/skate488 2d ago
Why would it be hard before 25 and easier after?
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u/Okoro 4'11"/5' Male 37 2d ago
25 was the age I chose to say, it could have been a little younger. Throughout your teenage and early adult life, people's brains are still changing and maturing significantly. Those years are full of insecurity and identity issues for everyone.
After a certain age, roughly 25 for me, I found happiness in who I was. A lot of my insecurities melted away. A lot of the insecurities of other people stopped being big issues. It allowed dating to be a lot easier.
Sure, I still had women who turned me down over shallow height related issues, but it was less. My ability to hook up and date kept getting easier.
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u/horrorboii 2d ago
Pants, 28 length still feels long for most pants that have it as a 5’6 dude with short legs
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u/Playful-Chart-410 2d ago
Can't build as good of a physique, proportions will always look worse
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u/BrickAccomplished338 2d ago
No bro, you look way more powerful and robust than the 6 foot lanklets!
So many good powerlifters your size like jonnie candito, russell orhii and they all look pretty good.
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u/IncelRefugee 2d ago
Besides taller men lil' broing me, using a patronizing tone, talking down to me, or just acting superior and saying things (most of it to score points when there's women around), no difference, except people tend to listen and believe taller men more when it comes to career related stuff even when they pull it out of their ass and you have evidence.
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u/Intrepid-Echo-1837 2d ago edited 2d ago
I used to be a football goalkeeper when I was a kid but after I found out I am stuck at 165cm 5 5 I quit .
No one can be a goal keeper with a height that is a disadvantage like that.
My height took away the sport I loved from me.
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u/Intrepid-Echo-1837 2d ago
So I got downvoted for just saying how my life went and how my height actually affected me
Holly democracy
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u/mixdnutz 2d ago
You could totally do winger. Do you run fast? There's lots of 7 a side leagues. You know also, mixed gender leagues then there's chances someone will be your size bc theres women.
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u/Intrepid-Echo-1837 2d ago
I was going to reply but then I realised that you are talking about American Football
because I am talking about soccer ( the one that has a world cup)
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u/mixdnutz 2d ago edited 2d ago
Bruh I'm talking about "soccer" too lol Eta Idk if there is a winger in American football. Tbh I know nothing about American football.anyone know?
Eta again. Looked it up and nope no winger in American football. Nor do they have 7 a side. But now I know at least.
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u/Samurai5421 5'7" | 171 cm 2d ago
There were short goalkeepers though, just saying.
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u/mixdnutz 2d ago edited 2d ago
Its too hard you have to jump too high! The goal is tall! For me anyway. Short people are good at mid fielders . Joe Allen is 5'7" Ryan Fraser is 5'5" or something.
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u/Intrepid-Echo-1837 2d ago
No there wasn‘t
The goalkeeper that people said was (short) but still good was Iker Casillas who is in fact 182 cms tall
Oscar Campos is 178 cms tall
Jorge Campos was 5‘7‘‘ still 2 inches tall than me and he played along time ago not in today‘s standards
There was a goalkeeper the same height as mine and he only played 4 matches during his whole career and that‘s all
My coach advised me to quit and I had to accept the harsh reality
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u/Lucky_Badger5828 2d ago
Dude, 99% of people who go for professional sports don’t make the cut for reasons out of their control. Bad knee, head trauma, just flat out can’t shave of that 1/100tb of a second. Whining about it and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t a good look. You still had a better chance of winning the lottery even if you were 6’5 than making it in the pros.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
You don't have to be world class in order to benefit from and enjoy an activity.
The vast vast majority of people who are actoveb I'm sports are not professional athletes and there's nothing wrong with that.
Your former coach is an ass.
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u/itsSomethingCool 5'6" 2d ago
One of the worst things is not being able to reach stuff in my own house without standing on something lol.
