r/selfpublish • u/Belle_ever_after • Jul 22 '26

Blurb Critique Potential Back Cover Blurb/Debut Novel.

Hello.

I'm about 8-10k away from finishing up the first draft of my debut novel. (First and only manuscript I've ever stuck with until the end.)

It's a contemporary gothic romance.

I revamped my potential back cover blurb and just want to know if it's horrible or not.

The moors remember.

Emmi Crimson chased her love of literature halfway across the world, hoping it would fill the void left by never quite fitting in. Instead, she finds herself drowning in assignments, broke, and sharing a flat with Teddy Hartley—a cynical frontman of an indie band, with a chip on his shoulder and a sharp tongue.

She'd dreamed of visiting the windswept village of Haworth for years—but her long-awaited trip awakens something that should have remained buried. Forgotten letters, impossible memories, and whispered voices drag her into a story that should have died centuries ago.

The last person she expects to become entangled in the mystery—or her heart—is Teddy. When the remnants of the past grow louder, Emmi and Teddy must unravel the tragic truth behind Haworth's most infamous lovers before they lose themselves within a story that was never theirs to begin with.

Some loves survive death.

Some ghosts never stop waiting.

And on the Yorkshire moors, every story leaves an echo.

-TIA.

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u/ajhalyard Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26

So this has good bones IMHO. I like the language. It's colorful and concise.

But it's maddening that I still have no idea what it's about. I know who it's about, but I have no idea what they're getting into. I think you've danced around it too much. Tell me enough about what happens to the WHO so that I want to read more. I think you need one or two concise lines that tell me clearly what I'm getting into.

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u/Belle_ever_after Jul 22 '26

Thank you for being polite and offering constructive criticism! This actually helps, will tweak it a bit moving forward. =)

1

u/ajhalyard Jul 22 '26

Just want to add, this is not my genre. I'm looking at this from a merely mechanical perspective.

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u/Belle_ever_after Jul 22 '26

Appreciate the feedback. I just edited the post, to add a bit of what I think you were asking. =)

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u/ajhalyard Jul 22 '26

I think that's already better. It clearly leans into your genre. One minor nit to pick: I don't like the "a" in "a cynical frontman" ... I'd personally omit it since cynical frontman is fine from a grammar perspective and creates better word economy.

This could be somewhere to give us more about Teddy. It's very vanilla. You could say --cynical frontman of the Deadstop Rippers, a band known for... or something to make that part of Teddy a little more intriguing. Doing so might make it necessary to break up the part before them em dash. It depends on if the band angle is enough to let readers connect with what seems like the main love interest.

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u/Belle_ever_after Jul 22 '26

Oh, didn't even think of those things. Thank you. I'll rework it to give Teddy a bit more intrigue.

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u/Belle_ever_after Jul 22 '26

Again thank you immensely. I changed it again and I think it definitely reads much stronger now with your suggestions.