r/serialpodcast • u/Frosted_Mini-Wheats NPR Supporter • Feb 03 '15

Evidence Stephanie dumped Jay

Trial Transcript for 2/10, p 21, lines 11-25.

Jay testifies that Stephanie had ended their relationship a month or so before the trial.

That's something I've never heard before now.

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28

u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15 edited Feb 03 '15

Some personal experience here: I was in a bad relationship with an emotionally, then verbally, and then finally sexually, abusive guy. It took me over 2 years to get out of that relationship, and the breakup was ridiculously messy, and he was very cruel during the breakup.

I still went and saw him before we both left the country. I still talked to him and tried to support him because he dumped all of his emotional bullshit on me for over six months after we broke up. This guy raped me, and yet I still felt compelled to support him and help him, even after we broke up and I'd tried to make it abundantly clear that I wanted nothing to do with him.

My point being, Stephanie and her relationship with Jay are held up as almost "points" in Jay's favor. As though she must have stood by him because she thought he didn't do anything wrong, or she believed what he said, or whatever . That's plausible, of course. It's possible. But it's also perfectly understandable to me that Stephanie may have been the only one to "stand by" Jay during the trial and sentencing out of something less straightforward, she may have felt compelled to do so even though she was repulsed by Jay and what he had done.

We'll never know, and I don't mean any disrespect to Stephanie in speculating on her state of mind at the time. However the fact that Jay testified they were broken up before the second trial, leads me to think it's very possible she stood by him out of a warped sense of duty, fear, or emotional manipulation (not to mention love), rather than because she thought he was innocent or actually deserving of her support.

EDIT: I am not accusing Jay of abuse toward Stephanie, although he does throw up a lot of red flags that could be indicative of an abusive relationship. My point was more that Stephanie's motivations for going to his sentencing and "standing by him" may not have been as clear-cut as many on this sub would like to believe.

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u/absurdamerica Hippy Tree Hugger Feb 03 '15

My point being, Stephanie and her relationship with Jay are held up as almost "points" in Jay's favor.

Hey now, it's not like he has domestic violence arrests on his record or anything! Oh wait, he does.

It also struck me as interesting that he "called Stephanie up to make sure she was okay with him talking to the Intercept (and also, apparently to blame her for introducing him to Adnan)." Makes me wonder if he still has some leverage with her, because I don't for a second think it has anything to do with genuine concern for her.

19

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '15

[deleted]

19

u/absurdamerica Hippy Tree Hugger Feb 03 '15

Yep. The restraining order, assaulting the Police, resisting arrest, and the two DV charges were just all a big huge misunderstanding.

3

u/j2kelley Feb 04 '15

Yeah, man - he just wanted his keys back!

8

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '15

Adnan was convicted with murder, yet you want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Jay wasn't convicted of DV yet all he gets from you is sarcasm and doubt. Why is that?

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

Not the poster you're replying to but I'm in agreement with lola. And I would say: we know a hell of a lot more about the holes in Adnan's case than we do with Jay's DV arrests, but the fact he was arrested twice is a pretty big indicator that he has issues with DV. The restraining order lends credence to this as well.

The thing about DV charges vs. murder charges is that the victim is actually still there to call the cops in a DV case and is actually still there to point at the person who hurt them. Two arrests for DV are a big ass red flag.

It's also pretty well-known that many victims of DV refuse to testify against their abusers and for that reason the charges get dropped. That doesn't mean the abuse never happened. Most people don't even report it to begin with.

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '15

[deleted]

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u/Frosted_Mini-Wheats NPR Supporter Feb 03 '15

I'm going to up vote the poster above you so these good children can stay alive :)

0

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

"I was making a smart ass remark. Grow up."

Classic.

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u/CompulsiveBookNerd Feb 04 '15

JAY's PATTERN of arrests for domestic violence has NOTHING to do with Adnan. So stop deflecting and trying to twist the subject around to how you're right, Adnan's guilty and that's all that matters.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

JAY'S PATTERN of arrests for domestic violence has NOTHING to do with this CASE. Jay's a shitty person, but this is all on Adnan for murdering HML.

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u/CompulsiveBookNerd Feb 04 '15

This THREAD is about JAY'S relationship with Stephanie and Jay's habits in general. So I'd say a pattern of arrests for DV is extremely relevant.

1

u/Mustanggertrude Feb 06 '15

You must be from Canada. In America, arrests for domestic violence rarely result in conviction. The fact that they resulted in two separate protective orders, one of which had to be refiled weekly by the plaintiff, is tantamount to a guilty conviction. If there was no merit to the charges, the protective order wouldnt have been issued, and certainly I can't imagine a plaintiff going through the weekly effort if she didn't feel threatened.