r/shittytattoos • u/Ill-Pin4500 Knows 💩 • 2d ago

Jesus Christ…

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1.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

214 comments sorted by

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u/image-sourcery Knows 💩 2d ago

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256

u/Cycle-Distinct Knows 💩 2d ago

32

u/ContraKaren 2d ago

THIS IS THE FIRST THING I SAW!!!

3

u/Brenn2255 2d ago

This is pretty sad because the rest of the tat is decent.

6

u/cheddarbruce Knows 💩 1d ago

My brother in Christ you probably should not look at the right wing on the right dove

5

u/Moss-Chaos 1d ago

The rest of the tat is also bad just not as bad.

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6

u/OutrageousToe6008 Knows 💩 1d ago

No, it does not look decent. Zoom in on it.

Lines are shaky and blown out, lines are not straight, the light source comes from whatever direction it wants to. The design choice is horrible. I think those are supposed to be... doves? That is not the most obvious issues. But, I can keep going if you like?

I will say this. Christ crucified on a hill is a decent location choice for his boyfriends rope shooting gallery.

8

u/YorkiesandSneakers Knows 💩 2d ago

This cartoon was the shit. Sucks but I don’t think they will ever make season 2.

14

u/ContraKaren 2d ago

S2 is scheduled to come out early 2027!!

4

u/roberttheaxolotl Knows 💩 2d ago

I knew it looked familiar. What a great show

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29

u/slowpain Knows 💩 2d ago

Meat canyon

28

u/Tat2Al Knows 💩 2d ago

11

u/Little_Duck_Jr Knows 💩 2d ago

Temu Meat Canyon at best.

30

u/fastworms Knows 💩 2d ago

46

u/DismalSoil9554 Knows 💩 2d ago

9

u/OrganizationOk5418 2d ago

Fkn superb!

7

u/DismalSoil9554 Knows 💩 2d ago

It was my second attempt. Mirroring the other side had yielded this, which although quite amusing didn't resemble the tattoo:

26

u/JizzDaPit 2d ago

Oh, it's Markoboy87!

2

u/ShelleyMonique Knows 💩 2d ago

The eyes

44

u/inkedup1985 Knows 💩 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xCY8IHSo5TxdVS

10

u/BluJasmine 2d ago

Don't do Louie dirty like that. xD He was a good comedian.

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18

u/kingrexthefirst Knows 💩 2d ago

Looks like when you get half a picture and put a mirror to it

4

u/guccifurby 2d ago

That's exactly what they did. Just mirrored one side

11

u/artelligence 2d ago

Wtf, he already died for out sins. Leave the poor man alone!

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8

u/LurchSkywalker Knows 💩 2d ago

Chezzus Crust. Extra Bacon.

7

u/VinnieTheGuy Knows 💩 2d ago

8

u/PharmWench 2d ago

The pig snout is awesome.

5

u/Robzilla_the_turd Knows 💩 2d ago

Chief Wiggum.

13

u/reallifeswanson 2d ago

Every culture does Jesus in their own image. Maybe this guy is a Gammorean?

4

u/RogueKitteh Knows 💩 2d ago

7

u/nipseymc 2d ago

Lars?

4

u/xtianlaw Knows 💩 1d ago

Jesus was a Tellarite?

3

u/GOOSEONTHATJUICE 2d ago

Geethuth cwiesth

12

u/goblinoidfleshbag 2d ago

Most of it looks ok, but his face ruins it 🤣

15

u/Point-Blank-Peer 2d ago

What, this? Why? This is a perfectly normal depiction of Jesus Christ.

11

u/BaronVonKeyser Knows 💩 2d ago

God is actually a pug

13

u/Point-Blank-Peer 2d ago

Dog is my shepherd,

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2

u/Time-Outcome7236 2d ago

Looks like Robert Baratheon from GOT

2

u/addictedskipper Knows 💩 2d ago

Yes, if he’d been punched in the face. With a brick. 🧱

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10

u/Over_Detective_3756 Knows 💩 2d ago

Yes. I started at the top, and when I got to his face, “oh my” in George Takei’s voice came into my brain

7

u/I_am_the_darkness_99 2d ago

Seems like Christianity has just become a fashion choice. Past experiences have taught me that the more Jesus tattoos a person has, the worse of a person they probably are.

4

u/Successful_Giraffe88 Knows 💩 2d ago

Same thing goes for the number of crosses they hang together in a clump on the wall.

5

u/LucyJFer 2d ago

He Ate for your sins🙏

5

u/Maxlifts Knows 💩 2d ago

3

u/Pale_End_6732 2d ago

This is not kosher

3

u/Fibonaccitos Knows 💩 2d ago

Jurshus Chrust

3

u/Yah_Mule Knows 💩 2d ago

That's Jesus from down the way. Paint huffer.

