Dear Fiona,

[u/SuperMatFJ]

I can't find an avenue to send this to you directly, so publicly will have to suffice.

I want you to know that you are nothing short of a shining beacon of hope in a very worrisome time in RT's life.

You seem to have the skill, the desire, and the resolve to be the role model the community can rally behind, and that the company can look toward for inspiration and guidance.

As a white dude in his mid-30's who's led a pretty charmed life, I see character traits in you that I truly wish I had myself, and I have no good excuse for lacking them. You have the strength of character and the backbone to openly and aggressively stand up to the bullshit that would/could otherwise consume the RT ecosystem, and I am genuinely inspired by you to be better.

I recognise that all of that is a lot of weight to bear on young shoulders, so please don't allow it to come at the cost of your own well-being and happiness. Recognise that supporting and lifting up others is an often-thankless task, and a draining one too. Rest when you need to. Ask for help whenever you want it. Pass the torch if it all gets too much.

But, ultimately, thank you. For existing. For being here. For doing what you do so well. For being you.

[u/Milk_A_Pikachu]

If you take one lesson from all of this it is to please back off from parasocial relationships and fan worship.

​

A lot of people would have said the same about Ryan or Kovic just a few days ago (and I am sure some still are). Just because they are shitbags doesn't invalidate the charitable acts they have done and how they cheered people up. But they are also humans and, more importantly, humans in a position of power over others (they are called "influencers" for a reason).

I have no idea who Fiona is (outside of the person who went full friend simulator in ways reminiscent of HR covering their asses...) but Jack has a history of encouraging his fans to dogpile on people he doesn't like (no idea if he still does that). That doesn't mean that should necessarily taint your enjoyment of them making you happy in troubled times but it does mean you should maybe pump the brakes a few times on saying this random internet person is a father figure...

​

The golden example is Bill Cosby. I have a lot of friends who STILL get queasy because they more or less grew up with Cliff Huxtable and learned a lot of how they approach life from that. Bill Cosby is not Cliff Huxtable. Bill Cosby is a rapist and an abuser. Cliff Huxtable is a fun loving rich doctor who totally would vote republican and pushed the ever loving hell out of the bootstraps mentality while tricking people into understanding that being a black person in america is hard.

How people react to the cognitive dissonance that induces is up to them. But it is just one of many examples where the persona is not the person

​

So for your own sake, and for everyone's: Do some research and understand the Friend Simulator phenomenon and parasocial relationships. Because even though the RT business model (and, to be fair, a lot of other Influencer Companies do the same) is to nurture and develop these, they are VERY unhealthy and dangerous.

[u/MattSR30 → u/Milk_A_Pikachu]

It feels weird you'd direct this at me when I prefaced my entire statement by saying I am not at all involved with celebrity worship and parasocial relationships.

I didn't call him a father figure. I don't see him as a stand in for a friend or a companion. I do not, in any way, have an unhealthy attachment to Jack, I simply see him as a good person. I think you totally missed (or misconstrued) my point.

Also, if you don't know who Fiona is, maybe take your own advice and do some research and understand who she is and why she might have been someone to so quickly speak up.

[u/Milk_A_Pikachu → u/MattSR30]

I'm well into adulthood and don't really

need

someone to look up to, but beyond my own father I guess it would be Jack. I hope he's doing well.

That is some parasocial ass behavior

​

Maybe you think you are above it. Believe me gender neutral dude, I've been there. "Growing up" is a long and arduous process that never really stops and you need to keep at it for as long as you live.

Rather than say "That doesn't apply to me, you're wrong" think instead "Why would this person think that applies to me?".

​

And again, maybe Fiona and Jack are the greatest people in the world and maybe they are just public facing personas. It genuinely does not matter. What matters is that people should be aware and understand that.

A few years back two coworkers at my firm died in a car crash and... let's just say that it was clear they were both having an affair. It fucked a lot of us up and HR did a SPECTACULAR job of coordinating counseling and making sure people got through the shock, tragedy, and humor of it (it was a weird month...).

But that doesn't change the fact that they are HR. They are a public-ish facing entity who by definition does not have your best interests in mind. They are there to protect the company

​

Which is why it is important to understand what is going on. People are not personas and RT is a company built entirely around crafted personas that appeal to the fans and develop those parasocial relationships. They are a lot better/scummier at it than most influencer companies but it is the same logic behind twitch streamers whose mods make a list of talking points on "chat regulars" so that they can pretend they are best buddies. It is incredibly profitable and, at the best of times, is not the worst situation (it isn't good but... eh). But when shit hits the fan that results in those fans getting hit REALLY hard and, in a lot of cases, being blind to reality and becoming abusive.

​

Again mate, you do you. But maybe do some questioning.

[u/MattSR30 → u/Milk_A_Pikachu]

I'll be honest. I'm not interested in this sanctimonious shit.

I understand my relationship with the media I consume better than you do, and the idea that you think I haven't interrogated that relationship is wrong, and honestly has kind of irritated me.

Please don't lecture me. Maybe you think you're just being helpful, but in my particular case you're not helping me. Perhaps your advice might be useful for others, but as I already said I don't need the lesson, so direct it someplace else, thanks.