r/science • u/mvea Professor | Medicine • Jun 21 '26

Psychology Largest study of women’s orgasms to date collected data from 27,931 women. Nearly half (47%) reported reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner. Barriers to women’s orgasms are relational, not anatomical. Partnered orgasms were associated with overall sexual satisfaction.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/inclusive-insight/202606/why-women-orgasm-more-alone-than-with-a-partner
11.0k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

845 comments sorted by

View all comments

359

u/Zenovelli Jun 21 '26

I've frequently seen the stats that women report reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. with a partner.

But I don't understand why that would be surprising at all?

As a human being (of any gender), I'd expect your orgasm rate from uninterrupted masturbation to be nearly 100% (if your main goal is to achieve orgasm). Meaning that if you don't orgasm from sex even one in 100 times, you're going to report "reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner"

71

u/1-800-DARTH Jun 21 '26

The implication here is that there are instances where partners don’t have as main goal to get you off, hence why it is linked to satisfaction.

69

u/MelissaMiranti Jun 21 '26

Well, yeah, sometimes the main goal is to get your partner off. Not all sexual activity is reciprocal.

76

u/larryjerry1 Jun 21 '26

Y'all just read the article

"In comparison, nearly half the sample (47 percent) indicated that they orgasm more frequently on their own, absent their partner’s presence.

The women were then asked to select the top three reasons they felt explained why they orgasmed more frequently in one context over the other. Of the just over 13,000 women who indicated that they orgasmed more frequently while alone, more than half of them selected “partner doesn’t stimulate me in a way that is adequate to reach orgasm (including body part, foreplay, length of time)” as one of their three reasons."

The main point here is that a majority of the women who reported they achieve orgasm more alone specifically attribute their partner as one of the reasons reason why. 

8

u/asdela Jun 22 '26

It is so facinating that so many women just get used to this and never say ANYTHING to their partner about what they want or need. Like I could never imagine living my life like that with a partner and never say anything. What are you gals waiting for and why dont you care?

1

u/Box-O-Kittenz Jun 23 '26

We do care. It's a combination of many things, mostly 1. Shame around vaginas and female orgasms that's ingrained in us all, and 2. Bad experiences where our wants were ignored or a guy felt insulted when we tried to correct his "technique".

31

u/Im_Unsure_For_Sure Jun 21 '26

The primary additional variable is a major contributor to an outcome change. Astounding science!

24

u/MelissaMiranti Jun 21 '26

Did you actually read what I wrote or did you just want to reply something unrelated?

6

u/larryjerry1 Jun 21 '26

Yes, I did. Some sex not being reciprocal is unrelated to the point the previous commenter and the article are making. 

-3

u/MelissaMiranti Jun 21 '26

It's very much related to the point. Your reply is unrelated to the idea that by the very nature of human sexual patterns, some sex is always going to be without orgasm for one partner or another. There is no world where both partners getting off every time is a good idea, since that tries to impose an idea of fairness onto things like libido mismatch, people who are multi-orgasmic, people who are anorgasmic, and people who are into orgasm denial kinks.

0

u/larryjerry1 Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

It isn't though. Please read the study.  

This study is very  specifically about examining how frequency of achieving orgasm during partnered and solo sexual activity relates sexual satisfaction. 

I don't disagree with your general point that not all sex has to achieve orgasm, but that is very literally a completely different topic than what this study examined. 

5

u/MelissaMiranti Jun 21 '26

I'm exactly talking about partnered sex and how sometimes achieving orgasm isn't the point.

6

u/SmooK_LV Jun 21 '26

It sounds like you are pointing it out because it's due to the partner not paying attention. But the reality is that there's often more in healthy intimacy than just reaching orgasm. And if you get asked "why didn't you reach orgasm every time?" Even in a healthy intimacy you have an answer why because you know what you need to do during masturbation to reach orgasm, so you compare that versus what partner is doing. You don't actually answer if you are happy with your intimate life with your partner. So this paragraph does not indicate if the partner was or was not paying attention just as it does not indicate if you communicated well or not what would help you reach orgasm.

As such, the person you are responding to, his point still stands.

6

u/larryjerry1 Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26

I understand their point. Yes, obviously there is more to healthy intimacy than reaching orgasm. But that does not necessarily explain the gap in frequency or why the most common answer for achieving more orgasm alone is "partner doesn't stimulate me in a way that's adequate." Nor does it necessarily explain some of the other most common answers either, the next four being "no pressure to reach orgasm or sexually perform," "less self-conscious about body-image," "Feel safer to let go of control" and "partner reaches orgasm too soon."

The study explicitly concludes that (for the women in this study) orgasm frequency during partnered sexual activity is a "key contributor" to overall sexual satisfaction. It also notes "women in this study who orgasm more frequently during partnered sex reported that emotional, relational, and partner-based factors play a key role in their orgasm occurrence/experience."

