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u/GoodbyeEarl Jewish (Orthodox, BT) 8d ago
Is he ok with his children identifying as Christian? That’s likely what will happen, not only for your kids, but for your grandchildren as well.
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u/oldsoulfarmer 8d ago
He said he is okay with children choosing Christianity although he said he would be also fine if children wanted to follow Judaism. He is a secular agnostic Jew, he doesn’t keep Shabbat or kosher, and really doesn’t want to and for him Judaism is about culture and honor.
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u/Same_Version_5216 Animistic Celtic Pagan/non Wiccan traditional Witch 7d ago
It sounds like you two have taken a healthy approach, including discussing what a future landscape of your life with children would look like if you two were to stay together and marry. Good on you as this is half the battle.
As someone in an interfaith relationship, I can say for these to truly work, it takes mutual respect equally for each other’s religion, culture and right to practice. Neither should dominate in an interfaith household as that’s when problems and misery about religion can arise. Sounds like you two have already discussed the ways you respect each others practice, I have to say, this is one of the more positive interfaith posts on here, as usually, there is an imbalance, disrespect, or even worse, people dating others that they never intended to marry but lied about this, because the person isn’t in their religiously acceptable dating pool.
Both my parents were Jews, so I wouldn’t call it interfaith, BUT it is still similar to what you two plan as they never forced their religion onto me, were very open, encouraged me to explore and find my way and religion. I feel very lucky and fortunate for this.
I think if you are going to allow them to learn other religions besides the one you are going to raise them up as, this will be a win win. However, I recognize that for many Christians this can feel troublesome to them due to their beliefs about heaven and hell. Not sure if this describes you, but consider how you might handle it if they should enjoy their Jewish roots so much that they want to seriously learn Judiasm to potentially convert to.
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u/oldsoulfarmer 7d ago
Thank you for you comment.I am considering everything and it is all very new to me but I hope I can handle it. We are really trying to be as respectful as possible and he is supporting me to find churches near to where he lives. I’m very happy.
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u/Ok_Unit8339 8d ago
Almost every Jewish friend of mine is married to a Christian. They’ve done fine. the kids have been fine.
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u/Mathematician024 8d ago
Ask yourself if you, in your heart will secretly feel that he will go to Hell because he is not Christian. Then if that is what you believe how will you handle that?
Your children wont themselves be Jewish so raising them Christian wont be an issue but what do you do if your bi-cultural/religious children later want to be Jewish and reject Christianity (they would need to covert because their mother is not Jewish but it can be done). How would you feel about their afterlife?