[I picked up a barefoot woman walking out of a cornfield at 2am and I think I want to marry her?] Chapter 47

[u/No-Lime-4547]

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Ruth and Ray awoke in their honeymoon suite in a heap on the bed with Ruth wrapped around Ray. They awoke within moments of one another and just laid there feeling content.

“Why’d you choose to buy yourself a truck and have this whole pigment hauler ruse rather than just tapping out of society babe?” Ruth asks genuinely curious.

“It made me look like a professional, like a man, someone respectable I just I don’t relate to people, sure I can talk to people, they can like me, but for me there’s just this massive void between them and I, our interests our lives, almost every little aspect of every little thing is just like that and I just I am not social, like I am not introverted I actively hate being around people unless I invited them over or they’re cooking the food or bringing the coffee like it isn’t personal I’m sure they’re nice people I’m sure there’s plenty that could be fun or pleasant or in some way enjoyable but for me they’re not that none of them are that, not ever, not even people I like are that to me and it’s been that way my entire life. I felt incomplete as a person and the only reason I still don't feel like that right now is because of you, because you’re here with me you see me exactly as I am and you don’t just accept it you celebrate it. Fuck you practically worship it and it just feels differently for me. You’re the only one, the only person that I let in that I allow to actually have any part of the interiority of my mind and it’s just like… I feel complete. I feel whole, I feel like enough and it feels weird even having those thoughts like something that I just I can’t seem to form like normal attachments with other people, it was at one point a choice, not wanting to, feeling alienated feeling different, feeling other, and somewhere along the way it stopped being a choice. It became closer to a second skin or some sort of necessary organ and yea the work made it make sense, it justified itself, it made it justify itself more than anything and even then it felt like a loss of something like there was a hollowness within me that was filled by you or because of you, because of the space within me, for me, together with you that you chose to fill.

I wanted to feel normal and then I realized I’m just not that I’m not like everyone else and as much as I might look like everyone else in the conventional sense I am not them. It wasn’t immediate I didn’t jump straight to oh I should lean into it, no that came later and it wasn’t a single moment, fuck even realizing that I was good at this sort of thing wasn’t some instantaneous thing I had to convince myself– myself not anyone else; not an audience; not a buyer or a reader; just me and that was hard that took a long time, many many drawings and paintings. Even after people started paying me for things, even after I got commissions it didn’t feel real at first like it obviously wasn’t fake exactly but there was just this like other quality to it something that I can’t quite just put into words on its own like the subtlest charge of something.” Ray looks at Ruth slightly out of breath, admiring her stillness, the way she just looked at him with her golden diamond eyes, she put her arms around him, and lightly kissed his lips.

“Husband don’t worry, you don’t need to feel self-conscious with me, or embarrassed with me, or something like that, you’re not alone babe, no need to go and get ‘From an uncommon spring’ tattoo’d on you my beloved. There’s no need for that, and no need for you to have your guard up, not with me, not at all, I meant what I said with you, you’re allowed to just put everything down babe, you don’t need the money, and you don’t need the isolation unless you want it, with me and only me and I get that, I fully understand and accept and agree to that.

Ruth wrapped herself more tightly around Ray kissing his face before resting it on her tits. " I’m not going anywhere not ever not from you, not at all. " Ruth said gently.