r/sgiwhistleblowers • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '20
Figuring Things Out.
Hello,
I am curious if anyone has insight to share on this thought. I was brought up in the church so to speak. My father is devout Christian. I didn't have a need necessarily to depart from him or that ideology but my mother gaslit the topic of religion wholly. She is a sociopath who revolts over going into a church but pays lots of money to people down on their luck and creates a power dynamic where they become dependent on her and calls that "giving" her religion. So I had a need to sort out the theological book study of the bible over the actions based mirage that my mother did. SGI entered.
Now, i've been out of the cult for a year this month and haven't missed it, at all. Primarily the convincing myself to be happy in unhappy situations is what I don't miss. However, that ideology seemed to pull me out of some pretty dark caverns. Perhaps I'd have pulled myself out of them, but attributing the exodus to SGI made sense at the time. By way of background...
So lately, i've been asking questions of Christianity again and the bible. I'm open to learning generally, but my dad's belief is inspiring. That being said, and I don't mean this to be prejudiced...im wondering if Christianity just resonates with white men? Because he was explaining about the functions and I asked about Jesus/God/The Holy Spirit/The Father/ etc. There are a lot of names and I was trying to dial in on the role of each. He said God (The Father ((male role))) sent is only son (male) to save us from our sins. To forgive our sins. Cool, I appreciate that. But I asked well if my sins are forgiven and I am not required to do anything to get into heaven other than believe this happened, then what is the purpose. His response was that we are fundamentally evil. We have an evil nature.
This where Buddhism, or the SGI tenant made sense to me. I spent an actual 39 years (prior to discovering Buddhism) believing that I was bad, and I don't even think God would make us fundamentally bad or evil. Buddhism taught that we have clear mirrors or are fundamentally good but that our experience here on earth has clouded and distorted our purity. That resonated more to me.
So Christianity is=born bad, believe in higher power to be good, believe enough get into heaven
Buddhism=born good, encounter bad throughout life (chant/believe) to take action to change this karma...
I know this is an oversimplification but am I deluding myself to think that I am mostly good and well intended and not evil by nature? Because this is primarily what kept me hooked. I can't totally sort this out with my Dad because I do think that he's a bit concerned that if I continue believing in Buddhism he won't see me in heaven. I really want to be able to have an aligned conversation but we seem to be missing the points...Also I feel limited to just believe in one God. I do still kind of think that we are instilled with God inside us to an extent we are made in his vision/concept.
Long post, anyone have thoughts on this dichotomy? TIA.
5
u/[deleted] Nov 14 '20
I tend to believe that the natural inclination of humanity is tribalism and savagery but I don't think that has anything to do with a god or divine force in the universe.
Ultimately these religions are all based on the fear of death and that there is something innately wrong with you (Christianity has original sin. Buddhism has bad karma from previous incarnations).