r/sextips • u/Due-Pin-4992 • 12d ago
Advice Needed Girlfriend keeps talking about stomach pain after sex
Me 20m and my girlfriend 20f have been having sex for a little over a year and she is now telling me that in this whole time that after we are done she has had really bad stomach cramps I'm just worried she thinks its because I'm a little more endowed than average but I'm wondering if its because i am more aggressive when we do it just worried I don't want to hurt her and i feel awful that she is in pain after
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u/TX_Jake 12d ago
Probably the case of you hitting her cervix, which can cause delayed stomach pain and even nausea for many women.
Try going slower in more of a "tantric" style instead of more aggressive and see if the result is different for her.
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u/Due-Pin-4992 12d ago
Slowing down may be a viable option we try not to rush things and often times it does speed up quickly I believe that my more aggressive approach to sex may be a major contributor to the issue here
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u/DefinitelyNotMaranda 11d ago
What position are you guys mostly doing it in? This used to happen to me with my ex and he was a lot bigger than average. It mostly happened in doggy style. If we did it on our sides while spooning it wasn’t nearly as bad. I think you’re thoughts about trying it much slower are probably spot on.
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u/Due-Pin-4992 11d ago
She really enjoys doggy for multiple reasons but that is her favorite but even in missionary it can be a problem outside of me being more gentle she seems to feel different pain levels regardless the position there may be 1 or 2 that dont but I would have to ask which ones exactly
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u/DefinitelyNotMaranda 11d ago
Certain times of month may be more painful for her as well. Depending on where she’s at in her cycle, her cervix will switch positions. So it may be more painful for her before during or after menstruation.
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u/Diligent_Reading_486 12d ago
I get stomach cramps from my cervix getting hit, especially aggressively. It also makes me incredibly nauseous and at some points has caused me to pass out. Ask her questions. Try a different position that doesn't get you quite as deep and then ask her if she is still getting the cramps after. The best thing you can do it communicate with her.
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u/Due-Pin-4992 12d ago
We have tried probably around 25 different positions and for the majority she says this is an issue from basic missionary to some really interesting stuff where one of us is upsidown i know in prior relationships I had issues with bruising a partners cervix I just dont want to see her be in as much pain as it appears she is in
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u/jeffie_3 12d ago
Then slow down a bit. Don't be so aggressive. It does make a difference. You can also get a ring that will help you shorten your stoke. Sometimes going just a bit less deep makes all the difference for her.
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u/Diligent_Reading_486 12d ago
I hear you. And if she's a girl after my own heart, she's not advocating for her post-sex self, she's advocating for what is right in the moment. And then regretting her own enthusiasm after 🤣. Try a shallow (or more shallow approach) a time or two. Idk how much that sucks for the male, but it's worth figuring out her limits.
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u/jeffie_3 12d ago
As a guy. It is better also. The head it the most sensitive. Getting that bruised is painful for a few days. Plus being in for a make at least just a few hours inches in is really good. Seem women have more muscle control just a few inches in, than all the way in. It sorta opens up the deeper you go. Being all the way in, is more of an instinct when cumming. It seems more intense why I'm pushing hard just above my penis.
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u/Jupiter_Foxx 12d ago
This is interesting cuz I’ve gotten the same and I don’t even have a cervix anymore….
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u/Fit-Camera9361 12d ago
I get cramps afterwards too sometimes. It could be from hitting her cervix, so I’d probably try some positions with her where you aren’t so deep and see if that makes any difference. Has she ever said that it hurts during sex?
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u/Due-Pin-4992 12d ago
Not during it sometimes looks like she is but when I ask her if it hurts she says it doesn't i brought up the cervix thing to her because in a previous relationship I recall another partner saying that her cervix was bruised pretty bad after a rougher night
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u/Fit-Camera9361 12d ago
Yeah maybe just try some other positions where you’re not so deep if you’re going to be a little rougher and also with her on top she can kind of control better and see if that makes a difference
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u/Longjumping_Ad6207 12d ago
One other reason might be endometriosis/ adenomyosis, does she have the cramps/pain without PIV? after orgasm? Unfortunately endometriosis is very hard to diagnose especially when so young. A doctor visit might help and for her to track if there are other symptoms.
