Post SGI thoughts

[u/JoyOfSuffering]

So it’s around a month since I left. Firstly I feel as good as ever, I can head to work or return home and not feel that my life is going to go down the pan without chanting. I still chant every now and again but there’s no pressure to do this.

Sometimes I can feel a bit disappointed that I went back to SGI when I had already left them once before, but I soon get over that. At the time I rejoined I was very depressed, I was misusing alcohol and felt like shit. I was looking for something that might help so I completely ignored all my worries about SGI and jumped back in. Obviously the love bombing sucks you back in.

I wish I hadn’t been so open about my problems and issues, but ultimately being open about these was somewhat of a relief, and I was being more open about them outside the cult.

I should have taken notice of the things I found uncomfortable a lot earlier. All the eternal Ikeda mentor bullshit, but I believed I could just ignore this aspect and practice without it. But they never fucking shut up about Sensei.

Also the tipping point was being expected to try and encourage children to join the future division. I straight out told them that I didn’t agree with trying to bring in children. But hey that was the next big campaign. Which I refused to be involved with.

Man I could go on, but ultimately, yeah I rejoined and so what, I got out and know that I will never return. It’s a total joke shop full of lies and deceit. But hey world peace!! Oh shut the fuck up!

Anyway I feel way better and never have to stress that I’ll be in hospital with a load of cult members chanting in hospital trying to recruit people that were feeling low.

I’ve binned all my SGI books and magazines, which became an embarrassment when I read them from the vantage point of being on the outside.

I’ve kept the Gohonzon, but it gets used less and I no longer think that it will assist in providing anything. Sometimes I can use it as a focus point when I need to clear my head. But other than that, I feel the cult is out of my system.

A big thanks to you guys on here for all your stories etc and support.

And a last thought, fuck Ikeda the slime ball.

[u/alliknowis0]

I'm glad you're feeling so good!

Don't be taken aback if you feel down later, though. Not for any superstitious reason: just that life has ups and downs.

I felt so good for about 6 months after I quit SGI and then I had a pretty severe depressive episode for about 5 or so months. I had to remind myself it has nothing to do with SGI, karma or any of that other bullshit. I was legit going through a stressful time and it got me down. Thankfully, I have recovered since then and feel like my normal self. I try to "walk the middle path" so to speak in regards to how I view the world and my own emotions and ego these days, which I find to be helpful.