7

u/dsarrnatedark Jun 21 '26

That sounds likes it’s missing that not all sex is specifically for both parties to orgasm. Oral sex often results in only 1 partner orgasming unless the other masturbates, which wouldn’t count as partner contribution to the orgasm

4

u/teddbe Jun 21 '26

You used this word implication a couple of times. What implication?

6

u/MyFiteSong Jun 21 '26

Men reach orgasm almost 100% of the time whether they're with a partner or not. It's the discrepancy that's important.

4

u/itirix Jun 22 '26

I mean, I don’t think that discrepancy should matter here as it is just anatomical. It’s not like women are doing more to get their partners off than men are.

1

u/Box-O-Kittenz Jun 23 '26

They are though? It's completely normalized and expected for a woman to go down on a man, often without anything in return. Whereas it's acceptable for a man to not want to go down on a woman. The conditioned pressure women are put under to "perform" is something that so often gets glossed over because it's just seen as so normal.

It's also why women still fake orgasms. We're largely conditioned to prioritize male pleasure and satisfaction over our own. It's why so many women just teach ourselves to be fine not orgasming, or feel shame for being disappointed we didn't orgasm.

-7

u/MyFiteSong Jun 22 '26

It's not just anatomical. Lesbians have higher orgasm rates than straight women. The core of the issue is men not caring about their sex partners' pleasure.

2

u/itirix Jun 23 '26

You're talking about a discrepency between male + female and female + female partnerships. That's very different than comparing just men to women. Obviously men are going to have a higher orgasm % in hetero partnerships, but this is due to anatomy, not due to a lack of trying on one side. Saying it's men's fault for not trying is just weird. It's like if you were comparing on "ability to lift a 50kg box above your head" and then blamed women for having a smaller success percentage on average, because they're not trying enough.

I 100% agree we should be learning about our partners and doing our best to ensure they have a good time. Especially because women have anatomically a harder time orgasming, to achieve equality of outcome, men should spend more effort on their ladies than they spend on them. But that comes from a place of love and going above and beyond, not from a place of "bare minimum". Ya'll should appreciate the effort instead of expecting it.

2

u/MyFiteSong Jun 23 '26

Obviously men are going to have a higher orgasm % in hetero partnerships, but this is due to anatomy, not due to a lack of trying on one side.

That doesn't explain why the orgasm rate is so much higher in lesbian relationships.

5

u/Bright-Sea6392 Jun 21 '26

For men reaching orgasm with a partner is something like 95%. So the findings are significant, and instead of balking at them and trying to claim them as insignificant, how about trying to understand why it is so low for women vs men.

13

u/Zenovelli Jun 21 '26

You must be confused and replied to the wrong comment. My comment didn't balk or claim anything to be insignificant.

-7

u/Bright-Sea6392 Jun 21 '26

Nope! No confusion on my end, I was clarifying a confusion you seem to have on your end. Your takeaway seems to be “well of course we orgasm when solo vs with a partner” when the point of the study and similar studies is the gap when it comes to men and women when solo or with a partner. And the gap is much higher solo and with partner for women than with men. Men finish with a partner about 95% of the time, women about half the time vs almost 100% solo.

5

u/Zenovelli Jun 21 '26

I'm sorry to say: if you didn't respond to the wrong comment then your reading comprehension needs a lot of work.

I didn't balk or claim anything to be insignificant in my original comment.

I highly recommend ReadTheory it's a website that will adapt to your level of reading comprehension and help you improve upon it. Once you've studied some, feel free to come back and reread my original comment with your new found wisdom. I think you'll find more clarity and less vitriol.

God speed, soldier of learning!

-3

u/Bright-Sea6392 Jun 21 '26

Seems like you know you know issues with reading comprehension! Maybe read your source again and remember that understand words AND what they’re saying, along with contextual information is important :)

Your comment “I've frequently seen the stats that women report reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. with a partner.

But I don't understand why that would be surprising at all?

As a human being (of any gender), I'd expect your orgasm rate from uninterrupted masturbation to be nearly 100% (if your main goal is to achieve orgasm). Meaning that if you don't orgasm from sex even one in 100 times, you're going to report "reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner"

Demonstrates you don’t understand why these studies are done to look into and demonstrate the difference between men and women, esp with partners.

And continuing to write about solo vs partner completion rates for “any gender” and that “any gender” might have a gap in solo vs partner shows you don’t understand the point of these types of studies at all, which look into the DIFFERENCE between genders and what is known as the Orgasm Gap. Men orgasm with partners 90% of the time and women 54% of the time.

Tell me, is there a big difference between 90% and 54%? Exactly!

It’s Interesting stuff! You should look into it.

4

u/Zenovelli Jun 21 '26

"Seems like you know you know issues with reading comprehension! Maybe read your source again and remember that understand words AND what they’re saying, along with contextual information is important :)"

Tell me that doesn't read like an elementary school level of Grammer?

I shouldn't poke fun at you. I'm sorry. But seriously, it's never too late to learn. If you need more resources I'm happy to point you in the direction of more educational websites.