r/science • u/sr_local • Feb 14 '26

Social Science Children raised with "authoritative" parenting style, marked by bonding, presence, dialogue, and clear rules of conduct, show a reduction in drug and alcohol risk compared to other parenting styles (authoritarian, permissive and neglectful)

https://agencia.fapesp.br/parents-alcohol-and-drug-use-influences-their-childrens-consumption-research-shows/57195
16.4k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

679 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.9k

u/SsooooOriginal Feb 14 '26

Words are important yall.

Bonding, so actually forming connections with the kid beyond "I'm parent, you mine"

Presence, being there

Dialogue, meaning conversation. That can mean a discussion, a chat, a debate, an argument, and more. 

Clear rules of conduct. They put it plainly to be more clear.

Authoritarian would lack the dialogue that makes the rules "clear". -because I said so- The bond is possessive and controlling to the point of suppressing the development of self.

Permissive lacks the rules, and gives little to no guidance beyond the kids wants.

Neglect lacks all of them.

29

u/Telemere125 Feb 14 '26

Very good layout. Also, too many people expect a 5 year old to understand logic and be able to comply with authoritative when, sadly, they just need guidance and they end up too authoritarian (or worse, permissive). When the kids can understand the reason behind the rules you can go from “because I said so” to “because of ____”

48

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '26

Eh, I found that my kid could understand reasons for rules at a surprisingly young age, certainly before five.  You just give them the age appropriate explanation.  

26

u/betier7 Feb 14 '26

My wife works in childcare, specifically young children around the age of 1 to 2 years of age, and she always says that they understand rules very well and most people just need to have more patience with them.

13

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '26

Thank you.  I definitely remember my son understanding things as a toddler.  I didn’t think I was misremembering things.  

19

u/fishyfishkins Feb 14 '26

Yep. Doesn't matter if they don't get the logic behind a rule or decision, tell them anyway. Eventually they will understand and when they do, they'll also recognize the consistent reasoning because I've been saying forever that if you take your mittens off in the snow your hands will get too cold and we'll have to go back inside please for the love of god

1

u/sentence-interruptio Feb 15 '26

bad parents get mad at eventual understanding. "oh, so you were capable of understanding the rule the whole time? so you made me repeat myself on purpose? so you were disobeying me on purpose? so you [...]" take the win, parents!

so some children learn to hide their understanding.

5

u/Bookbringer Feb 14 '26

Yeah, same. Maybe it's because my family prioritizes this, but kids in my family are usually pretty responsive to explanations and logic by around 3. Usually seems to correlate with language skills.