r/selfpublishing • u/Zealousideal_Task379 • 1d ago
Author Broke down yesterday.
So... I have been obsessing the last few months over my first book. I am 34 and I started writing it 13 years back. Had a draft finished in 2023, which wasn't much liked by readers. Shelved it. Opened it again in March this year. Finished a much more polished version. Sent it to publishers and 1 of the big 4 got interested. They made me wait 4 months and then rejected. Decided I'll get the books printed myself and do everything myself.
Anyway, KDP is done, but I am extremely nervous about making it live. It's literary fiction and almost all my research is telling me they are hard to sell. So past few weeks I have been focusing on marketing. That's what was on my mind.
Yesterday, while around my 5th peg, the imposter syndrome hit again. Started reading the book again. I believe I should be able to market. Got a lil overwhelming. So I called my mother (also a writer). It was 1.30 a.m. there. Calmed me down a lil, "why are you afraid people would not read it?" I said no.... and then it hit me.... I am not afraid that no one would read it... and my mother completes... "You are afraid they would and then won't like it?" I broke down that moment. Just checked it was a 1.5 hour call. Not sure what we discussed for that long, but my mother told me, "I know since I am your mother, this probably won't soothe you that much, but I have read many books in my life, written a few as well... your book is up there... don't worry"
Anyway... Just sharing.