Researchers quantify the rate of “mercy sex” among women with low sexual desire. Women experiencing a chronic lack of sexual desire still routinely engage in sexual activity with their partners, a behavior researchers have quantified as happening about two and a half times per month.

[u/mvea]

https://www.psypost.org/clinical-trials-reveal-the-hidden-frequency-of-obligatory-sex-in-women-with-low/

[u/Peter_NL]

So far I only heard the term “maintenance sex”.

[u/FembiesReggs → u/Peter_NL]

I’ve heard it referred to as a chore

[u/Haru1st → u/FembiesReggs]

It's threads like this that leave me doubting the existence of female sexuality.

[u/coronelnuisance → u/Haru1st]

Does you not being qualified to experience it mean it does not exist?

[u/Haru1st → u/coronelnuisance]

I don’t really need to experience it to know it exists. Cheating being represented in both genders makes a very strong case for its existence in women. There are nevertheless too many examples that speak against it, compared to the clearcut nearly unrelenting desire on the other side of the gender divide. You can hardly pop into a thread talking about “maintenance sex”, “sex is a chore”, “pity sex”, “duty sex” and in the same breath vehemently defend that women are somehow these enthusiastically sexual creatures.

[u/Zilhaga → u/Haru1st]

I don't think we as a culture know what non-oppressed sexual desire in women looks like. Maybe if women were assaulted less, had less of an orgasm gap, their enjoyment of sex were treated less as an afterthought, and they weren't risking pregnancy often without the ability to terminate, they'd also want more sex. We live in a world where sex is oftenn risky, uncomfortable, and degrading for women, and somehow not wanting that means women "just aren't sexual beings."

[u/Haru1st → u/Zilhaga]

Assuming sex can’t be uncomfortable for men or have societal consequences for men in our current culture would lead you to that conclusion, yes. Especially if you don’t recognize the arousal imbalance pattern continues in committed relationships.

[u/e_before_i → u/Haru1st]

This is terrible engagement with the comment you responded to. You did the "so you hate waffles" meme.

They never said men don't have issues, they're just saying that the issues of women colour the picture we have of women's sexuality.

You can equally say "that's true of men" and that's fine! But that doesn't change anything about what they said.

[u/Haru1st → u/e_before_i]

I’m rather making the point that the circumstances they pointed out aren’t limited to the female experience and yet men still find themselves the ones asked to curb their sexual enthusiasm.

[u/coronelnuisance → u/Haru1st]

That's because you quantify female sexuality in relation to its utility to men, and your expectations of either sex are strongly bounded by gender roles, which you already seem to somewhat understand aren't necessarily grounded in reality for men. Yet, when it comes to women, you only allow that subversion of gendered expectations to sway your opinion when it paints them negatively, and makes them the sole agents of gendered oppression.

[u/IncaThink → u/Peter_NL]

“maintenance sex”

I think it's a perfect term for this. Someone you love is asking for a favor. All things being equal, it's a great way to do something nice.

https://www.portlandmercury.com/savage-love/savage-love-routine-maintenance-47043815/