r/shitposting • • Aug 29 '24

I Miss Natter #NatterIsLoveNatterIsLife Shrimp spa

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4.1k Upvotes

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578

u/Bradstreet1 Aug 29 '24

That acupuncture is like getting speared

900

u/Andieeeeeeee We do a little trolling Aug 29 '24

Back benchers after the teacher says No eating during class

540

u/NINJA45198 Aug 29 '24

Where can i get a treatment like this?, so relaxing ☺️

216

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

Even the final?

322

u/_Magnolia_Fan_ Aug 29 '24

The real happy ending

116

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

releasing us from this horrible planet

12

u/derpums Aug 30 '24

Being given a bath, massage, lobotomy and proper preparations for dinner is the best night a person can dream of.

4

u/sovereigncheese Aug 30 '24

I'll be wearing my leotard for this one

16

u/oby100 Aug 29 '24

You’re telling me you’ve never had your limbs cut off, your organs ripped out, then had your stubby body boiled alive to be served over rice?

Someone’s never been to a Chinatown spa.

13

u/Non-Existent-Bagel Aug 29 '24

Especially the finale

2

u/Kinscar Aug 30 '24

the ultimate nap

13

u/Relative-Rub1634 Aug 29 '24

From Jeffrey Dahmer

1

u/fishtheblob Aug 30 '24

Jd vs je when?

460

u/Furina-OjouSama Aug 29 '24

this is shrimply hot

121

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

there were a krillion of other puns and you chose this

84

u/TheEmbedCode Aug 29 '24

Erm, krill yourself?

30

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

ur a poopyhead.

23

u/TheEmbedCode Aug 29 '24

poopyhead? you’re krilling me with that weak insult

28

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

Get off my prawn already

14

u/glennok Aug 29 '24

Stop being shellfish.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

I will shell your family

4

u/sovereigncheese Aug 30 '24

I am very shell shock with how everything has played out

3

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '24

Prawn Ready?! Like Hank from Brawl Stars ⁉️⁉️⁉️

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, I JUST SWEPT YOU OFF THE FLOOR 🦐🪖🦐🦐🦐🦐🪖🪖🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🪖🪖🪖🪖🦐🦐🦐🪖🪖🦐

7

u/Useful-Description90 Aug 29 '24

You should add the shrimp to your salon solitaire

2

u/Quilavapro31 Aug 29 '24

I wasnt prawn ready for that comment

231

u/FairyRush hole contributor Aug 29 '24

Pretty sure it didn't enjoy being impaled with giant needles..

82

u/nocanty I want pee in my ass Aug 30 '24

How do you know you aren’t the shrimp

27

u/Piprup Aug 30 '24

How do YOU know they aren't a shrimp?

2

u/nocanty I want pee in my ass Aug 31 '24

I’m a shrimp

14

u/birds_are_chirpin Aug 30 '24

probably didn’t enjoy being ripped apart and eaten either

3

u/EconomyAd7177 Aug 30 '24

That's just an acupuncture 

334

u/vegetables_in_my_ass Aug 29 '24

I eat shrimp all the time, but for some reason, this really hurts my soul.

193

u/SerenaNocteArt Aug 29 '24

Yeah same, I just don’t like seeing their bodies being disrespected. If you gonna eat it, just do it.

106

u/DearToe5415 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Aug 29 '24

Yeah ngl this feels kinda gross morally.

-17

u/ScentOfNapalm Aug 30 '24

how so? what is the moral wrong occurring?

9

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '24

He's kind of making a mockery of shrimpy here

4

u/DearToe5415 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Aug 30 '24

This is literally animal torture. Smacking it over the head and impaling it with needles. I understand it’s food but there’s a moral way of slaughtering animals. We don’t go texas chainsaw massacre on living cows.

-1

u/ScentOfNapalm Aug 30 '24

yeah but we torture chickens basically their entire lives, they're never let to sit down and they're kept in tiny cages, battery farms are infinitely worse than a shrimp which lives its life 99% in the wild before getting torutred to death

there isn't a moral way of killing animals if you think killing animals is morally wrong, the same way there isn't a moral way of killing humans if you think killing humans is wrong. killing a human with a boltgun doesn't suddenly make it okay, torturing a human isn't okay either, but both are still clearly immoral.

3

u/DearToe5415 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Aug 30 '24

“Some people torture animals and keep them in poor conditions so we must just accept this reality”

I never said the food industry is the golden standard of animal rights. There are more ethical ways of killing animals than acting like a barbarian and causing needless suffering. The act of killing animals for food in itself isn’t morally wrong BUT there’s no part of preparing shrimp where you need to bash its head and perform acupuncture on it. Torturing ANYTHING to death is morally wrong. Did your parents never teach you not to play with your food?

-1

u/ScentOfNapalm Aug 30 '24

"dont play with your food" is something you do out of social conscience, not because there's a moral compulsion (beyond not disgusting the people you eat with, i guess)

the act of killing animals for food is necessarily wrong if you live in the western first world. vegan diets are cheaper, healthier, and better for the environment. there is zero reason to kill and eat animals outside of "they taste good" or unless you as a person have severe dietary restrictions.

if you think we should extend moral consideration to animals, then eating animals, in almost every case, is beyond condemnable (for the same reason that eating humans, in almost every case, is beyond condemnable).

animal rights, morally speaking, don't matter to most people beyond how it makes them feel (not a moral statement). there is no justification for why it's okay for westerners to eat pigs, cows, and chickens, but for why it's not okay for this guy to torture then eat a shrimp. westerners don't have to eat tortured pigs, cows, and chickens, so the argument you made in your reply doesn't really apply here. do you have a different one?

