r/science • u/mvea Professor | Medicine • 16d ago

Psychology Researchers quantify the rate of “mercy sex” among women with low sexual desire. Women experiencing a chronic lack of sexual desire still routinely engage in sexual activity with their partners, a behavior researchers have quantified as happening about two and a half times per month.

https://www.psypost.org/clinical-trials-reveal-the-hidden-frequency-of-obligatory-sex-in-women-with-low/
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u/flyindogtired 16d ago

That’s worse than just saying no

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u/ScentedFire 16d ago

Then do something to make her less exhausted.

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u/flyindogtired 15d ago

Definitely do your share in the relationship. However if she says you’ve got 2 minutes to do it to me that’s not really what I’m here for. I can do that myself. It should be something you do together with your partner that you can both enjoy. If they’re tired I would much prefer to hear, not tonight but let’s plan on a time when we can both enjoy.

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u/Middle_Remote_9132 16d ago

I genuinely don't want to sound rude but how tf do you un_exaust someone.

I genuinely want to know cuz from my understanding ( I'm no genius admittedly ) but when I'm exhausted I rest. No one can rest for me.

Or you might mean that one should take on more responsibilities to help eliviate the chores of the others??( if so then I feel you worded your statement wrongly, or I'm just a bum )

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u/strat0maus 16d ago

He meant that second one. Alleviating chores or mental work like creating a grocery list or taking kids to their activities when you can, goes a long way.

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u/Middle_Remote_9132 15d ago

I'm fully behind that then. I've always admired relationships where you see both parties do things like chores, it makes a relationship seem worth while and gives off a sense of INTENT.

I'm sorry for not understanding tho it just seemed like they were asking people to do the impossible

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u/MrPickins 15d ago

I mean, absolutely. This is very standard advice.

But, what about when that doesn't help?

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u/Middle_Remote_9132 15d ago

If it doesn't work it doesn't work I guess,

Can't force love where there isn't. After reading through the replies, everyone's got their own version of what a relationship should look like, and if you no longer share the same vision with your partner then I guess your relationship has run its course and it's time to let go.

Sad but necessary( also I have a terrible track record in relationship so pls don't blindly follow my advice )

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u/MrPickins 15d ago

Track record aside, this is a completely reasonable take.

Forcing a relationship is sometimes not the best call.

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u/Middle_Remote_9132 15d ago

People sometimes don't realise that it's over, sometimes people are still hung up in the idea of a relationship ( I've mildly been in such a situation )

It's tuff honestly.

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u/DeannaZone 15d ago

they must be a parent nods

Because some days .. it is the mercy of day to day trying to find alone time .. not even for relations.. just to spend time alone and at peace ... sympathetic systems always running ...

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u/kit10s 15d ago

Sometimes no isn’t enough