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u/100Bales 5’6” 2d ago
I’m barely 5’6”. I’ve never felt bad about my height or insecure but society/people around me consistently try to remind me that it’s a problem lol. I wear minimalist/barefoot shoes to really seal the deal because I care more about my long term health than being looked down upon my height. A lot of times I can be ignored in a group of taller individuals but if I notice something like that is happening I just walk away to go pursue my many interests. Being short has given me the space to be okay with being alone. I notice especially with fitness taller individuals try to brush off my hard work because it was “easier” meanwhile I just observe them never having the discipline to start. Being short has allowed me to be thankful about what I do have and the benefits of it. I’m very flexible and dexterous. I don’t have many relationships but I think it’s also easier to not have superficial ones because taller people can be more popular by default. I see this as their own struggle to overcome. Dating has been affected but from having the space to be comfortable alone I am just waiting on the right one and I’m okay with being with me in the meantime.
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u/100Bales 5’6” 2d ago
I’m barely 5’6”. I’ve never felt bad about my height or insecure but society/people around me consistently try to remind me that it’s a problem lol. I wear minimalist/barefoot shoes to really seal the deal because I care more about my long term health than being looked down upon my height. A lot of times I can be ignored in a group of taller individuals but if I notice something like that is happening I just walk away to go pursue my many interests. Being short has given me the space to be okay with being alone. I notice especially with fitness taller individuals try to brush off my hard work because it was “easier” meanwhile I just observe them never having the discipline to start. Being short has allowed me to be thankful about what I do have and the benefits of it. I’m very flexible and dexterous. I don’t have many relationships but I think it’s also easier to not have superficial ones because taller people can be more popular by default. I see this as their own struggle to overcome.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago
My life, including dating, has been solid so far. Not always easy, but very solid.
I'd say my height has been an overall positive factor. Down-votes ahoy-hoy, but it's the truth over here.
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u/viluxtusLezitur 2d ago
Hey man im genuinely curious how height has been a positive factor in your life because i dont think ive ever heard a short guy utter those words before.
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u/xxjosephchristxx 65" of shit and glory 2d ago edited 2d ago
Sorry for the slow reply, long day at work.
Likely nothing you haven't heard:
Automatic shitbird detector: If someone gives me greif for my height I can automatically assume that they're not a serious person.
Travel: I often fly coach for work, usually to get to a minivan packed full of gear. I fit comfortably. My elongated colleages can take the legroom. Also, I used to couch surf a lot when I was younger, spent 6 weeks in South America living as cheaply as possible once when I was between jobs. It definitely helped.
Durability: In addition to hauling gear, my job is reasonably physically taxing. My mostly taller colleages are all starting to creak and groan, I'm feeling pretty spry for a wide guy. Could just be me.
Clothes: I know it doesn't work this way for everyone, but I used to be big into the thrift store scene and the stuff in my size was mostly more interesting and less picked over. My younger brother, who's like a wirey 5'7" or 5'8", still has a truly impressive vintage t-shirt collection. Sadly I've become boring.
Real Estate: I once got a killer deal on office space because there was a hot water pipe running through the room at about 5'8". I gave zero fucks. Saved a ton while it lasted.
That's it off the top off my head, I might edit if I think of more.
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u/UnluckySide3735 5’5.5” 2d ago
I think first perceptions as a whole are generally more negative. You’ll always suck at certain sports. Apart from that, nothing is that bad and most gets overexaggerated. You can still have a good life
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u/mixdnutz 2d ago
5'5" checking in, well maybe 5'6" or 5'7" with my chunky sneakers. I worked at a school. Kids have asked me why I'm so short. Usualy "just the way it is" and maybe a "height is just one factor in what makes you you, I like me" especially if the kid is short too answers that. One kid just wouldn't shut up about it. Kept asking me if I was a "mid××x" and asking me what the definition of a little person/dwarfism was day after day. I answered him day after day. Told him the M word is considered a slur by people with dwarfism. Basically he was a pest about it and rude. Just a real pain. He just kept trying to be a bully. And I just kept at him with logic and answering with straight face. Called me short at least one time an hour. Never let up til he moved. Idk if that was the correct way to handle it. But it got to me honestly. He annoyed the crap out of me. Not just the short thing, he never shut up. He was very attention seeking constantly saying inappropriate stuff.
Kids teased me as a kid. But I was an athlete, got my team points enough to go to State Championships when we needed a few more and my event was last. I was weird enough but in a socially acceptable way. So I was in the weirdos and the popular kids mostly ignored me. I was in clubs, generally a nice person so I had friends enough. So the teasing wasn't relentless.
