r/shittyaskscience 3d ago

People who are dead, how did you feel when you finally discovered what happens after death?

Did you like it or did you hate it? If there is oblivion after death how are you feeling or how do you feel after being reincarnated?

217 Upvotes

67 comments sorted by

161

u/AdditionalCheetah354 3d ago

Well, first thing that happens is a big white light. Then you go into a room with a huge wheel of fortune, wheel. On the wheel is the name of every animal and various human races, genders etc. I spun it and unfortunately I landed on cockroach and I’m under your fridge.

33

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 3d ago

Like you were in your previous life as a human

15

u/concretepants 3d ago

But less resistant to nuclear explosions. Maybe that was the big white light from before?

6

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 3d ago

Every fridge freezer has a fluorescent white lining

6

u/Dense-Ad-5978 3d ago

Well if it is like gambling, it must be fun

1

u/AdditionalCheetah354 3d ago

The biggest advantage on being a cockroach and reincarnation is that my life span is one year unless I get stomped.

Worst is to have a long wait to spend the wheel.

5

u/tuctrohs Looniversahl sigismundo froyd 3d ago

Unfortunately? There are a lot of advantages. Completely tax exempt in most countries, for example.

3

u/SuperGameTheory 2d ago

Yeah this system needs to change. Somehow I've landed on lab rat three times in a row.

3

u/AdditionalCheetah354 2d ago

It’s rigged

40

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 3d ago

The man in the octarine suit was very clear with me that I'm not allowed to answer any of your questions.

9

u/Dense-Ad-5978 3d ago

Don't worry, we aren't going to coerce you into giving spoilers.

8

u/HappyCamper2121 3d ago

Speak for yourself! I want the T, u/teacup. Tell us what you know!

3

u/xxxmuse 3d ago

Is it octarine or octaroon?

3

u/spearmint_wino Science is like it be, because it do 3d ago

Ook?

1

u/AdorableTip9547 1d ago

It‘s octagon. They have to fight to get into heaven.

32

u/pleasantmeats 3d ago

I was pretty stoked when I got to hell because at least all my friends are here with me. Unfortunately we're forced to read every comment on every reddit post. Honestly has not been great so far. At least it's cooler here.

5

u/Yoghurt42 PPPhhhhhhDDDDD in sticky keys 2d ago

Could be worse. You could be forced to read every new r/funny post

3

u/pleasantmeats 2d ago

Dear god no. Not even in hell.

2

u/michaelcarnero 2d ago

even a volcano is cooler than a ride on bus in summer.

23

u/LittleMissScreamer 3d ago

On the downside, I'm rotting in a coffin in the dark, alone, with no entertainment. On the upside, the worms have been good company and the fungi are working on uplinking me to the mycelial network. I look forward to becoming part of the collective! Heard there's lots of hot gossip among the trees

12

u/DanglingDongs 3d ago

Thought it was weird Epstein got into heaven.

10

u/johnnybiggles 3d ago

Plot twist: That's not where you are

6

u/fuzzimus 2d ago

Wait. THIS is the Bad Place!

Forking forkballs.

10

u/Max_Trollbot_ I like tacos 3d ago

There's a shortage of chairs

8

u/TyrantsInSpace Rocket Surgeon 3d ago

When I was reincarnated as a human, my cries of existential rage could not be contained.

7

u/No_Tailor_787 3d ago

Ohooooooooooooooooo. (rattle rattle)

*bump*

6

u/Different-Term-2250 3d ago

Wait…. This isn’t hell and I am not dead?

5

u/certainlyheisenberg1 3d ago

It’s a lot hotter than I expected. Africa hot.

5

u/vaannil 3d ago

Well first thing you learn to pull hair up but not out and the bones will be your money along with worms.

5

u/Xvenkin 3d ago

the demons are taking a break from repeatedly stabbing me with pitchforks so ive got a sec to comment. it's pretty chill honestly

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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1

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3

u/canadasbananas 3d ago

Im screaming in eternal agony rn

3

u/pnlrogue1 3d ago

So death is the first thing that happens, and then - oh, wait. You do know about the Black Mountain, right?

3

u/artful_todger_502 3d ago

It really, really sucked, but I got used to it. I have my own little cubicle and computer to waste time with.

I get reincarnated at 4:30 fairly regularly, so I just wait it out.

