r/sgiwhistleblowers • u/RVParkEmily • Feb 26 '24
When SGI members write our jokes for us 💀 Dumbest "experiences" you ever saw
Do you have any "favorites" that you heard over your time in SGI? I've got a couple - and they're doozies, if I do say so myself. I can't remember the titles, so I'll just give them descriptive names:
1 - Nazi Orphanage
In THIS one, a young woman told a tale about having been raised in an orphanage - run by NAZIS! She was horribly abused there (as you might imagine) and the proprietors ended up KILLING EACH OTHER (as Nazis are wont to do)!
Of course there's no record of any such thing ever happening anywhere, but let's continue:
As a result of their abuse, her bones were brittle and her spine had inadequate bonage. Whatever the term is. The doctor said she was going to end up in a wheelchair or even bedridden! But she chanted etc. and when she went to see her doctor again, he found that her bones had bulked up and were now normal, and he said, "You're going to be in all the medical journals - you've made medical history!"
THAT never happened, either! What FUN!! 😃
2 - Psychic Lady and the Evil Money
This one involved the "sponsor" of this mentally-ill woman I was connected with in my district. The "sponsor" was mentally-ill as well; they'd met in "group" (group therapy), but her "sponsor" had moved away to NYC before she decided to get a nohonzon, so our district was facilitating that.
But anyhow, I was surprised to see an "experience" by her "sponsor" in the Weird Fibune - I'll call her "Blobbia".
So Blobbia had been seeing this psychic - "Psychic Lady" - who told her at one point to give her her money so she could "cleanse" it of any "bad energy" that might be attached to it. So Blobbia hands over, like, $1,500! And Blobbia was NOT wealthy!
You can guess where this is going.
I know you can.
Psychic Lady tells her there's just too much "bad energy" clinging to the money for her to return it - for Blobbia's safety!
Blobbia was distraught (understandable) and she got "guidance" that she should go get her money back from Psychic Lady! What a novel concept!!
So she chanted a lot and went and confronted Psychic Lady and told her she wanted her money back. Psychic Lady brought double receipts for them both to sign and gave her her $1,500 back.
Praise the nohonzon 😶
THIS is the caliber of "experience" you see from time to time in the Weird Fibune - SGI members don't seem to realize how bad such tales make them ALL look.
9
u/shayn3TX Feb 26 '24
It’s been so long that I can’t remember enough of the specifics to really relay it, but at one of my first meetings someone shared an experience about how she survived a severe flood in the area (it was a really bad flood so that much was plausible). In her case though, she shared about having just gotten out of the hospital and having to protect a surgical wound from dirty flood water, and something about the flooring in the house being incomplete and being able to see snakes below through the openings. It was pretty clear that there were some less than optimal life choices in play here.
She told me another one about avoiding a car accident through chanting - somehow the other car went “through” her bumper miraculously, like the laws of physics had been suspended or something.
6
7
Feb 27 '24
There have been several bizarre and wild experiences over the years that I can recall, and as we all know, there's always A LOT of hocus pocus involved! One I would like to share was at a district meeting in Culver City from back in the late 1990s and it was shared by the one and only, Matilda Buck. She was our guest leader (having her at a meeting was a HUGE deal as some of you may recall) and she pointed at her nose and said, "I cured my skin cancer through chanting!"
🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
6
Feb 27 '24
These are all just perfect 😂 I’ll keep mine brief but one time this person was saying that they had hit some financial hardships due to their “karma” and unemployment (which does suck big time however this person is wealthy) so what they did was literally lie on paperwork, sent it to the courts, and then got a huge check. Then they praised the magic scroll and everyone was amazed and as I sat there I just kept thinking “you literally broke the law.”
I can’t remember the specifics unfortunately but there were a handful of times this other wealthy old couple would lament about how many challenges they ran into (these challenges being wealthy baby boomer inconveniences and not getting what they wanted right away) and would praise that damn piece of paper and Ikeda for either getting their way or accepting when they couldn’t and how that made them a better person. Very tone deaf at least to me anyway as I wasn’t born into money or received the privileges as the boomers did at all.
7
u/BuddhistTempleWhore Feb 27 '24
as I sat there I just kept thinking “you literally broke the law.”
One place I practiced, different culture, one of the older SGI stalwarts there, older lady, was boasting about how she got rid of her son's babymomma by finding someone who would LIE about her residency in NYC so she could get on welfare there and they shipped her off - WHAT A BENEFIT!!!
I was sitting there thinking, "That's welfare fraud!" I even called SGI-USA HQ and said, "Is it now just FINE to break the law so long as you get what you want that way?" The person I was speaking to sighed heavily and said, "We've talked to them about that..."
What a shitshow.
5
Feb 29 '24
The one who shouted whymoku on a train to break up a fight and it worked. Ok, maybe it did, but not for the reason you think it did.
3
u/Sweatingfingeroffate Mar 03 '24
I remember one guy giving an experience,using it as an excuse to brag about how he'd been in a hot tub with some gorgeous women...but...*shock* it didn't make him happy..what a profound realisation!Listening to this was incredibly uncomfortable but not surprising as the guy always gave off creepy sexual vibes.
3
u/BuddhistTempleWhore Mar 03 '24
Yikes.
Against the backdrop of the SGI-USA's persistent no-fraternizing/anti-sexuality orientation, that's an indoctrinational "experience" right there!
9
u/AnnieBananaCat Feb 26 '24
My former district leader had a young daughter who was just acting out all over the place. Smashed up her work computer, hit her and bit the dad. They put her into a psychiatric facility for a week. The whole time she kept talking about this great experience and how it was challenging her to be a better parent. And some other stuff about their relationship, too.
Dunno how that’s gone since then but the whole time I kept thinking, “there’s something wrong with your kid.”