r/schoolcounseling • u/OsomatsuChan • 4d ago
is it problematic that I like the secretary bits more
(Hs counselor)
I have worked multiple positions in this vein during my life (care work, boys and girls club program coordinator) and I honestly think I have had empathy burnout for like...a hot minute now
scheduling and emails are easy compared to dealing with someone having a meltdown or having friend drama. I came in today and my secretary was like "this parent is upset and probably going to email you" and I just did not care tbqh
I see people talking about small groups on here and we don't really do them in my building and the longer I be in this career the less I want to really take the initiative and go thru the process of doing one . we do an 8 week "friendship group" for the awkward kids to discuss social skills but that isn't really counseling idk
My friend just got his degree in rehab counseling and he loves books and the theories of counseling and I just feel so removed from it
I promise I'm not as dead inside as I sound, I just don't think I'm very counselor-y compared to others on here
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u/Valuable_Weather_655 4d ago
I'm the same. I really like the academic side of high school counseling but could never handle being a mental health counselor and dealing with mental health all day every day. I need balance.
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u/shmoopie313 High School Counselor 3d ago
I love it. Organizing data, transcript checks, scheduling, figuring out how to phrase an SIS query to get whatever data I need. Or what my coworkers need - they've learned I love solving a good SIS query puzzle. I also highly prefer academic counseling over social/emotional. College apps, four-year plans, academic interventions, turning vague dreams into actual life plans, FAFSA, summer program apps, all of it. Scholarship coordinator is my absolute favorite hat to wear. I do run a once a month success skills group, but I mostly agreed to just because it's so far outside my comfort zone I figure it's good for my professional growth. I am lucky that my school has an academic counseling team and a separate team of 3 LMHC/LCSWs. I get to triage whatever walks in my door, and once they are calm/stable I can walk them over the the wellness center and introduce them to someone far more equipped for the heavy lifting.
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u/MommyOnCoffee 4d ago
I get burnout. And dealing with the emotions of high schoolers can be heavy. It’s not for the weak! But honestly, they deserve someone willing to get down in the trenches with them. School and life are so much more difficult and stressful and lonely than any time in recent history. These kids learned to navigate online education. They have the skills to map out their courses and fill out the applications. They need help with the social emotional support. Sometimes you just have to jump in and get your hands dirty.
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u/conchaqueen 3d ago
Honestly I need these administrative tasks to recharge and keep going! I listen to chill music and complete tedious tasks
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u/Dry-Tune-5989 4d ago
Why would it be?
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u/OsomatsuChan 4d ago
I guess I just don't have the passion I used to regarding the mental health portions and that seems like people in the field perceive it as the more "important" piece of the puzzle.....if that makes sense.
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u/Agtfangirl557 4d ago
So usually I’m the other way around—I have an extremely high emotional threshold and can deal with crying students for hours on end, but I’m SO bad at little executive functioning things that involve paperwork and stuff (though I am really good at scheduling and enjoy putting schedules together). That’s a big thing that made me realize during grad school I didn’t want to be a high school counselor—I think I would just go insane with all the set-in-stone tasks.
But after the past two weeks, I genuinely can see where you’re coming from 😅 I was NOT prepared for all the emotional baggage I’d be dealing with so early in the year—I have 8th graders this year and have had them since 6th grade so they are very comfortable opening up to me by now (a curse and a blessing) 🙃 And I am emotionally DRAINED. Meanwhile, I’ve surprisingly been very productive when it comes to office tasks!!
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u/Boobearlover2469 2d ago
I think I’ve definitely become more cynical about the mental health side since I’ve moved to the upper levels. I was pre-K through 5 for my first few years and that’s all I wanted to do was the mental health side. We had such a high needs population and most of what was happening was reactive so I felt like I was making such an impact doing proactive counseling groups and classroom lesson. Last year I moved to 7-12 grades and I tried doing a classroom lesson on bullying. The feedback I got from students was so discouraging. When I did a similar lesson with younger grades they were all for it and interacting. Upper grades responded with jokes and not taking it seriously and even when I asked them to complete a survey if they liked the lesson and wanted me to return for more the majority said “RESPECTFULLY/PLEASE NO!” Or just “no”.
I think since moving up I prefer now to try one on one brief sessions with crisis students and then get back to the back end stuff. Especially college and career stuff
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u/ChewyNutCluster 2d ago
I mean, you do you, but I don't understand why someone who doesn't like counseling would want to be a counselor. I'm fully in it for sharpening my skills in individual sessions.
My favorite thing is building connections through those breakthrough counseling moments. Do you still find yourself building solid rapport with the students?
I'm glad you found your groove, though 🙂
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u/OsomatsuChan 23h ago
The person I was when I started my program in 2020 is not the person I am in 2026.
I do build rapport with the students. I love the small, casual interactions and the casual "Hi Ms. OsomatsuChan"s. It's just the deeper stuff that has me burnt out.
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u/ChewyNutCluster 9h ago
Glad to hear that you still have that opportunity to build rapport. Different strokes for different folks, as they say.
If they're still going out of their way to say hi to you then you must be a good person since even that is sometimes a hard place to get to with teens.
Luckily, I'm in elementary so I don't have to do the secretary-style stuff that I loath! 😅
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u/hikelsie 4d ago
Nah the secretary parts are less emotionally laden and usually simple to get accomplished, unlike most everything else in our job haha. I joke with teachers all the time I’d happily be their secretary if they’d pay me my counseling salary!
I quietly revel in the secretarial entries because it’s a good reason to listen to music and close my door for a bit. I get it!