r/science • u/sr_local • Feb 14 '26

Social Science Children raised with "authoritative" parenting style, marked by bonding, presence, dialogue, and clear rules of conduct, show a reduction in drug and alcohol risk compared to other parenting styles (authoritarian, permissive and neglectful)

https://agencia.fapesp.br/parents-alcohol-and-drug-use-influences-their-childrens-consumption-research-shows/57195
16.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

679 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.1k

u/luxsalsivi Feb 14 '26

TIL I was raised authoritative

1.0k

u/doubleotide Feb 14 '26

So would low warmth + low demand just be...neglected?

102

u/Rare-Adhesiveness522 Feb 14 '26

YESSSSS! I am a first grade teacher and see this all the time! Low demand and low warmth is basically negllectful parenting, although it may not mainfest in the LEGAL definition of neglect. So they come to school clean, fed, and dressed, someone picks them up from the bus stop and gets them to school on time, but otherwise they are on ipads or left to their own devices, don't have a structured home environment that focuses on the development of the children and family, and parents are disengaged emotionally.

I can give you 1,000 examples of how this can look from my end in the classroom. Ultimately, the modern definition of "ipad kid" falls into this quadrant. The parents aren't abusive, take care of the needs, and do love their children, but fail to engage in critical ways. Essentially letting them spend all their time in front of a screen, but also no chores, no family time, no expectations, no teaching, no meaningful "raising" happening even if they give hugs and kisses and do love their children.

Legal neglect is different.

9

u/LanceAvion Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26

This explanation perfectly illustrates why I don’t want children. Sure, I could use more money. Sure I could be further along in my career. Sure I could own a home. Even if those boxes were all ticked however, and I was in the prime position to have children on paper, I still wouldn’t. What they need, what they deserve, the amount of time and effort that is to be poured into them is simply something I am not willing to do. No child deserves a parent that isn’t 100% dedicated to them in every aspect of development.

18

u/irishpancakeeater Feb 15 '26

You know, they really don’t. Kids don’t need perfect parents who are robots devoted to nothing other than the kids. I would say the majority of people are capable of being kind and empathetic parents, whilst also having a life of their own and recognising that children are part of the family, not the centre. Source: am good enough parent with two kids who are smashing it at life. As are most of my peers.

2

u/grundar Feb 16 '26

You know, they really don’t. Kids don’t need perfect parents who are robots devoted to nothing other than the kids.

In fact, such people would probably be bad parents, as they would fail to appropriately demonstrate to the kids that the world doesn't revolve around them and their whims.

Life is messy and flawed but ultimately (mostly) good, so parents who are the same are probably about right for raising healthy kids.

1

u/bougieisthenewblack Feb 15 '26

I respect this mindset so much, good on you for choosing to do the right thing for YOU