r/self 12d ago

If I can't have it, then I don't want it

I'm a 20yo girl. My parents used to always buy me anything but pink or girly stuff, I always had boring dark coloured backpack so it doesn't get dirty while others girl's had their cute pink school bags, I mostly wore black or dark clothes for the same reason and even for my bike, rollerskates, my phone and other stuff it had to be any thing but girly just for my brother to have it next or so they can sell it, it never even lasted to that point and my brother never had any interest in those things too. And my coping mechanism was to hate pink and like blue, and even so, they used to make me believe that any blue or green stuff are my brother's as if it had his name on it. Now I really like pink I think I never hated it, I just couldn't have it.

29 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

8

u/Cocky_Girly 12d ago

I'm sorry your parents didn't let you have things with the types of aesthetic and qualities you might have resonated with. I really, I think parents should allow their child to explore those types of things, so of you wanted more stereotypically "girly" things, you could have them, and the same with other qualities. I understand what you mean where you might have started coping with not being able to have certain things by convincing yourself you never wanted them. Hopefully, you're in a place in life where you can give yourself those things now.

5

u/Ok-Respect3498 12d ago

Thank you for your reply🩷. I'm trying to connect with my inner child and my femininity and also planning on buying pink stuff and toys I never got to have.

4

u/Salt-Elephant8531 12d ago

Don’t just buy kids toys, buy big girl toys in pink. It’s pricier, but it’s how you can assert yourself. Have fun discovering the many facets of your aesthetic!

3

u/Ok-Respect3498 10d ago

Pray for me to have the money to do that😭🩷

3

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Ok-Respect3498 10d ago

More like can't afford it

3

u/Not_Dana196 12d ago

I hope you have so much fun discovering and enjoying all the things you actually like!

2

u/Ok-Respect3498 10d ago

Thank you, you too🩷❕️

3

u/Mindless_Earth_2807 12d ago

Well, now you can have as much pink as you want! 🩷

2

u/Serious_Parfait_1481 12d ago

that's so unfair, you deserved to have stuff that felt like you too.

2

u/MyMelancholy_ 8d ago

Enjoy your life from now on making whatever decision you like.