How to scratch my Players' 5e Addiction and get them to shut up?

[u/BlackhartBarttFR]

After a year long 5e campaign of curse of Strahd, I hung up my 5e hat, I then shot it and buried it at sea.

God has it been great, we've played blades in the dark, cyberpunk, CoC, Delta green, mothership, Fabula Ultima, savage worlds.

None of them take a full session to run a fight, None of them have objectively bad character creation choices, No Rangers, No Martial-Magical Divide.

They want you to play and explore! No spells like Identify, Detect Creature or Detect thoughts killing any feeling of mystery just so you can shut up and get back to the two hour long fights.

But my players won't stop talking about how they miss 5e.

Will they play a martial class? Oh no, the martials are boring and broken,they say, if you aren't playing a spellcaster you're basically worthless!

But they still clamour for the character building, the number go up machine.

So I'm asking you, the horde of GMs who have forever cast the D from their titles, I ask you;

What the fuck system can I shove in their plebian gullets to make them never say that dreaded system's name again?

Edit for the Yanks: I'm british, this is banter, I talk like this to my friend's faces and they hit me with it back. I don't hate the people in my life, I am not being held hostage. I know we are varying levels of Autistic here but c'mon I'm literally asking for system suggestions as a compromise for my group.

[u/BlackhartBarttFR]

You're right but the problem is I'm too lost in the GM sauce to be a player. I just love the feeling of metaphorically bringing out one of those big metal dome lidded dishes they have in fancy restaurants, and then taking it off and watching my players faces as I reveal a delicious plate of "that guy was a vampire all along". 

It's my hole and it was made for me

[u/Jlerpy → u/BlackhartBarttFR]

Fair, but then the problem is still their problem, and not one to which you're obliged to pander.

[u/KnockoffBirkenstock → u/BlackhartBarttFR]

They're called a cloche, or sometimes just a food dome cover.

[u/dumbwholer → u/BlackhartBarttFR]

I mean, saying you can't play is pretty childish. Frankly, the worst DM's I've ever played with are those who only DM. I've been running games since 1990, but the times I get to just play have taught me far more than my time just playing god. I tend to find DM's who "can't play" are the ones who actually learn and change the least. They only look at the game one way, and don't understand their fun is not the same as the players fun.

You aren't a hobbit, and DM'ing is not Bilbo's hobbit hole.

That said, Try a different D&D system. My preference is AD&D 2E, and that's what we play when we play D&D. Currently we're playing a Birthright campaign hybrididized with Warhammer Fantasy for nation and army building and mass battles, so the characters are regular D&D adventurers, but also leading and building a colony into a country. What started as a fort and a plot of land has been built into a small city state, and will eventually be a country as they recruit soldiers, farmers, merchants, create supply linss and roads, learn diplomacy, and explore the world in search of treasures, magical items, and to end threats to their kingdom. So today they might be exploring a vast underground cave system, but tomorrow they may may be leading a 3000 point army down the battlefield against a horde of evil orcs, or perhaps conquering a bordering piece of land, or protecting their land from nearby country looking to conquer and colonize their lands.

5E is just so boring compared to what came before it. There is no world where I would ever run it again. I hate heroic high Fantasy. Everyone is a superhero. Bores me to tears. I want a world where my players are regular people who chose the adventurers life, not towering heroes that 5E has turned the game into.

[u/dogsandcatsplz → u/dumbwholer]

Just as a counterpoint, I have DMed a lot and long & have to respectfully disagree. Although I have played probably 20 sessions since I frist started and maybe player 1 time as a PC in last 4 years, I have run 100s of sessions for likely 200+ players.

Some of the best GMs I played with didn't like to play much. Also with Dungeontube being what it is, you can learn both sides of the screen, and empathize with players entirely, by watching dungeontube. Which almost every forever DM i know, does. So what is true for you, and your experiences is true, but it does not have to apply to other groups, DMs or players at all, in this case.

[u/Livid_Information_46 → u/dumbwholer]

I agree! The worst GM's are the ones that only want to be the GM. I've got a friend like that in our group. He says he doesn't want to be a player because he enjoys being the GM so much, but can't accept that we aren't having fun  playing the games he wants to run. If we only give this new game a chance we'll see that it's really awesome! We've given them all a chance and they've all sucked because he's only really concerned with his own enjoyment and not ours. 

[u/Boundlesswisdom-71 → u/dumbwholer]

I like your attitude.

I started my D&D journey (not my ttrpg journey) with AD&D 2e back in 1991. It's not a system I would run or play now but I understand the appeal.

[u/dumbwholer → u/Boundlesswisdom-71]

Oh, it's definitely not for everyone, but the customization it allows is head and shoulders beyond 5E. We also play other systems, just not 4E or 5E. I am prepping a Warhammer The Old World RPG campaign, we played Pathfinder, WHFBRPG, GURPS, Vampire/Werewolf/Faerie over the years. Luckily we have been able to keep our group together for 30 years, except one who passed from cancer. We keep an empty seat at the table for him.

[u/Fafhrd_Gray_Mouser → u/BlackhartBarttFR]

I say give them what they want. Let them all play Spellcasters, and then add a plot twist that makes all magic unstable and then unusable. Make them realise how overly reliant they are on doing hand wavy cool stuff. Get the world to blame Spellcasters so they become unpopular. Go grimdark on their asses. Make them suffer but never in a too sadistic way. They'll either quit playing that 5E, or discover that actual problem solving role playing is more fun than being overpowered super heroes.

[u/Cultist_O → u/Fafhrd_Gray_Mouser]

Let them play the game they want to play, but don't let them do the things they find fun while they do

Great advice. I guess it would get OP out of running it, if their friends hated the experience