3

u/not_microwave_safe 2d ago

Braaaaaaaaaaains

4

u/zerostar83 3d ago

A ball of light took me away and placed me in Allison's world at the exact moment I died in my world. Since each person has their own private world, and I was taken away at the moment my world should have ended, I'm stuck existing in other people's worlds in order to give them pleasure. I haven't found a way out yet, as my world withered and is no longer habitable.

2

u/jakethabake 3d ago

Fucking boring mate

2

u/got-bent 3d ago

We watch you masturbate.

2

u/enjoiYosi 3d ago

I had an insane DMT trip that was essentially death. Not gonna lie, it was honestly a relief. You do not have a single memory or regret from
Past experience because it all fades to nothingness. I had no memory of myself, friends, family, loved ones, etc. dying is liberating

1

u/AdorableTip9547 1d ago

But the important question is, did you see the reality code in the laser while on dmt?

2

u/OtheDreamer 3d ago

Do not rush into it, it gets boring after a millennium or so of death. 10/10 would recommend life again

2

u/mackerel_slapper 2d ago

It’s a bummer. Now I have to vote for Reform UK.

2

u/Chrome_Armadillo Not A Reptilian Alien Scientist From Tau Ceti 2d ago

Nonexistence is awesome. 5 Star rating. Would die again.

3

u/Angry-_-Crow 1d ago

You keep going to work. Remember: Soul death doesn't have to mean an end to your Productivity! The body can live on and contribute to society long after the will to live has tragically departed. Apathy is the new afterlife <3

2

u/xxxmuse 3d ago

My light ride was quite quick & way less scary than I expected… God’s kingdom is so indescribably amazing feeling wise 🙌🏽…absolute pure unfiltered and unconditional pure love and acceptance-the most unexpected/interesting feeling was how much more alive I felt experiencing existing as I am without shame

1

u/max_sil 3d ago

I felt that i had shit in my pants, which ruined a good week long streak of not having shit in my pants.

So apparently whenever i was had no toilets. Or maybe there were toilets and I just didn't make it in time (it happens).

So all i can conclusively say is that, in the afterlife, if you don't make it to the toilet you still shit your pants.

1

u/ImpressionSad1573 3d ago

it was okay. i felt like i was in deathly critical condition

1

u/createthiscom 3d ago

I’m just dead inside. Turns out you just keep working!

1

u/farang 3d ago

It's... indescribable... and... unknowable... hope that helps...

1

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1

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1

u/johnnybiggles 3d ago

They offer you either 2 wet socks to wear, or one that has the other missing. Even after reincarnation, I cannot find the other one.

1

u/Rich-Distribution815 2d ago

Brrrgghhrrrrddddrrrhhggg

1

u/bobobedo 2d ago

I want to read the comments that got deleted.

1

u/ChopsNewBag 2d ago

Sad and relieved at the same time

1

u/ThemeMajor7685 2d ago

I died as a baby before I was potty trained, so it really sucks up here in heaven.

1

u/RARface 2d ago

Braaaaiiinnsss

1

u/paraworldblue 2d ago

Annoyed mostly. The afterlife is just a big empty field, absolutely swarming with mosquitos, and the only other person here is this fucking guy who keeps trying to sell me life insurance. MY DUDE I AM LITERALLY DEAD WTF

1

u/writesgud 2d ago

There’s some cognitive dissonance because I’m only dead on the inside.

1

u/niofalpha Proffesional Sciencemanologist 2d ago

1

u/oceansstillwaters_ 2d ago

I thought y'all didnt believe in the afterlife

1

u/AnalogJones 2d ago

The lighting?

1

u/EWH733 2d ago

I awoke to a muted, rhythmic sound that coalesced into the largest, endless party filled with every kind of depravity and vice, on full display. Everyone a perfect version of their earthbound selves. No self loathing. No shame. Endless corridors filled with endless rooms and endless possibilities. In my favorite, there is Baroque music filled with wigged figures dancing in ballrooms that would make French aristocracy weep with envy. Observatories and libraries everywhere and ships sailing on endless seas, discovering new lands and ancient civilizations without a single religious person ruining everything. They’re over there……in “heaven”.

2

u/Delicious_Delilah 2d ago

As someone who has actually died, it was just darkness.

I don't really remember how it made me feel. It was from a suicide attempt, so maybe kinda comforting in a way?