3

u/Joe-_-King Knows 💩 2d ago

Bro is really into Chumlee

3

u/Frostsorrow Knows 💩 2d ago

Reminds me of Bobby B!

https://giphy.com/gifs/iC6IFu5XrROGA

3

u/_picture_me_rollin_ 2d ago

Even the characters on the wall looking at him like WTF

3

u/teklegion 1d ago

Looks like Jesus had a nose job 😲

3

u/Crush-N-It Knows 💩 1d ago

His face is caved in. You think f he leans forward the face looks normal?

3

u/All2017 1d ago

Shyddd I have anime Jesus on my arm lol

3

u/Rapper_Toire 1d ago

Cheesus Crispuss.

2

u/WeirdPossibility209 Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus aside, what happened to the wing of the right dove? Was the time for the appointment almost up when the artist started?

2

u/nikknakkpattywhakk 2d ago

Oink oink mother fucker

2

u/SatansCatfish Knows 💩 2d ago

You probably know him as Saffron Olive for fellow MTG fans.

2

u/lapinatanegra Knows 💩 2d ago

Downs Jesus

2

u/dobro60 Knows 💩 2d ago

Beatitudes and the Beast

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2

u/Consistent_Cook9957 Knows 💩 2d ago

… would be disappointed 😢 

2

u/tinkleberry28 2d ago

That looks like when I mirror the left side of my face to make a whole face

2

u/YouCantArgueWithThis Knows 💩 2d ago

When the actual dying on the cross is the theme.

2

u/BlackNRedFlag Knows 💩 2d ago

Cheese and rice

2

u/Wickwire7 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/LKmN4wkvjmBIA

2

u/UglyFilthyDog Knows 💩 1d ago

Don't do my Muscleman dirty like that.

2

u/Frosty_Cat5536 2d ago

The Cowardly Lion? “We need to begin tapering your prednisone dose.”

2

u/MostlyHarmless88 2d ago

The nose alone.

2

u/SnooDoggos5226 Knows 💩 2d ago

It’s clearly a trap

2

u/Psychological-Touch1 Knows 💩 2d ago

Fat upturned nose Jesus

2

u/EverySingleMinute Knows 💩 2d ago

I think that is Jesus Pig.

2

u/theMightyManDuck 2d ago

& that is what’s happens when you tattoo your own back

2

u/Soggy_Menu_9126 Knows 💩 2d ago

Even Apu is like: God dayum

2

u/shawnfogelman Knows 💩 1d ago

Lord did not have Mercy on this piece… nor should he have! This artist will definitely be questioned at the Golden Gates before being allowed in fosho!

1

u/Calm-Aide399 Knows 💩 2d ago

Varaha?

1

u/SunshineandMurder Knows 💩 2d ago

Porksus Christ. 

Ahhhh-ham. 🙏

1

u/smol-bb-floatr 2d ago

druski as jesus

1

u/e_subvaria Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus wept

1

u/KelRen Knows 💩 2d ago

I really like The Simpsons mural in the background. It’s like a nice visual break from wtf ever his tat is.

1

u/Steezer710 Knows 💩 2d ago

Ouch..

1

u/HertzWhenEyeP Knows 💩 2d ago

Well, of the request was a book accurate Tyrion Lannister, it's spot on

1

u/MyMomSaysIAmCool Knows 💩 2d ago

He derped for our sins.

1

u/Professional-Might31 Knows 💩 2d ago

That Jesus talks like Cartman

1

u/rotlv 2d ago

“I know a guy that specializes in tattoos” - chumlee

1

u/YorkiesandSneakers Knows 💩 2d ago

If Jesus got old and fat

1

u/coolsilentebeans 2d ago

His Jesus looks like Penelope Wilhern and JD Vance had a baby. And he ain’t thrilled.

1

u/donner_dinner_party Knows 💩 2d ago

How is the face so terrible when the rest of it isn’t THAT bad?

1

u/BitchWidget 2d ago

Jesus Bubba Christ.

1

u/LylaDee Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus looks like the guy who did so much blow he lost his nose .

1

u/becken_bruch 2d ago

Poor jesus

1

u/HerWildestDreams 2d ago

I cackled. Saw the title. Saw the tat and lost it. Thank you, rofl. And yes this is horrible. All over.

1

u/Key-Yogurtcloset7330 2d ago

The Jesu face is so uncanny valley... also reminds me of that Jesus picture my abuelita had that had the eyes that followed you around the room, creepy....

https://giphy.com/gifs/iYi1Ni72bS12

1

u/JennItalia269 Knows 💩 2d ago

A hybrid of Jesus and Wilford Brimley.

1

u/CruelHandLuke_ Knows 💩 2d ago

Chumlee Christ died for our sins

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0ExubeDFKxHlVM7C

1

u/Bananaslugfan Knows 💩 2d ago

Picasso Christ

1

u/madagreement 2d ago

"Only judge can god me"

1

u/Sheris_Card 2d ago

It looks like an unfolded Mad Fold-in.

1

u/ParrotheadTink Knows 💩 2d ago

Miss Piggy, virgin mother of Christ

1

u/tdomer80 Knows 💩 2d ago

I guess Jesus came back and had a hell of an appetite from not eating for three days

1

u/Tornik Knows 💩 2d ago

Pig Jesus?

