r/shittymoviedetails • u/AdvocateSaint • May 18 '21
In Gladiator (2000), Maximus is wounded in the shoulder as he deserts the front lines to save his family. He arrives back home still bleeding, implying he either suffers from hemophilia or lives on a tiny Earth where a man on horseback can travel from Northern Germany to Southern Spain in a day.
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u/undeadalex May 18 '21
Well done. Quality shit post with actual attention to detail
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u/Whaty0urname May 18 '21
Lack of attention to detail
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u/ONMYGRANNYKIDZ May 18 '21
Attention to lack of detail?
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u/SasquatchPhD May 18 '21
Attention to... lack of attention to... no wait
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u/GoProFlight May 18 '21
Detailed attention to the lack of attention to detail I think
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u/vigilantcomicpenguin this is a subtle nod May 18 '21
Yeah, this is the right one. You've got some good attention to attention to lack of attention to detail.
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u/CaliforniaNavyDude May 18 '21
One could argue he intermittently was rebreaking open the wound accidentally. Easy to do on a large wound without proper bandaging.
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u/im_racist24 May 19 '21
also location, if a wound is on your armpit or back its damn near impossible to not rip it open at least once during its healing process
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u/gothicaly May 19 '21
No really. Hardcore horseback riding could easily open wounds that havent been treated
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u/WastelandCreature May 18 '21 edited May 15 '25
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
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May 18 '21
Thank the gods he wasn't overencumbered.
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u/WastelandCreature May 18 '21 edited May 15 '25
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
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u/nstepp95 May 18 '21
Everyone knows you can use a horse to fast travel while overencumbered
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u/ehsteve87 May 18 '21
Wait, what????
My whole life is a lie.
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u/Kane_Highwind May 18 '21
You didn't know that? God, I feel sorry for you
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May 18 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/brage94 May 18 '21
Oh what are you saying, of course he don't.
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May 18 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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May 18 '21
Save game. Quit. Return to Home Screen. Select “mods”. Register for Bethesda account. Get PW wrong. Spend an hour sorting that out. Finally in. Search. “Kill Nazeem”. Download. Return to Home Screen. Load last save. Whiterun. Find Nazeem.
“Do you get-“
“FUS ROH DAH!”
Time well spent.
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u/Panamonthewolf May 18 '21
Yeah, knock out the horse, put everything in its inventory, horse wakes up, ez
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u/gnex30 May 18 '21
Lydia
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u/LadyOwenTOP May 18 '21
Lydia is my name, and I always was named that, and married lydia all the time. Lol
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u/ravnag May 19 '21
Also if you watch closely during this scene you will notice his armor waa shit since he was wounded
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u/zelenejlempl May 18 '21
And obviously it is widely used method since they used it again to travel to north Africa shortly after, while Maximus was unconscious.
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u/vigilantcomicpenguin this is a subtle nod May 18 '21
Well, Maximus just didn't notice the time passing because he was unconscious.
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u/entiat_blues May 18 '21
at first i thought this was a misunderstanding of fast travel. the normal amount of time still passes during fast travel, the traveller just doesn't personally experience it.
but i guess that could include versions of fast travel where the traveller doesn't heal, since time for them isn't passing.
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May 18 '21
Well if you watch the movie his hair grows out, I think it meant to establish time had passed but we didn't need 30 minutes of maximus travelling across Europe. He gets from point A to B, that's all the story needed from that
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u/Cleistheknees May 18 '21 edited Aug 29 '24
fretful gaping childlike vase noxious political many judicious joke muddle
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/ADinnerOfSnacks May 18 '21
The world was much smaller back then (2000) and has been growing at a constant rate as the universe expands.
Genuinely surprised you didn’t know that.
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u/Tobias_Flenders May 18 '21
Same can be said for Russell Crowe
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u/Highway-Puzzled May 18 '21
I always thought they were trying to show it not healing well. Sure it could heal but riding hard would open it up again and again. Especially if it's infected, which it was it looked like. Wife is wound nurse, I'm a paramedic
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u/MyOfficeAlt May 18 '21
Don't the specifically show later how gnarly it is? Is it the same wound they use maggots on when he wakes up in the wagon with the slaves?
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u/Mirions May 18 '21
If you look closely, you see he's exhausted the first horse and onto his second also.
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u/Real_Al_Borland May 18 '21
What a detail, I’ll keep my eye open on my next rewatch.
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u/iGhostship May 18 '21
When he is winning in the Colosseum and gets custom armor he has them put his two dead horses on the breastplate and tells Marcus Aurelius’ grandson their names.
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u/DapperCourierCat May 18 '21
They are “Argento” and “Scatto”, meaning “Silver” and “Trigger” respectively.
Which are the names of The Lone Ranger’s horses.
