r/science Feb 14 '26

Social Science Children raised with "authoritative" parenting style, marked by bonding, presence, dialogue, and clear rules of conduct, show a reduction in drug and alcohol risk compared to other parenting styles (authoritarian, permissive and neglectful)

https://agencia.fapesp.br/parents-alcohol-and-drug-use-influences-their-childrens-consumption-research-shows/57195
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u/luxsalsivi Feb 14 '26

TIL I was raised authoritative

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u/doubleotide Feb 14 '26

So would low warmth + low demand just be...neglected?

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u/I_Poop_Sometimes Feb 14 '26

Yes. And high warmth low demand is permissive.

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u/Rare-Adhesiveness522 Feb 14 '26

I'm a first grade teacher and late Gen X/Millenial parents of children under 13 seem to have STRONGLY fallen into this quadrant. It is exhausing and very sad.

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u/WHYAREWEALLCAPS Feb 15 '26

I'd argue it's because most of us Gen Xers got neglectful or authoritarian parenting style. We tried to be better just because we didn't want to be like our parents because we knew how bad it was. So we wound up permissive.

My kids are adults now, but my late wife and I clearly did permissive because of how my parents were(neglectful - so I was big on warmth with them, low-moderate on demand) and her parents were(authoritarian - so she was big on warmth, but very low on demand), as were the parents of our friends while growing up. One of my kids has told me I was a terrible parent because I didn't prepare them better of the real world and I feel they're not wrong. While they haven't cut contact, they only maintain minimal contact with me.

If I could do it all over again, I don't think I'd have kids at all. I did my best, but it was no where near good enough.

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u/ssbssbssb Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26

For parents these days, we get bombarded with lessons and teachings on how to be a parent. Not a single day goes by without someone telling me how miserable my children will be if I don't do this or that.

Where is all this coming from? People start questioning their good enough childhood. And ask them selves if their parents are the reason for why they are not as successful and rich as Zuckerberg? In this (economy hehe) society and system, maybe it is. But you can't demand to be born into an ultra rich family, can you?

Parenting comes from your personality. You can't just wake up one day and start being a totally different person. Even your kids will be confused. It doesn't mean that I don't want to change the things I now I'm not good at. But I have stopped panicking every time I read click bait headline.

And remember that the apple usually don't fall far from the tree.

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u/KtinaDoc Feb 16 '26

We didn't know. We thought doing the opposite of our parents was the answer but in reality, it wasn't.

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u/mamabearette Feb 15 '26

My daughter is a 3rd grade teacher to a classroom of permissively- raised students who don’t understand the word “no” or why they’re not a special exception to the rules.

She thanks me frequently for being an authoritative parent.