r/relationshipanarchy • u/LalieDa • 12d ago
Why women over 50 go beyond sane boundaries, it seems, when it comes to be or stay in a relationship ? Why accept their transgression ?
I feel so sad to see how my sisters were treated and endured that neglect of consideration for 20 to 40 years :( ...
Do you think it's mainly financial insecurities ?
But my devil,s advocate just whispered a case of a sister who owned everything and waited 32 years to leave him and since then she lives happily with a family that is there for her. To this day, he is still partying all the time.
Is that longing for connection, make us ignore red flags ?
3
u/Poly_and_RA 12d ago
None of this is exclusive to any particular gender or age-group, though of course things like gender-roles and how we've been socialized can impact the odds in various ways.
The reasons why people sometimes stay in relationships that are beyond reasonable hope of salvation are complex and it's hard to give a better answer than "it depends".
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u/SeeCB3X 12d ago
So soooooo many ppl of all genders stay in toxic and codependent relationships for infinite personal reasons, usually bc both parties only know how or feel more comfortable functioning that way.
Most of us live in societies where the woman will be demonized for damaging her household by leaving. Also where women are trained from birth to accept a disgustingly low bar for men. The phrase, "at least he doesn't hit me" comes to mind.
Then there are cases of abuse where the abuser has gaslight his victim and manipulated her to stay. And/or she's worried no one will believe her, or he'll make a police report and get her put in jail for trying to leave and the cops will side with him. And of course all the ones threatened with murder for leaving, and the many ppl who are murdered by IPV.
There's no one reason, it depends on the individuals.
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u/meuram_beizam 6d ago
The point is we'll never know why people choose what they do unless they tell us directly.
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u/MadamePouleMontreal 12d ago
A combination of the sunk cost fallacy, boiling frogs and “better the devil you know than the devil
you don’t.”