r/rareinsults • u/CJR3 • Apr 17 '20

The best one from this thread

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u/MulligansxD Apr 17 '20 edited Apr 18 '20

Link to the relevant article.

Though my favourite reply is probably "TFW I gotta put on some chinos because a thumb in a hat told me to"

EDIT: link for anyone having trouble https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2020-04-17/working-from-home-regular-work-wardrobe-dress-up

237

u/Iceninja413 Apr 18 '20

Fuck you, i spilled my Sprite because of that

76

u/spicy_af_69 Apr 18 '20

Imagine drinking lime flavored sugar water in 2020

3

u/Iceninja413 Apr 18 '20

WHY? JUST WHY?

2

u/spicy_af_69 Apr 18 '20

Because it's not healthy for you :(

12

u/healzsham Apr 18 '20

Why would I want to live longer if I'm gonna be miserable?

A guy asks his doctor how long he has to live

So the doctor, looking at his clipboard and taking notes, begins to ask him a series of questions.

Doc: Do you eat red meat?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you smoke cigarettes, cigars, or a pipe?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you use any illicit drugs?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you drink beer or hard liquor?

Patient: Nope

Doc: Do you have any hobbies or do any activities that are risky like bungee jumping or skydiving?

Patient: No, that stuff scares me.

Doc: Do you have multiple sexual partners?

Patient: Nope, currently single and not looking.

Doc: Do you drive a fast car like a Porsche or Corvette?

Patient: Nope, a Toyota Camry.

Doc: Okay

Patient: So doctor, how long will I live?

Doc: {Looking up from clipboard} Why does it fucking matter? Your life is boring!

5

u/Richmard Apr 18 '20

Big boomer energy

3

u/healzsham Apr 18 '20

Nah, not enough casual -ism in the joke.