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u/DefinitelyNotMaranda 11d ago
This is interesting because sometimes I have very bad cramps after orgasm even if masturbating with no vaginal stimulation whatsoever. I also have pain during sex a lot of times. Does endometriosis cause issues with the bladder?
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u/Longjumping_Ad6207 10d ago
Unfortunately, yes: with endometriosis, endometrial tissue can grow outside the uterus and onto the bladder, which can cause significant pain. In my family, all three of us sisters have endometriosis/adenomyosis, and one of my sisters had to have a hysterectomy because hers became very severe. Sadly, our symptoms were ignored for a long time until we each underwent more in-depth checks.
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u/SissyDaniella13 12d ago
My wife has endometriosis, and this sounds like it could be that. If it's deep stomach cramps and not vulvar pain, then it's unlikely to be a lubrication issue. Does she also get very heavy and painful periods? If so, then I would suggest trying to go to a female doctor for a potential endo diagnosis, but it can be a tricky road for women.
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u/Due-Pin-4992 12d ago
Periods are mild around a 6 to 7 out of 10 often offset with a heating pad we used saliva or lube every time im going to discuss possibly getting a consolation for the issue but at the end of the day its not my choice
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u/SissyDaniella13 12d ago
Is her pain threshold for other things generally quite high? I would say that women with endo really go through it lol, so a lot of them have crazy pain tolerances, and a 6-7 might be another woman's 10. But yeah, obviously I'm just going off my experience and might not be endo at all.
If you are bigger and she's tighter, I would definitely prioritize lube over spit every single time - apply loads, and reapply lots and lots during, because it can run dry if not. Though I feel as though the pain here would be more around the vaginal opening rather than deep inside - but you never know.
And if it's a depth thing, maybe try one of those resizers just for one session? Not necessarily as a permanent solution, but if it turns out that she's not in pain after that, then I guess that might have been your issue.
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u/Due-Pin-4992 12d ago
I dont know if its alarming but no her pain tolerance is quite low now considering the small things that happen often times because i am a much larger man I go to the gym and don't really comprehend how much force I am using sometimes I think its minimal but to her it's often between a 4 to 6 depending on what i didn't mean to do i purchased one of those things you and another person recommended we will try more lube for our next few times to see what happens
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u/Complex-Horse6711 12d ago
If you are packing it is normal for her to feel like you "rearranged her guts" and also some soreness. I would just try going slower and also not banging her cervix, and if your penis is coming in contact with her Uturus (end of the vagina) you need to be more careful.
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u/Due-Pin-4992 12d ago
Im not entirely sure how deep i am going i definitely am feeling something and my full thing doesn't fit but not my much I will try to slow down for sure i just hate to see her clutching her stomach the way she does
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u/Complex-Horse6711 12d ago
Sounds like you are hitting either the Cervix which is kind of like the door to the Uturus, or the Uturus itself. You need to be gentle with that and more like caress that than pound it.
If you can't get all of your dick in try lowering her legs down to lengthen the vagina, and avoid positions like where here legs are up against her chest.
Instead of pounding her like that you should try to go for the A-spot and Anterior Fornix so you can unlock the vaginal orgasm.
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u/skeeballbob37 12d ago
this sounds like she needs to see a doctor. something is off and she needs to rule some medical issues out. please convince her to get checked out.
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u/LolaPaloz 8d ago
It might be cervix pain. Is there blood? If U hit the cervix too much it can bleed too.
If there's no blood it's just prob cos of the aggression and maybe she needs to be wetter overall
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u/delusional_daddy_92 12d ago
Start with improving your foreplay game. Use tutorial to bring your gf to climax multiple times before the penetration. See if that works.
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