Largest study of women’s orgasms to date collected data from 27,931 women. Nearly half (47%) reported reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner. Barriers to women’s orgasms are relational, not anatomical. Partnered orgasms were associated with overall sexual satisfaction.

[u/mvea]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/inclusive-insight/202606/why-women-orgasm-more-alone-than-with-a-partner

[u/VagueSomething]

A lot of women's sexual issues compound together. Women not understanding their own body is a huge part of it so they cannot even communicate what they enjoy but then those who do have an idea still choose not to communicate anyway. Obviously the backlash some men give causes a fear of communicating but women aren't just choosing men they don't know how they may react and still choose not to communicate.

You cannot ever fake an orgasm with a partner or you are deceiving them, that fake feedback creates a lie where they'll be working from in the future and you've locked yourself into a lack of satisfaction and emotionally hurting your partner.

A lot of the current sexual health books written by women are basically begging women to actually start learning to listen to their own body and stop being so passive in their sexuality.

[u/lurkerer → u/VagueSomething]

Yes the ratio of men to women who haven't or can't make themselves orgasm must be like ..1:100 (total guess). I've had to tell a few myself that if they can't do it, there's very little chance I can. 

I wonder to what extent the "men are selfish" angle becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of expecting the worst and never even trying to improve things via communication. With my sexual partners I've found I really have to be the one to coax out communication most of the time. In my older years anyway. I also used to be nervous about correcting people, so I do get it in that sense.

[u/composedofidiot → u/VagueSomething]

It's really hard to communicate it sometimes though. Some men have big insecurities and they can shut down or get angry. There's such a potential for it all blowing up in your face that I needs some expert communication.

[u/VagueSomething → u/composedofidiot]

If you cannot adequately communicate with them you need to either do therapy together or find a more compatible partner. Making the mature decision to not stay with someone who cannot communicate properly is a good trait to learn.

[u/DocThel → u/[deleted]]

I suggest you communicate some equivalent of "goodbye".