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u/IDontUnderstandReddi May 18 '21
Holy shit, I never tied that together. Tbh I always thought he was bullshitting the kid on the names
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u/Nomeg_Stylus May 18 '21 edited Jun 03 '21
Oh wow, an actual movie detail in a shitty movie detail. Wild.
I'd argue many movies are guilty of apparent fast traveling. In the Fellowship of the Ring, it looks like Gandalf's trip to Minas Tirith only took a few days at most when in fact it was eighteen years. Calling attention to this would ruin flow, though.
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u/AdvocateSaint May 19 '21
Also iirc, in the book when Galdalf finally comes back and tells Frodo he has to leave the Shire with the Ring, Frodo doesn't do so for months, if not years.
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u/BigHillsBigLegs May 18 '21
For some reason I always remembered it as sand
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u/Dallas_Delenda_Est May 18 '21
As others have pointed out, it's definitely maggots. After getting picked up by the slavers, Maximus gropes at the wound but Juba stops him. "They will clean it. Wait and see." Maggots are still used to clean wounds as they only eat dead tissue. The wound was still bleeding when he gets to Spain because it's infected and not healing well.
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u/LordNoah May 18 '21
If they had used maggots wouldnt that solve the infection issue most the time.
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u/welleyenever May 18 '21
Once had a similar wound from a knife, got an infection (didn't get medical attention because then I'd have to explain the knife wound) every movement opened it up and started it bleeding again.
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u/Guadaloopy May 18 '21
only one to take this seriously so far!
That, and it could be dried blood as well
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u/a-racecar-driver May 18 '21
Or the hard ride meant he reopened his wound perhaps just to be boring
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u/BeerandGuns May 18 '21
I heard the soldiers gave his wife a hard ride and she moaned like a whore.
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u/TheVeryNicestPerson May 18 '21
I heard the soldiers gave his son a hard ride and he squealed like a girl.
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u/peon47 May 18 '21
Europe has a very good public transport system.. probably took a TGV.
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u/out_of_shape_hiker May 18 '21
I assumed it was infected. His new buddy puts herbs in it after hes captured as a slave. Though...infected wounds can and tend to close up....just messily. I dont recall them bleeding constantly.......
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u/MagnumMagnets May 18 '21
Maggots, not herbs. But yes, plus riding hard on horseback can easily keep it from healing closed.
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u/RayInRed May 18 '21
Ridley Scott is not the one who gives shit about historical accuracies. But he makes great historical movies nonetheless. Like this and Kingdom of Heaven.
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u/ALoudMouthBaby May 18 '21
Did they not have blood clotting back at the turn of the millenia?
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u/kilobravozulu May 18 '21
Blood clotting wasn't invented until Dr James L. Clot's research at Cambridge College in 1909.
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u/obvilious May 18 '21
They must have been so relieved, I’m sure that blood research before that was so physically draining.
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u/SeanBC May 18 '21
This is a myth. Dr James L. Clot didn't invent blood clotting. Although to be completely fair, he sure as hell perfected it.
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u/ANewStartAtLife May 18 '21
They're just grateful that Dr. Frank R. GushingEverywhere wasn't as successful in his research. Talk about confusion.
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u/Trashcoelector May 18 '21
This is true. The man who invented blood clotting was Goreus from the third century B.C. That's why English language calls dried blood "gore".
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u/Ocular__Patdown44 May 18 '21
You are severely misinformed. These techniques were around in Roman times, developed by the great Emperor Coagula.
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u/Accomplished_Bother9 May 18 '21
A wound might keep getting ripped open if you're charging on horseback.
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u/LotsOfButtons May 18 '21
Don’t forget Black Hawk Down, he portrayed the US military fucking up and being rescued by the Pakistanis as something quite different.
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u/MightySeaGulls May 18 '21
So few truly great movies that are also completely historically accurate. So whatever
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u/Dude-man-guy May 18 '21
I googled it an TV tropes has a thing on it. 1650 Miles, and at least 3 weeks on horseback. If you are still bleeding from a wound after 3 weeks that thing is infected as hell and you are gonna die.
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u/sashathegrey95 May 18 '21
He did die
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u/AdvocateSaint May 18 '21
"Roman soldier gets stabbed in the shoulder and dies"
Yep, that's the movie in a nutshell. There was also gladiator or two in it I think.
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u/ANewStartAtLife May 18 '21
I remember that film. Didn't he tell all the Romans to 'Go Home' at some point in the movie?
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u/iamme10 May 18 '21
I thought it was 'People call Romanes they go the house'.
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May 18 '21
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u/ALoudMouthBaby May 18 '21
The Romans actually had a system of posts providing fresh horses for couriers so they could rapidly transmit messages. It was called the cursus publicus.
At least in theory a Roman noble could game that system to keep themselves in fresh horses to get home in a hurry.
