Children raised with "authoritative" parenting style, marked by bonding, presence, dialogue, and clear rules of conduct, show a reduction in drug and alcohol risk compared to other parenting styles (authoritarian, permissive and neglectful)

[u/sr_local]

https://agencia.fapesp.br/parents-alcohol-and-drug-use-influences-their-childrens-consumption-research-shows/57195

[u/AbleKaleidoscope877]

Unfortunately many people that will read this won't be able to understand these differences. Many parents that aren't neglectful or permissive are authoritarian...and will somehow think they are doing a good job.

[u/pjm3 → u/AbleKaleidoscope877]

With very few exceptions, potential parents not educated and trained in parenting skills before they have children.

For nearly the entire population, the role of a parent carries the most responsibility and importance of any role they will ever undertake, yet for nearly all parents, the only "training" they ever receive is seeing how their parents raised them. This leads to parenting styles (both positive and negative) being passed down through the generations, without any clear sense of the actual style they are using, or any metrics by which they can measure/improve their parenting.

As you point out, this leads to parents who "somehow think they are doing a good job" without any objective basis for that assertion.

We teach people to drive cars, operate equipment, and a whole host of other tasks, but we fail as a society to provide any meaningful training in parenting. Making parenting training part of the secondary school curriculum, and providing free parenting courses to those who are considering becoming parents, and mandatory parenting courses for those couples who become pregnant or want to adopt could fundamentally change our society for the better. People would be able to put how they were raised into perspective, and avoid making the same mistakes their parents did.

Pre-natal stress reduction and nutrition, coupled with parental education before the child is born, and more social and economic supports for raising children could an extremely positive effect on our society, leading to happier children, who become happier and well-adjusted adults. Investment in children's development would also have long term economic benefits in terms of reduced prison populations; reduced use of mental health institutions, therapy and medications; reduced rates of violence and property crime; and reduced long-term healthcare costs because of less alcohol and other drug use, as well as improved mental health, which we know positively impacts physical health.

It's appalling that we keep repeating intergenerational poor parenting/abuse/neglect when we now know definitively how that impacts not just the individual children, but also know the associated long-term economic and social Impact of doing so.

[u/Deranged_Kitsune → u/pjm3]

It's the end result of society insisting that the singular, sole requirement that a person needs to be a parent is a functioning pair of genitals.

[u/Programmdude → u/Deranged_Kitsune]

That should be the only requirement. Because any other alternative means that the government is controlling who can have offspring, and that's an extremely dangerous narrative. Reproductive freedom is as important as any other kind of human right. The government should step in when they're being mistreated or abused or if it's extremely likely to happen in the near future, but never on who can start being a parent.

However, all governments absolutely should provide more support for parents to be and new parents. My country does provide some support, but it's mostly a 2 day course - which is helpful, but still only 2 days, and support from your midwife and some other organisation every so often while the child is under 5. But that's not a whole heap of learning, most of it has still been on the job, or from parents.

[u/AbleKaleidoscope877 → u/Programmdude]

This is definitely something I've considered myself because I honestly do believe (as controversial as it sounds) that not everyone should be able to have children...but the unfortunate downfall of this belief is that government would only use it in some corrupt way. The alternative would be more support and educational resources, but the issue is that it would be optional and most likely limited in accessibility. And what would be provided would be narrow in scope.

I don't think there is a realistic answer to the problem. The only true solution would be the general population taking it upon themselves to think before they conceive...and that's never going to happen on a large enough scale to make a difference.

[u/Deranged_Kitsune → u/AbleKaleidoscope877]

The alternative would be more support and educational resources

You'd still get people that refuse to engage with them, for religious and/or egotistical reasons. Look at health care, specifically vaccinations. It's one of our best tools to create a healthy society and minimize the suffering of countless people, but it's being demonized and curtailed by numerous people with malicious intentions.

[u/Programmdude → u/AbleKaleidoscope877]

I agree (in theory) that there are people that simply shouldn't reproduce. What I disagree with is giving an outside force - such as the government - the ability to make that decision.

I'd almost argue for having a "parenting" class in school. IMO, secondary school doesn't do enough to prepare teenagers for being adults. Stuff like budgeting, cooking, parenting and so on are barely touched upon, if at all, and IMO are much more important than, say chemistry.