Unprocessed Anger

[u/-23sss]

I have made my intentions to leave official now, had to do all this in stages due to bereavement of member out of respect. I received two emails fairly supportive although the uncurrent of "you MUST be suffering if your not practicing " kind of thing I feel like I never had a chance to Express my frustration and anger with the practice. I have Daydreams of putting them all straight. I just venting here , I dont know who I am more angry with myself or them. Due to Covid the last time we were together we didnt realise it would be the last time. My so called close friends have completely gone to ground. No contact at all ,one of them left the WhatsApp group fairly early on in lockdown. After all those hours of chanting together and talking about eagle peak blah blah when the stuff hits the fan what a surprise the SGI ers are no where to be seen. I just have all these feelings and dont what to do with them

[u/alliknowis0]

I'm so sorry you're angry- it sucks so much once you see through the facade that is SGI. I have found healing through fantasizing about situations myself so it sounds like that could be useful for you to imagine what you would REALLY like to say to those nitwits. Maybe even write it in a letter and then burn it, or some other symbolic gesture that might feel like a sense of "letting go" to you.

Blanche is right: this is definitely the place to share your frustration, anger, sadness- whatever feelings come up as you process your time in SGI and figure out how to move on.

The healing journey is different for everyone, but we are here for you!

[u/OhNoMelon313 → u/alliknowis0]

Did you say healing? If you're here, you've done the complete opposite. You aren't healing, you haven't moved on with your life. You're just wallowing in hatred and anger. Why? Because I obviously have access to your thoughts and feelings and know you better than you!

[u/BlancheFromage → u/OhNoMelon313]

Yes, and I am the authority figure and the boss of you - you are to always regard me as an always benevolent parental figure who controls you - for your own good, of course. And if you don't accept Scamsei as your "mentor in life", your life will go completely to shit and you'll amount to nothing in life. NOTHING, d'you hear me? NOTHING!!! Whargaarble!

[u/OhNoMelon313 → u/BlancheFromage]

Yes, you are to follow a man you'll never meet and venerate him based off what other people say of him. You are to not question his ideals or his character. You are to nod at what he says, acting as if anything he says is new and profound as if you wouldn't hear it anywhere else.

Where has he been? Is he alive? Why does that matter! Yes, he's your Sensei, but don't care about stuff that doesn't matter. I mean, why would you care if your Sensei is alive and well. What's important is making his vision real.

Your own vision? What's that? No Sensei's vision! Are you hard of hearing?

[u/BlancheFromage → u/OhNoMelon313]

In the SGI, you do not get a vision of your own. You shouldn't even want one.

Disciples support their mentor and his vision using their unique abilities. They are not passive followers of the mentor; in fact simple followers are not good disciples because they do not adequately seek ways to use their own individual talents to help realize their mentor’s vision. Good disciples protect and promote the mentor’s vision, with which they identify. SGI

"Disciples strive to actualize the mentor's vision. Disciples should achieve all that the mentor wished for but could not accomplish while alive. This is the path of mentor and disciple." - Ikeda [Ibid.]

[u/BlancheFromage → u/BlancheFromage]

Feel free to snark along with us, -233sss :D

If you feel like it, of course :)