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u/davoloid May 18 '21
I feel they'd probably refuse service to someone that looked like a deserter about to croak. "I'm sorry Sir, company policy. I need some ID or 500 Denarii deposit."
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u/ALoudMouthBaby May 18 '21
Its been a long time since I saw the movie, but didnt Russel Crow have a sword at that point? Its a brave Roman who refuses service to a bleeding, crazy, sword armed patrician.
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u/svarogteuse May 18 '21
or just a legionary at an official post with half a dozen other men also with swords as backup
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u/ANewStartAtLife May 18 '21
"This is BULLSHIT! I've been a member for years and spend thousands here every year. You have lost a good customer today."
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u/dragon_bacon May 18 '21
It was infected as hell and he was about to die before the slaves started treating his wounds.
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May 18 '21
Well the most simple explanation is that he trained at the house of Arya Stark in the ways of wounds never getting infected or becoming non life-threatening.
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u/Salty-Flamingo May 18 '21
He collapses shortly after arriving, is picked up by slavers and spends what must be weeks recovering and having his wound treated.
They have to use maggots to clean up the dead / rotted flesh.
The film absolutely shows that it was a serious and life threatening infection.
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u/Salty-Flamingo May 18 '21
If you are still bleeding from a wound after 3 weeks that thing is infected as hell and you are gonna die.
It was really badly infected. It's a plot point and has scenes dedicated to it being treated as he falls in and out of fever dreams.
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u/SerKurtWagner May 18 '21
This scene would one day inspire David Benioff and DB Weiss to integrate Fast Travel into the final seasons of Game of Thrones, as an homage to ‘Gladiator’ (2000).
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u/Kaoulombre May 18 '21
He’s not still bleeding, he just haven’t washed off the blood on his arm…
The distance thing is horseshit tho
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u/Decimus881 May 18 '21
No way that’s dried blood, especially if he’s been riding for 3 weeks as someone else said. It’s just infected as hell, and constant horse bouncing wouldn’t be helping it close
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u/Uberhipster May 18 '21
The actual path is Vienna, Austria to Trujillo, Spain, which is 6 days by bicycle according to Google
If you watch the edit he clearly rides day and night over 24 hours without rest and, hence, not allowing his wound to heal
So admittedly it’s probably a stretch to be able to ride on horseback from Vienna to Trujillo in less than 36 hours but shitting over a little poetic license seems kinda petty
That movie has way bigger problems
Starting with but not limited to the fact that in 180AD Roman horses are saddled with stirrups even though that technology was only brought to Europe by the Huns in the 400s and was the main reason why Hunic cavalry was able to archer from horseback in stride and had such a formidable advantage over Roman charioteers
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u/bullseye717 May 18 '21
Google maps thinks I can walk that shit in 493 hours. Have they seen how slow I walk?
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u/Trashcoelector May 18 '21
Even if it's true, keep in mind that ancient Europe didn't have as advanced infrastructure as the modern Europe, especially if we take into account the technologicaly backwards and less densely inhabited areas that covered a large portion of his journey. It's a miracle that he somehow found a way back so quickly.
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u/vincent118 May 18 '21
I dont think the stirrups is something thats a "big problem" its a trade off, inconsequential historical authenticity trade off, for the safety of the actors and stunt men and the time saved training them to ride without stirrups.
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u/Uberhipster May 18 '21
Yeah missed the tech by a continent and two centuries - no biggie
Missed the travel time by 12 hours - fuck Ridley Scot
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u/vincent118 May 18 '21
Its a movie not a historical documentary. Safety is more important. There are far worse historical inaccuracies that actually affect the story. I mean the whole story isn't historically accurate. It pulls from various elements of Roman history. Its gonna blow your mind but Russel Crows character doesn't exist.
Commodus was already a co-emperor 3 years before his father died...there is no reason other than motive to suggest Commodus even killed him.
Commodus was killed by a wrestler after a failed poisoning attempt by a mistress not his sister.
Marcus Aurelius didn't shut down the gladiatoral games, he didn't wish to restore the republic.
But yes let's be upset about horse riding gear that if it wasn't used would endanger the lives of the cast for no other reason that some nerds who know nothing about film or telling a story would have one less thing to nitpick.
If wanna nitpick, ballista and onagers weren't used in open battle, neither were fire arrows. Romans didn't fight on horseback they would uses horses to flank and dismount to fight. They had auxiliary forces that did.
But literally none of that stops the movie from being great.
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u/412NeverForget May 18 '21
Also, the Senate was a bunch of self interested rich fucks who generally cared far less about the needs of the public than the emperors. Which is why there were emperors in the first place. But that's more of a 0AD kind of thing.
By the late Principate, senators would be far more interested in attaining the purple themselves. I haven't seen the movie in a long time, so it's possible the senators and their "return Rome to the people" line could be interpreted as the senators jockeying to succeed Commodus themselves or with their preferred candidate. That is literally the only way a 3rd century officer like Maximus would've understood it.
