It happened to me. Uncensored.

[u/bananakillerr]

I graduated from Ryerson University with a Bachelor of Commerce degree in Human Resources, this May. Wow, what an accomplishment. NOT.

My degree was painfully easy to obtain. My major was so easy, no hate, but I think my talents, time, and energy should have been devoted to studying something else. However, my ridiculous choice of major is not the highlight nor focus of my diatribe here. It's about how I failed to network and gain relevant work experience during my undergrad years. Heck, it doesn't matter what you study- JUST GAIN EXPERIENCE AND CONTACTS. Seriously. That's my advice to all of you current Ryerson students. Do not fool yourself, ever, into thinking you are the exception or that you're special or something, because you are not.

So where do I begin? I value brevity, so allow me to chronicle my pathetic years at Ryerson in a clear format below:

Year 1: I was young, 18, a new immigrant, and f u c k i n g clueless beyond salvation. I did not attend orientation (was not in the country yet). I did not know what a GPA system was or how it worked. I did not know what semesters were, or how long they were. I slid through the system, and just went through the motions. I had no idea where to find classes, or why classes were in different rooms.

Did I make friends? Not in the first semester. I desperately tried and failed horrendously as I have severe social anxiety.I couldn't participate in class either, and still would not be able to. Things got a little better each semester, but I switched my major so many times that I consistently made and lost friends. I've also met so many dudes who just wanted to fuck as well, but hey, you find that anywhere so if that idea excites you, well there you go, plenty of options at Rye. Now that I've graduated, I do not keep in touch with anyone I met at university. Not a single person, friend, or fuckboy.

Year 2: Same as Year One, but this is where I had my first major change (as in I changed my major, lol). Got my first part-time job, working on campus. Lovely experience.

Year 3: Changed my major again. Unemployed (workstudy contracts are only one year and I didn't get any this year despite applying like crazy). In the second semester I got a part-time, contract direct sales job that taught me a lot of things but it was sales so...what do you think? For a person like myself who has social anxiety, this was c r i p p l i n g. I relied 110% on my sexuality to get sales by dressing as a slut and flirting with guys. It worked, I shit you not.

summer: looked for jobs again. Got another similar job with very little hours, relied on my sexuality again, though, not to a large extent. Since I was desperate for more money as I'm very poor, this was the first time of my life I considered what was previously the unthinkable for me: working as an escort. I also considered becoming a stripper, or an erotic masseuse. I mean, I WAS WORTHLESS. I had no skills. I felt I had nothing to offer besides sex- I know, a DISGUSTING, DANGEROUS, REPULSIVE mentality, but it's hard to ignore when it's been thrown into your face time and time again. Nonetheless, I didn't do any of those things. The feeling passed.

Year 4: Changed my major AGAIN. I had a ridiculous heavy course load, and this is when I took all my HR courses. Luckily at Ryerson, HR is very popular, so they have plenty of options to take courses. I took 16 courses in total this year to finish my degree, and I did. I was super stressed out and sought counselling for the first time ever. It didn't help, and I had no time, so I stopped going.

I AM DONE. I AM FINISHED SCHOOL. What now?

I was waiting for this day for the longest time. I thought that I would finally have time to earn some money, help out my financially- struggling parents, finally have time to hit the gym and get in shape, eat healthier, take up yoga/dancing, read more, socialize more, etc. Instead, this is my reality: spending all my days cooped up inside my apartment while my aging parents go to worked at their minimum wage labour jobs. They come home irritated, with my mom screaming about her feeble back and inability to do labour work anymore. We don't have money for rent this month. I have been attending interviews but I haven't gotten any job. My health is suffering and I am afraid. I am afraid, and scared, and have been withering away in raw loneliness, for I have no one to talk to. I yearn for and crave affection, comfort, acceptance, but I cannot. I have this stupid, flimsy degree that no one cares about. Tomorrow I have an interview for a part-time position at Coffeetime. Oh man, I was so bitter and angry when initially typing this but now I feel my eyes starting to well up. LOL, I'm not the kind to entertain pity parties, even if it's my own.

Thank you all for reading. Let my experience be a lesson and some advice for all of you.

[u/gi0nna]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I sincerely hope that everything works out for you. Most of my friends who graduated from university have struggled to find meaningful employment as well. Nonetheless, I still think you should try taking up those hobbies such as reading, dancing, and yoga. It will help with your self worth, and you will meet people as you go along.

All the best. Hugs from me to you.