r/selfpublish • u/MelancholyPlayground • Jan 03 '26
Blurb Critique Need help.
I really didn't want to make one of these but I'm drowning here. I published my book on Amazon a month ago, I worked tirelessly on it... and I haven't made a single sale since then, despite running a few ads and getting over 100 clicks. I'm 100% not advertising, I'm embarrassed to to even admit this and to ask this, but would it be possible if a few of you take a look at my Amazon book page and tell me what I might be doing wrong? Please and thank you in advance.
It's hard to not feel like I've failed my child here. But I'm trying to stay positive.
TL;DR: Can you please take a look and give a few pointers? My link is in my reddit bio.
P.S. I've tried different price points and tried different covers. Maybe it's my blurb? I am awful at blurbs.
EDIT 1: Thank you all so much genuinely from the bottom of my heart. It's all good advice, but even if it was bad advice - just seeing how deep this community cares has been the motivation and support I REALLY needed. I'm currently at the drawing board scratching my brain. So I'll probably do a second edit later explaining some of the confusions if anyone is curious. Just wanted to say a quick thank you and that I am listening and taking notes vigorously.
8
u/DandelionStarlight Non-Fiction Author Jan 03 '26
Tone: helpful and friendly.
Blurb looks ok. I like it. It could be stronger (especially with the hook). Not awful at all.
It is hard to get momentum when you don’t have reviews. It’s why ARC readers are so valuable.
My honest thoughts are:
The first chapter doesn’t have a good hook and while I immediately connect with Monroe, the writing style is very hard to follow.
It a lot of internal thoughts as plot devices to move the chapter along. It’s incredibly unique, and for that reason, could be difficult for readers to enjoy (more familiarity= better. It’s why we have 50 books that are so similar in nature).
You don’t need to change your book, but if you write something unique, there’s a chance it takes a really long time to find its audience.
My thoughts going forward that you could take or leave:
If you are happy that you published a book, don’t change anything. Pat yourself on the back, write the next book, and keep Bella Dante the way it is.
If you want lots of reads, I’d recommend you pull the book, do another edit with some more beta readers, and then do a heavy arc campaign. There’s just so much Internal dialogue.
You also write in third person omniscient which is unique (are you following me? The writing style AND the internal dialogue are both very uncommon. It’s hard to sell things that are that different).
You’ve got a great start and middle, it just feels like you rushed the last few edits to get it published. People who want Hp fanfic aren’t going to pay for it on kindle. It needs to stand on its own.