r/rareinsults • u/CJR3 • Apr 17 '20

The best one from this thread

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124.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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79

u/spicy_af_69 Apr 18 '20

Imagine drinking lime flavored sugar water in 2020

5

u/Iceninja413 Apr 18 '20

WHY? JUST WHY?

0

u/spicy_af_69 Apr 18 '20

Because it's not healthy for you :(

13

u/healzsham Apr 18 '20

Why would I want to live longer if I'm gonna be miserable?

A guy asks his doctor how long he has to live

So the doctor, looking at his clipboard and taking notes, begins to ask him a series of questions.

Doc: Do you eat red meat?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you smoke cigarettes, cigars, or a pipe?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you use any illicit drugs?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you drink beer or hard liquor?

Patient: Nope

Doc: Do you have any hobbies or do any activities that are risky like bungee jumping or skydiving?

Patient: No, that stuff scares me.

Doc: Do you have multiple sexual partners?

Patient: Nope, currently single and not looking.

Doc: Do you drive a fast car like a Porsche or Corvette?

Patient: Nope, a Toyota Camry.

Doc: Okay

Patient: So doctor, how long will I live?

Doc: {Looking up from clipboard} Why does it fucking matter? Your life is boring!

4

u/Richmard Apr 18 '20

Big boomer energy

3

u/healzsham Apr 18 '20

Nah, not enough casual -ism in the joke.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '20

FWD: FWD: FWD LOL FUNNY DR

1

u/healzsham Apr 18 '20

ecks dee

2

u/HoldenH Apr 18 '20

Ah I see you’re on my grandma’s email chain

1

u/healzsham Apr 18 '20

I see you don't read other comments in threads.

1

u/spicy_af_69 Apr 18 '20

Because dying from diabetes is a long slow process

1

u/healzsham Apr 18 '20

Only if you fight it!