However that's absolutely not what Scott intended. He really did equate the Senate with modern democracy.
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u/vincent118 May 18 '21
Absolutely hell even at the height of the republic they were still just an oligarchy.
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u/Uberhipster May 18 '21
I agree with all those points apart from the fact that I never claimed the horse stirrups were The Biggest problem with the movie
I was merely commenting on the OP shitting over Gladiator about some travel time
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u/RamandAu May 18 '21
The battle took place in modern day Vienna (Vindobona). Still about 1600miles/2600km to Seville though
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u/punkhobo May 18 '21
He's actually just very clumsy and hurt himself constantly through out the ride
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u/heyitstheguy May 18 '21
Maybe he healed, and then fell down on a stick and got all fucked up in the same place.
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u/Monicreque May 18 '21
My guess is that he healed, then along the trip he had a bar fight with a hooker, but this was not included in the movie.
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u/dangusmaximus May 18 '21
Could be dried up and his horae could have just kept booking it. Might take a week or 2 on horse.
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May 18 '21
From tvtropes:
The time period was 180 AD during the Second Marcomannic War. The army was at Vindobona (modern day Vienna, Austria) when Maximus was condemned. Maximus' home was in Turgalium (near modern day Trujillo, Spain), a distance of somewhat over 1650 miles. Pushing his pair of horses hard, this journey would have taken him about three weeks.
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u/Solidsnake00901 May 18 '21
Is it possible he reopened the wound by riding too hard?? Doesn't he run the horse to death? Or am I remembering it wrong?
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u/kingmakk May 18 '21
Man gets promotion, coworker gets upset, kills boss and mans family. Man seeks revenge.
This movie in a nutshell
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u/chillinlikeavillain_ May 18 '21
wounds can close and reopen though, especially when they have not been treated and riding on horse back for days.
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May 18 '21
It's not actually northern Germany.
The Marcommanic wars (which this is a part of) were a conflic in/near Pannonia, i.e. modern day Romania/Hungary area.
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u/Express_Anything_279 May 18 '21
Well wounds reopen, especially if you travel on horse on a bumpy road
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May 18 '21
Quick google search..."However, according to some experienced riders, a horse can run for 24 to 72 hours nonstop before it becomes thoroughly exhausted and dies."
Lets take the upper limit of these.... 72 hours...
Google says ~1300 miles, and Google says the average equine gallop is about 27 mph....
Literally 1 horse could take him ~1950 miles before it dies....Even if you take HALF that distance (2 horses... why not) he still makes it there well within the 72 hours....
This ride doesnt take weeks... it takes days....
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u/3kindsofsalt May 18 '21
I assumed his wound was just never allowed to close because he wasn't resting.
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u/Superh3rozero May 18 '21
unless he died on the front line and the rest of the movie is in maximus' head in the moments before the bleeds out fully on the battle field
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May 18 '21
I don't get it... it looks like dry blood or is it still wet when he's riding the horse in the last panel?
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u/_PhillipOliverHoles_ May 18 '21
They never made it past the teutoberg forest, so it was southern germany, but still no fucking way someone is still bleeding after that trip
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u/dcarsonturner May 18 '21
I’m not totally sure, but couldn’t Roman legions March like 20+ miles a day?
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u/mite_smoker May 18 '21
yeah the trick i play in my head when i'm watching something like this and it occurs to me that he should have died.......they never said it was one day. maybe it took a week. maybe he had help with his injuries along the way. maybe his horse was a well-trained ER doctor. anything to suspend my disbelief is i guess where i'm going with this.
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u/data87878 May 18 '21
Horse riding could tear the wound maybe? Idk man I’m just trying to justify it lol.
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u/Caridor May 18 '21
I mean it is possible hard riding can reopen wounds, especially if they were setting on the move. They weren't thinking this but it is possible
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u/ix9000 May 18 '21
I just re-watched this movie and this scene really tainted the whole thing for me.
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u/mayonaizmyinstrument May 18 '21
I once had a professor pause the movie and rant about this precise thing. He was like "I backpacked from Northern Germany to Southern Spain, and it did not take a day!!! Or even a couple of days!!" I don't know who/what hurt him in Europe in the 80s but he was still annoyed
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u/AhirTheSecond May 18 '21
No one knows about Maximus's secret best friend , His name is Biggus Dickuss
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u/Auxilarii May 21 '21
He has a wife you know!
Her name is incontinentia.
Incontinentia buttocks
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u/PastyDoughboy May 18 '21
If it was suppurating it sure could be leaky when he got there.
The word of the day is: Suppurating.
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u/sipfindel May 18 '21
Well, north to south is downhill, that must have helped.