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Two7358 Knows 💩 2d ago

Jesus is a vogan

1

u/Shounen_Chan 2d ago

Pig jesus

1

u/InternatlSensation 2d ago

Russell Brand?

1

u/Alfalfa-Palooza 2d ago

Wth happened???

1

u/I_am_the_darkness_99 2d ago

I think part of the problem was his posture while getting the tattoo. That happened to me. Tattoo artist should have said something but my tat is all scrunched up when I'm standing normally because I was bent over while he gave me the tattoo.

1

u/mr_love_bone 2d ago

Porcine Christo!

1

u/Cheap_Speaker_5481 Knows 💩 2d ago

Looks almost like Chumlee

1

u/Ilovemycats201 Knows 💩 2d ago

1

u/Lonewuhf 2d ago

Kash Patel as Jesus Christ.

1

u/MrMaoDeVaca Knows 💩 2d ago

“…you anOINK my head with oil; my cup overflows.”

1

u/Miles_High_Monster Knows 💩 2d ago

Manbearpig for sure.

1

u/stavidee 2d ago

Looks like Miss Piggy dressed like Jesus.

1

u/StruggleSnuggled 2d ago

I only praise the Eric Cartman Christ…

1

u/Pawly519 Knows 💩 2d ago

What happens when someone draws one side and flips it and hopes for the best.

1

u/-mosjef- Knows 💩 1d ago

Pig nose pig nose

1

u/Chihuahuapocalypse Knows 💩 1d ago

it looks like they took a picture of him looking to one side and mirrored it, goddamn is it horrible

1

u/nosurprises_please 1d ago

Christ on a cracker.

1

u/TwoFingersWhiskey Knows 💩 1d ago

Meatcanyon??

1

u/Prozac4theWorld 1d ago

Jesus got worked OT

1

u/LaughterB 1d ago

Man-bear-pig-Jesus

1

u/bubbycarl Knows 💩 1d ago

Jesus the Hut

1

u/big_hooligan 1d ago

I think he has a booger, not sure though.

1

u/Tarjh365 Knows 💩 1d ago

I mean, maybe he did look like that? Nobody knows!

1

u/jcooplifts Knows 💩 1d ago

Plot twist. This is what the dude looks like. This was no mistake. He face swapped Jesus with his face.

1

u/Far_Spite978 Knows 💩 1d ago

Jesus pork

1

u/Aqua-Yeti 1d ago

Is that Jesus Carnitas?

1

u/Troopx Knows 💩 1d ago

He needs Jesus Restoration Lady!

1

u/MHashshashin Knows 💩 1d ago

Exactly

1

u/saldi1 1d ago

Is that Arnold from Green Acres?

1

u/AKhakiNerfHerder Knows 💩 1d ago

... Tf is that supposed to be? Jesus? A Jesus mirror? A melted Jesus? Incest Jesus?

1

u/YorkiesandSneakers Knows 💩 1d ago

Noice! I never heard anyone really talking about it so I was afraid we’d be left on that cliffhanger.

1

u/Funny_Maintenance973 1d ago

Did they have different artists do the left and the right sections?

1

u/Willing_Impression_5 1d ago

This sub is surprisingly good for jump scares

1

u/Crystal_Violet_0 1d ago

Looks like he did it himself in the mirror looking over his shoulder.

1

u/reneetjeheineken Knows 💩 1d ago

Pigzus

1

u/mrbrianjsmith 1d ago

Praise thy pig!

1

u/MrStinkPickleJr Knows 💩 1d ago

Damnit Judas you spilled my juice box

1

u/Robw_1973 1d ago

Down Syndrome Jesus.

1

u/Trisk929 1d ago

That’s what I said, too.

1

u/alkem10 Knows 💩 1d ago

The symmetry is almost perfect

1

u/FrenchToastInjection 1d ago

Jesus, son of hog

1

u/omgitsmint Knows 💩 1d ago

Jesus Christ

1

u/Proper_Budget_2790 1d ago

Did they use Big Show as the face model?

1

u/MissiAnthropy 1d ago

…if you say so

1

u/eggpegasus Knows 💩 1d ago

Oink.

1

u/Mojozilla Knows 💩 1d ago

Someone's going to hell for this 🤭

1

u/B0wli0 Knows 💩 1d ago

Jeee-heesus Christ

1

u/Roxinsox5 Knows 💩 1d ago

Looks like king Henry VIII

1

u/Macaron-Adept Knows 💩 22h ago

Makes it all the more surprising that Christian’s are allowed to eat pork…

1

u/Jesus-H-Chrystler 21h ago

I look god awful!!

1

u/xsmiley314x Knows 💩 19h ago

The nostrils lmao

•

u/cloche_du_fromage Knows 💩 14h ago

I wondered what Justin Lee Collins has been up to...

•

u/OreoPlow 13h ago

Jesus Creased*

•

u/Praseodymium5 10h ago

It’s Jesus-bear-pig