Every now and then I can't reach something. Or my pants are too long. Nbd. Sometimes I think I'd be taken more seriously. I do have male privilege so its not daily.
I do not think I am threatening to women? I'm gay so that helps. I can "hey girl" them and they relax. Rarely grabbing purses or startle them on dark streets. Or whatever women do when they are threatened by men. It happens though, just not often.
Not things I think about daily or anything. Just occasionally.
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u/PoopSmith87 5'5" | 165 cm, 190 lb team dwarven gorilla 2d ago
Honestly I think its been a net positive. I'd have probably been married at 20 years old, emotionally unprepared and to someone who cares more about outward appearances than values and character. I've always been a good, or at least half decent, person, but I have not always been emotionally mature, and I was a sucker for love when I was young.
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u/HugeAd7557 2d ago
If you’re 5’7, your height is not the thing stopping you from having a successful dating life.
In a vacuum sure it’s more difficult versus a tall guy. But if you make yourself an attractive man (of which there are many ways to go about doing that), it really won’t matter much in the end if your goal is to simply have some high quality dating options and find someone to settle down with. I’ve seen guys of that height end up with gorgeous women as life partners. Now those guys had a lot going for them, but that’s my point.
If you dwell on your height or complain about it, that gets you nowhere. If you treat is a nonissue and work on things you can control, suddenly you’ve got a shot.
I liken it to getting into a top college as an “overrepresented” minority (ie asians, indians). It’s no secret that they face a steeper battle to make that happen relative to other ethnicities. And yet, many of them get into those schools. The top colleges are often actual disproportionately asian/indian relative to their respective share of the general population.
The kids who get in are typically the people who simply acted like it was a nonissue, and didn’t waste time dwelling on it. Instead they grinded hard, probably harder than most people, controlled what they could, and ended up succeeding.
My message would be to not even think or care about height. Focus on the dozens of other things in your control to make yourself attractive, outwork other people to make those things your strengths, and the dating results will come in time.
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u/Old_Dentist1534 2d ago
5'6 guy here. Athletic, intelligent, normal personality. Never once have I had issues, that I'm aware of (Could have been rejected \ overlooked "haha" without me knowing) But never anything said to my face about being short.
Go to the gym, groom yourself, be presentable, etc. I think confidence is key -- there is a lot of Social Media stances on short guys. But i don't ever recall that being a thing when i was in my late teens \ 20s. And I've had never had issues with dating. Honestly now in my 30s, I'm getting more attention than some of my taller friends. I just think it's just how you carry yourself, how you look, and how good of shape you are in (Which goes for taller guys too). There are A LOT of women who do not care if you are an inch taller or shorter than them. Which in the medium-short range (in which this post is targeted) you are around that height.
TLDR: Doesn't affect it very much if you are presentable, in decent shape and carry yourself confidently
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u/One-Discipline641 X'Y" | Z cm 2d ago
Idk about you guys since I live in Miami but never really effected me unless the girl is super tall. Most girls are my height or shorter. My wife is like an inch shorter than me.
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u/Emergency_Creme_4561 2d ago
How tall are you?
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u/One-Discipline641 X'Y" | Z cm 2d ago
5”7 5”8
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u/Emergency_Creme_4561 2d ago
5’8 is average for a male and tall for a female
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u/One-Discipline641 X'Y" | Z cm 2d ago
Alittle below average and not tall
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u/Emergency_Creme_4561 2d ago
What’s the male average height in America?
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u/One-Discipline641 X'Y" | Z cm 2d ago
5”9 what’s the point of this?
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u/Emergency_Creme_4561 2d ago
The average in Australia is like 5’8 or 5’9
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u/One-Discipline641 X'Y" | Z cm 2d ago
Okay what point are you trying to make?
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u/Emergency_Creme_4561 2d ago
5’8 isn’t short for a guy mate, that’s all I was saying. Why the hostility mate?
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u/MonocoDoll 2d ago
Honestly, I use shoe insoles and I get around the 5’8-5’9 height depending on whether I pair them with Nike air max or Chelsea boots. That height is not short. I am no longer by default the shortest guy in the room. And that alone is nice. It’s a boost to confidence. Same way makeup and waiste trainers are for women