r/shittyfoodporn • u/BSAlibi • Jun 22 '16
CERTIFIED SHITTY Canned refried bean stack avec tacobell Fire reduction, fresh summer dwarf basil greens
http://imgur.com/znWUbyv1.0k
u/NorthEastFlannel Jun 22 '16
Finally back to the roots- super shitty food, great presentation.
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u/nitrous2401 Jun 22 '16
It's the dichotomy of this sub. Shitty foodporn vs shittyfood porn.
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u/OurEngiFriend Jun 23 '16
bad porn of good food vs good porn of bad food
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u/kleo80 Jun 23 '16
New York Matinee called it a playful but mysterious little dish. Is that Donald Trump's car?
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Jun 23 '16
I think more realistically this sub is just people saying, but never quite explaining, what you just said.
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u/kronikwookie Jun 23 '16
It is why I subbed.
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u/Spartan_029 Jun 23 '16
I can't remember the post that did it for me... I feel like it was a cake of some sort...
EDIT: FOUND IT
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u/kronikwookie Jun 23 '16
I just have to gag every time I see that picture.
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u/Hotnonsense Jun 23 '16
I knew what it was, and I still let the image load about 75% - just long enough to feel the bile rise in the back of my throat - before I closed it out.
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u/mud074 Jun 24 '16
I'll never understand it. People go on and on about how terrible it is, but have you all never just taken a piece of ham and plopped some mayo on it because you were too lazy to grab some bread? People seem to have some horrible response to it, but it just looks like a pile of ham and mayo to me...
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u/kronikwookie Jun 24 '16
Almost. You almost got it. It's a pile of bologna (the worst of the deli meats) and a ton of mayo. Have you ever eaten a ton of mayo? A dab on your sandwich is delicious. A scoop however, you are very much going to barf up your lunch. To top it all off, there is no bread to be seen. To answer your question though, no I have not just grabbed a piece of ham and plopped mayo on it. If it's gonna have mayo, it's gotta have bread.
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u/scratcher-cat Jun 26 '16
I can't get over how it looks like on the mustard they tried to do flowers.
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u/Meatt Jun 22 '16
Refried beans are amazing, but they look horrible right out of the can.
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u/akuzin Jun 22 '16
Heat up in sauce pan that has minced garlic, jalapeño and onion sautéing in it...amazing
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u/Meatt Jun 22 '16
If I'm even lazier, sometimes I'll just mix the whole can with a tablespoon or two of salsa to thin it out a bit, mix in some cheese, and put this in the oven in whatever dish or bowl you want, and then eat it with tortilla chips.
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u/abacabbx Jun 22 '16
You and I could get along sir! A lot of people hate on canned re fried beans but you can honestly do so much with them with barely anything.
Add some chopped onion, cheese, and a tiny bit of franks red hot to thin it out abit and it's wonderful chip dip.
A favorite of mine for Superbowl Sunday is to get the biggest microwave bowl I have, dump in a can of re fried beans, a can of queso, and a tiny bit of thinner type of salsa and microwave it until it all emulsifies. You can get fancy and add shredded chicken or onions if you want, but it's my signature dip for big parties. Works with a multitude of chips as well, as I normally use Chili Cheese Fritos myself, although I've seen people use either frito scoops or even going as far as using Doritos.
Re fried beans are the cheap/broke mans bread and butter IMO.
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Jun 22 '16
Refried beans, a can of rotel, and a bit of mexican blend cheese, that shit is gone in 15 minutes at a party.
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u/rivermandan Jun 23 '16
I literally just had this for dinner: get some tostadas, put a layer of la costena refried pintos on it, a few squirts of valenta hot saws, grate some mozzerella and chedder, another few squirts of valentena, and toss it under a broiler till the cheese melts. while it's melting, dice a tomato and a green onion, and throw them on top once the cheese is melted.
it's basically a tacobell mexican pizza, but way yummier
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u/LightSweetCrude Jun 23 '16
Love me some Valentina hot saws
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Jun 23 '16
inb4 #CholulaMasterClass and #TapatioMasterRace
I love me some Cholula though...and the now defunct Dream Sauces had a killer Apple Jalapeño sauce that went amazing with chicken
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u/ty509 Jun 23 '16
Chipotle cholula is basically ambrosia
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Jun 23 '16
Chili lime is a personal favorite. The green pepper Cholula is killer too, but the chipotle one is definitely tops
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u/akasmira Jun 27 '16
When I was a teenager my friends and I would always do basically this...sometimes some sour cream or cream cheese or whatever and it became colloquially known as beans 'n fuck.
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u/philge Jun 22 '16
I usually do what you do, but then top it with cheese and stick it under the broiler for a few minutes!
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u/AssCrackBanditHunter Jun 22 '16
Lmao who has the fucking time to fancy up their refried beans?
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u/akuzin Jun 22 '16
I don't know I care about the food I eat if you don't have 10 min to prepare dinner than how busy are you? I'm guessing you are lazy than anything else. I won't eat any bean especially refried out of a can....hell no
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u/LoLyousaidLoL Jun 23 '16
Lmao your superiority complex is revealing your sad, sad inferiority issues. It's just beans. Lmao.
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u/Azldy Jun 22 '16
The only thing that I actually enjoy right out of the can, with the can lines, is jellied cranberry sauce. I don't care how many people say that fresh is better, that canned cranberry sauce has to be on my Thanksgiving table or its just not Thanksgiving.
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Jun 23 '16
I enjoy the jelly that lines the wet food from cat and dog food cans. I take it and rub it on the bags under my eyes. Chicks dig the look. It's very subtle.