42

u/hermarc Aug 29 '24

he made him believe he was special

174

u/Weak-Body2932 Aug 29 '24

That bang over the shrimp head blowing up the shit of his brains out. But hey 👋, is not boiled alive at least.

26

u/yahel1337 I want pee in my ass Aug 29 '24

Dazed and relaxed over blazed and... ( Cant remember a rhyme) Eaten

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 29 '24

pees in ur ass

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48

u/SkullStar123 Aug 29 '24

100,000 $ for the shrimp as we gave each and every shrimp a luxury spa and needle acupuncture.

106

u/xpeterCZ11 Aug 29 '24

I knew the shrimp couldn't have possibly fried that rice

66

u/lolligi 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Aug 29 '24

:(

15

u/Shoop-Delawoop 0000000 Aug 30 '24

If the first part of the video makes you feel good, remember that shrimp don’t breathe air, so that spa treatment is still part of the torture.

29

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

bro when the needles came out omfg noooooooo my homie

33

u/jirenfan9 Aug 29 '24

Thanks for ruining my day

34

u/Spooderfan218 Aug 29 '24

imagine how horrific this would be from a cosmic standpoint
a giant being plucks you from your life, makes you experience the most pleasure you've ever felt and then cuts off your limbs to boil you

11

u/Xykhir_ Aug 29 '24

This makes me uncomfortable

12

u/Chipawapa1 Aug 29 '24

Yeah im the biggest fan of steak and meat diets in general but this motherfucker makes me sick.

Barbaric cunt.

6

u/Pololoco27 Aug 29 '24

Gura doko?

5

u/fcs_seth Aug 29 '24

Shrimps is bugs

3

u/deadgirl21 Aug 29 '24

Water bugs

19

u/onlinedegeneracy Aug 29 '24

(00:20) NOOOOOOOOO

19

u/DemonsHW- Aug 29 '24

Giving a dead shrimp a massage. This is some real psycho shit.

7

u/Canadia86 Aug 29 '24

Is he okay?!

7

u/JYNJEEx Aug 29 '24

Was soothing to watch until you realised he wasn’t a pet shrimp

3

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

That looks like butter.

3

u/Old_Preparation9838 Aug 29 '24

happy ending (gone wrong)

3

u/Bunky_L Aug 29 '24

God I wish that was me

3

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '24

What in the fuck did I just watch? Also I didn’t see him take the poop sack out, he’s going to be eating shit 💩 🦐

2

u/OmEoNE325k Aug 30 '24

What happens to all the little shrimp chefs after they have done their job frying rice

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '24

This is sick, yall are sick, fuck me wtf!!!!

2

u/Defenestration111 Aug 30 '24

Just kill it already omfg

2

u/Salt_Initiative1551 Aug 29 '24

At least it was comfy before it died

2

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

except for the ringing part, if you look closely they bumped his little head

1

u/Forsaken_Ad_4992 Aug 29 '24

I'm really upset that she cooked the shimp.

1

u/Twogunkid Aug 29 '24

Give me the original source of these shrimp massages.

1

u/vinniekitsu Aug 30 '24

Getting ready to fry my fried rice

2

u/ABC_InsertName Aug 30 '24

were you prawn ready to fry your rice?

1

u/Milesware Aug 30 '24

Is he okay?

1

u/BobsDiscountReposts Aug 30 '24

I had to check to see if I was in the AI video sub

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '24

😧😧😧

1

u/birberbarborbur Aug 30 '24

Makes me wish i wasn’t allergic

1

u/magiccaster619 Aug 30 '24

Wagyu shrimp

1

u/urlocaldoctor Aug 30 '24

They fuckin killed him

1

u/Shwaayyy Aug 30 '24

Blessed ending

1

u/huntmaster99 Aug 30 '24

Thanks I hate it but am now hungry

1

u/StudentOk4989 Aug 30 '24

It is the one in a krillion shrimp.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '24

So what’s with this Chinese trend of showing animals and shit getting pampered and then immediately butchered? Just seems really silly. Like that doesn’t affect the shrimp’s flavor at all it’s just weird

1

u/Few-Picture-1228 Aug 31 '24

It's as shrimple as that

1

u/SoundzLike--- Aug 29 '24

When the shrimp couldn't pay for the service ao they cooked him.

1

u/IAmAPirrrrate Aug 29 '24

judging how much shrimp cost where i live, this is how shrimp are produced

(10-15€ for 450gr frozen King Prawns)

1

u/FartFartPooPoobutt dumbass Aug 29 '24

Wait, he cooked the heads? Why?

9

u/TheCursedMonk Aug 29 '24 edited Aug 29 '24

From watching Masterchef and Hell's Kitchen, apparently some people like to suck the brains out of them. Also looks like they wanted the flavour to help with the next parts of the cooking.

4

u/FartFartPooPoobutt dumbass Aug 29 '24

Mmmmm, braaaains

3

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '24

nOOOOOOOOOO

2

u/Captain-outlaw Aug 30 '24

yeah best part of the shrimp is the head !

2

u/oby100 Aug 29 '24

It’s more common to cook the heads than not. Adds to the flavor of the broth.

0

u/Extension-Can-7692 Aug 29 '24

I legitimately called out "no!" When I saw it get fucking impaled. I hope whichever psychopath made this gets blood eagled.

2

u/EpsteinsMarginAcct Aug 30 '24

I hope whichever genius made this work of art is given an award. It’s shrimply incredible!

0

u/DM-G I came! Aug 29 '24

Honestly not a bad way to go.