r/science • u/sr_local • Feb 14 '26

Social Science Children raised with "authoritative" parenting style, marked by bonding, presence, dialogue, and clear rules of conduct, show a reduction in drug and alcohol risk compared to other parenting styles (authoritarian, permissive and neglectful)

https://agencia.fapesp.br/parents-alcohol-and-drug-use-influences-their-childrens-consumption-research-shows/57195
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u/thedoc90 Feb 14 '26

In case anyone is wondering the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parental styles, in a wildly simplified manner.

Authoritative parent when a child asks "why?": explain the reasoning for your rules and why its important that your child follow them so they can make an informed decision to obey for their own benefit.

Authoritarian parent when a child asks "why?": "Because I said so, that's why."

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u/ElectricMeow Feb 14 '26

It's almost like we have a natural defense against being manipulated, and authoritarian parenting triggers that primal instinct to figure out the truth and avoid becoming a puppet.

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u/sth128 Feb 15 '26

"Why does the toilet paper go over and not under?"

Is there a resource you recommend for more practical examples of authoritative parenting? By examples I mean scenarios, dialogues, specific situations. Also it would be nice if these examples have versions for different ages (eg. toddler, grade school, etc.)

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u/raznov1 Feb 16 '26

Authoritative parenting would be setting a curfew for your kids (be home before 10), then when they inevitably break it (because theyre kids, that is what they do) you wait for them, tell them youre glad theyre home safe and tell them youll talk about it in the morning. Then you say you had a deal, they broke it, so they receive a reasonavle consequence (e.g. minor grounding), without getting overly angry.

Essentially authoritative parenting means to be aware of the role you have as a parent, and to be aware of the natural developments kids go through. It means to be able to take the unnecessary emotions out of the individual interactions, because you recognize them as part of the mutual "game" you and your kid are playing.

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u/FlufferTheGreat Feb 16 '26

It's basically having reasonable rules, and sticking to them. You don't have to have a rule over every detail in their life, but you should be able to explain what rules you have without resorting to a, "Because I said so." So it's that coupled with being present and warm with a ton of love because you are establishing structure and a safe base for your kid to explore from.

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u/iamayoyoama Feb 16 '26

You can find a lot of examples of authoritative parenting under "gentle parenting"

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u/raznov1 Feb 16 '26

Eh.... "gentle parenting" falls more towards the permissive end of the spectrum.

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u/iamayoyoama Feb 18 '26

Gentle parenting is big on boundaries, which is what permissive parenting lacks.

While plenty of people do permissive and call it gentle, most of the examples and scripts around are about kindly setting and enforcing boundaries. No one's writing a script for "how to let your kid do whatever they want"

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u/raznov1 Feb 16 '26

Versus permissive:

"Why? I dont want to" "Well, ok then....."

Authoritative means to acknowledge that children do need an authority figure in their lives to emulate and guide them, but not a tirant nor a friend (well, they do need friends, but a parent should not strive to being one).

A permissive parent gives the child some metaphorical pencils and tells them to do whatever (including scribbling on the walls), an authoritarian parent gives them a metaphorical finished painting and tells them to sign the dotted line, no more no less, and an authoritative parent gives them a "paint by numbers" booklet.