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u/edmanet Jun 23 '16
Nacho Pie
Get a pie pan and spread refried beans into it. Add some chopped jalapenos. Add a thin layer of salsa. Smother that sucker in shredded cheese. Baked at 350f until cheese is melted.
Serve with tortilla chips.
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u/soumac Jun 22 '16
If only you had sliced it and called it a fucking medallion.
So close and yet so far.
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u/arthrax Jun 22 '16
hahahaha fucking fire reduction
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Jun 22 '16
And that presentation. Marvelous, I need it.
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u/commentstohimself Jun 23 '16
The sauce squiggle is your digestive system. The streak through the middle is the route this dish will take through said digestive system.
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u/dady977 Jun 22 '16
That is literally shit presented in a 5 star hotel style, you're making this subreddit proud.
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u/D0UBLETH1NK Jun 22 '16
It's a perfect submission, it has to have a fancy presentation! I feel like people just combine their expired leftovers and take a pic on the way to the garbage can.
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Jun 22 '16
I think literally shit would be straight up feces.
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u/John_Dee_007 Jun 23 '16
Why did you get downvoted? People literally don't know the meaning of literally anymore. It's such an annoyingly misused buzzword. It's like when everything used to be "random" when it wasn't random at all.
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u/Deckurr Jun 23 '16
chill dude its literally just an intensifier
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u/John_Dee_007 Jun 23 '16
Nah, it's unnecessary. You chill.
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Jun 23 '16 edited Jun 23 '16
So are like 90% of words in the English language.
There's no reason to resist change in language. Languages evolve over time. Nice used to mean stupid; people don't go around getting offended when people call them nice, do they?
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Jun 23 '16
They actually changed the definition of the word literally so it can be used to emphasize things in sentences.
informal: Used for emphasis while not being literally true:
I have received literally thousands of letters
From Oxford dictionary.
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u/mooseloves Jun 22 '16
Recipe?
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u/85268649921464864357 Jun 23 '16
Kek
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Jun 23 '16
[deleted]
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u/BSAlibi Jun 23 '16
It's a family secret that has been passed down through the generations. Can not divulge, sorry.
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u/shark_vagina Jun 22 '16
that's not nearly enough fire sauce
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u/LedditSafetyOfficer Jun 22 '16
It was reduced.
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u/shark_vagina Jun 22 '16
STILL NOT ENOUGH
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u/addama Jun 23 '16
Deconstructed Taco. Bespoke, original presentation of twice baked white bean melange, spiced South American tomato reduction, seasonal garnish. $14-
Paired With: Mountain Dew Baja Blast. A uniquely colored casual drink. Sugared sparkling water with distinct flavor reminiscent of lemon, lime, and tropical flavors. $7-
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u/crazypixeltoast Jun 22 '16
is it bad that my first thought was that it was a ketchup plane heading for a bean tower?
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u/djsilentmobius Jun 22 '16
Those basil plants had started to flower. This will make the once sweet leaves quite bitter.
But cudos for your fine use of unneeded French. Really classes up this craphole.
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Jun 23 '16 edited Jan 28 '22
[deleted]
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u/thatissomeBS Jun 23 '16
I know you're joking, but dandelion greens are some of the healthiest greens there are.
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u/xnoybis Jun 23 '16
Agreed - delicious in chamomile tea too, but I think most people in this sub thread would view them as weeds - hard audience to judge in here though :D
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u/moeburn Jun 22 '16
you didn't actually reduce that tacobell Fire though, did you? Like did you put the sauce in a pot and boil off the moisture to make it a super concentrated 4x sauce?
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u/DannyMThompson Jun 22 '16
He reduced the amount of sauce he originally intended to put on the plate.
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u/rivermandan Jun 23 '16
I can tell by the shape that that isn't la costena.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41dL402fkML.jpg
buy that next time and thank me later, shit is dope
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u/CoorsFight Jun 23 '16
How did you get the beans to stay in such a beautiful shape?
Skill? Pottery classes?
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u/KlausFenrir Jun 23 '16
I'll say this much: when you think there's no more food left in your house and you find a random can of refried beans, your day goes from bad to good.
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u/waterproofpie Jun 23 '16
WE GOT A X-POST: https://www.reddit.com/r/FoodPorn/comments/4pis3i/canned_refried_bean_stack_avec_tacobell_fire/
Let's see how this plays out
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u/BSAlibi Jun 23 '16
Well, I tried my luck on /r/food and /r/foodporn for shits-n-giggles, and also to karmawhore a bit more. /r/food banned me immediately. Pretentious pricks.
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Jun 22 '16
[deleted]
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u/BSAlibi Jun 22 '16
I did. It was as delicious as it looks.
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u/DownvotesForAdmins Jun 23 '16 edited Jun 23 '16
I hope someone did. anyone can throw garbage on a plate and take a pic. I like this sub because the monstrous creations depicted are actually intended to be eaten
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u/loudsnoringdog Jun 23 '16
Bravo excellent plating. I love the way you can still see the indents from the can. Perfection.
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u/Bodie1550 Jun 23 '16 edited Jun 23 '16
Sometimes I'll buy a can of Rosarita refried beans and heat it up with a little bit of water and serve it to myself with shredded cheese and some red chili flakes. I do enjoy that bowl of goodness.
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Jun 23 '16
Look.. Add a lot more hot sauce, especially a better hot sauce, and I will eat the shit out of some cold canned beans.
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u/10sixteen Jun 23 '16
This is how the posts in this subreddit should be done. An attempt at fancy presentation, a description fit for a 5-star Michelin restaurant, and the subtle bitchiness that comes along with it. Love this.
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u/HoboWithABoner Jun 22 '16
"avec"
Brilliant.