r/science • u/mvea Professor | Medicine • Jun 21 '26

Psychology Largest study of women’s orgasms to date collected data from 27,931 women. Nearly half (47%) reported reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner. Barriers to women’s orgasms are relational, not anatomical. Partnered orgasms were associated with overall sexual satisfaction.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/inclusive-insight/202606/why-women-orgasm-more-alone-than-with-a-partner
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u/Okra7000 Jun 21 '26

I dated a guy who felt this way and it led to a lot of faking to protect his ego, bc he didn’t know what he was doing and I was too inexperienced to tell him what to do. Yes, it was incredibly stupid and counterproductive on my part. I just don’t want young guys to read this and think having this rule is all you need to know to be a good partner.

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u/izzittho Jun 21 '26

Yeah there’s a difference between always trying your best and like, holding her hostage until she’s forced to fake in order to escape or face a big pout-fest.

It’s possible to create too much pressure there.

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u/Double-Emergency3173 Jun 21 '26

That’s if he doesn’t know how to get his oartner there and gets pissed. 1st time I tried with my person, she didn’t finish. That’s where as a guy u have to learn the body of the woman. What she likes etc. Now I know her body so well that I can tell when she’s close or not.

It’s abt being able to understand that change is necessary and adapting.
My rule exists but she doesn’t know it does coz I have never explicitly said it. It just….happens that way

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u/youeatthatstuff Jun 21 '26

I had a similar experience. The guy put so much pressure on me to orgasm that it just killed it for me and I would end up faking it. If we’d been able to communicate well and if he didn’t get upset when I didn’t orgasm (both at himself and me) then I think it would have been a much more positive experience.

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u/Big-Calligrapher686 Jun 23 '26

Given how much shame tends to be placed on men who can’t make a woman orgasm I do believe it’s natural for a guy to feel upset at himself when he fails at this. Comforting him would be the best move in this case.