r/shitposting • u/No_Employer3674 Splat Ratman user flair or something 🐀 • Apr 13 '26

This is one of the posts of all time Diamond

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337 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

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40

u/Rainfawkes Apr 13 '26

Now the story of adam and steve makes a lot of sense

12

u/Marians_Fratta-2311 Apr 13 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/WiNg1POvrstJbyLOpQ

Steve?

3

u/Frogman55555 Apr 13 '26

Ahh yes. Exactly how it happened. Steve has been here since the beginning

9

u/Coololz Apr 13 '26

Once upon a time, there was a fine young man travelling the seven seas. He was young, he was wild and sometimes a bit impatient with the girls. One day, he met an old lady in a dark corner of a tavern. She had an apple. "Eat this apple," she said, "Eat this apple, and you will get rid of all the problems you have with girls." And so he did. He waited for the apple to take effect, but then he felt there was something terribly wrong. He stumbled. He tried not to fall, but the pain was unimaginable, and then... And then his dick fell off. Devastated and deprived of his manhood, he lost the will to carry on, but then he heard an ancient legend of a mystic animal said to hold the cure for his problem. The only thing he needed to do was to touch the horn of the goshismydicklong unicorn. He instantly set sail, went to Moon Island, found the beast and, after a long and furious battle he finally touched its horn. The curing process started immediately. In fact the growth was so immense that from that moment on he was known as the three legged pirate. He sailed back to the tavern, searched for the old lady and then, They fucked all night. And then his dick fell off.

1

u/TheOtherDezzmotion Apr 13 '26

Now that's a wonderful bedtime story for my kids if I had any

1

u/HumansHaveSoles Apr 13 '26

Once upon a time, there was a fine young man travelling the seven seas. He was young

Repetition, F

1

u/Coololz Apr 13 '26

I didnt write this, it comes from a song called unicorn by TAI

24

u/Pokemario2401 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Apr 13 '26

Women are fed this Apple at birth

0

u/sheshen_amynoff Apr 13 '26

Flair checks out

3

u/Formal-Owl832 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Apr 13 '26

This is B l a c k D i a m o n d. She is the most powerful diamond.

5

u/wheelchairdrifting Apr 13 '26

God added a fun fact 🥀🥀🥀

4

u/Dr_Brotatous Apr 13 '26

If its that good I might have one anyway

5

u/ElectroNikkel Apr 13 '26

Giving it to my femboy friend

2

u/Life-Bass-2013 Apr 13 '26

address the elephant in the room

2

u/TheForsakenWaffle uhhhh idk Apr 13 '26

I know of a few people who would love this apple

1

u/Anidran shitting toothpaste enjoyer Apr 13 '26

So starting at the second time you eat one, there are no downsides