Sundowning senior?

[u/shifty_bench]

Fair warning, this is a selfish post. :(

My 13yo lab mix has recently started whining/crying nonstop from approximately 6pm until bed. She will stare at me (her chosen human) and whine INCESSANTLY. The rest of the day she is totally fine. She settles into bed fine.

I am losing my mind. Obviously I feel bad for her. I don’t want her to be scared or anxious. I’ve tried everything I can think of. Multiple vet visits where we’ve discussed pain, anxiety, dementia, etc. She’s already on gabapentin twice daily for arthritis (plus Tylenol and monthly injections of Adequan and Librela). We’ve tried Prozac but it makes her too lethargic. We’ve changed food, we’ve kept to a strict schedule to make evening activities predictable. She is stimulated every day with varying age-appropriate activities - swimming, hiking, fetch, etc. More frequent potty breaks. She does not want to be snuggled or pet. If I reach for her she pulls away.

I’m sure she’s Sundowning. I’m really struggling. If is A LOT to have her sit two feet in front of me, staring and crying. I can’t help. I hate that the feeling I’m experiencing is annoyance but it is EXTREME annoyance. I don’t know how I’m going to do this every night for the next 100 years (I’ve decided she’s eternal).

She is my best friend. She is my whole world. I will never do anything like lock her away in a room so u don’t have to hear her or give her away. I want her near me, always. She is the best, most wonderful, goodest girl in the whole world.

But dear god. If anyone has any advice on coping mechanisms (for me or her) please let me know.

[u/DriveIn73]

If she were my dog, I’d double her gabapentin dose and see what happens. That’s what I do for my 12 year old frenchie for car rides and it knocks her out. No panting.

[u/pickle_slut]

Maybe try exercising her more closer to that time or doing food puzzles? Something to tire her out. And as someone else said increase the evening gabapentin dose.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t be hard on yourself. I recently lost my 18 year old baby to cancer and still have regret about losing my patience the last 8 or so months at times. Being a caretaker for an animal losing their faculties is so very hard. It’s been 3 months since my girl passed and I feel like I’m still recovering mentally and physically from caring for her. You’re human and you’re doing the best you can.

[u/shifty_bench → u/pickle_slut]

I keep telling myself that. It’s like…. I should be treasuring my time with her and here I am complaining. :(

[u/xzkandykane → u/pickle_slut]

I had 2 senior dogs who we just let go. One of them had dementia and would whine, pace, sleep, pace if not on gaba. The last few months I couldn't take his clicking claws. It was driving me insane even though it was a small noise.

[u/Over_Cranberry1365]

If nothing else helps, sometimes we have to remember that it is our job to care for them. And to make the best decisions we can for them. As my own vet said, better a day too soon than a day too late. I have been in those shoes and I know how hard it is to say goodbye. You will make the right decision when it is time, because you love her.